Three Legged Cat 三脚猫

If the signage is correct....

2009-06-07T03:47:00.000-07:00

.... I'm going on an "Orgasm tour"!

That's because in Langkawi, I get the chance to do snorkelling, watching sunset, sight-seeing...

All of which culminates in this ageless saying for all holiday - "Have fun!"

Totally awed - New species discovery

2009-05-22T21:13:00.000-07:00

Totally awed by the read from this website. Somehow feel extremely estacstic that the world is still so beautiful.... but sadly, disappearing fast.

From:
http://www.wildlifeextra.com/go/news/*:newspecies&template=new_species

How many species are there?
There are approximately 4,500 species of mammals, 5,500 of amphibians, 8,000 reptiles, 10,000 birds and 30,000 marine species currently recognised by science, and that doesn’t include the untold numbers of invertebrates, bacteria and smaller beings (it is believed that there are 15000-20000 species of butterfly).

On average, 2 new species of fish are found every week, and it is thought that the jungles of the world contain many more amphibians and reptiles than have yet been named. Even now we still get a few new bird species discovered every year, and, amazingly, new species of mammal are still found occasionally.

New discoveries
Recent finds include a new Genus of monkey in Tanzania, a new parrot and forest mouse on a small Philippine island, a 'hairy' lobster (This was a whole new family, not species), a new snake in Vietnam, 5 new frogs and a new newt in Laos, a new stingray in Thailand, a new monkey in India, an unusual spitting spider in Madagascar that lives in family groups, and new sharks off Mexico and Indonesia. Borneo is a hotspot for new discoveries; from 1994-2004 361 new species were found there: 260 insects, 50 plants, 30 fish, 7 frogs, 6 lizards, 5 crabs, 2 snakes and a toad.

Sharing with you one of the links from this website:

Extinct bird, not seen for 100 years, photographed and eaten in The Philippines
http://www.wildlifeextra.com/go/news/worcesters-buttonquail.html

March 2009. A rare bird that was believed to be extinct as it had not been seen for more than 100 years has turned up in the Philippines and been photographed for the first time, the Wild Bird Club of the Philippines (WBCP) has reported.

Unfortunately, the bird was eaten shortly after being photographed as no one at the time realised the bird's importance.

The bird, known as Worcester's buttonquail (Turnix worcesteri), was recorded on both video and still photography by a TV documentary team at Dalton Pass in Nueva Vizcaya in January before it was cooked and eaten.

The WBCP hailed the discovery of the Worcester's buttonquail. "We are ecstatic that this rarely seen species was photographed by accident. What if this was the last of its species?" WBCP president Mike Lu said.

Jill Lowe and her killer cookie!

2009-05-11T08:19:00.001-07:00

Not that I would have given up by weekend Phuket trip over watching Jill's guest appearance in S Factor, but missing this episode was a tad disappointing. Thanks to You-tube, I can see how Jill killed her participants with her "nice cookie". Hey, was she inspired by Hansel and Gretel?

S Factor

2009-04-30T09:07:00.000-07:00

Under the intoxicating influence of SL LLG who has wheedled me into catching S Factor on Sunday night through his colourful illustrations of certain participants, I have decided to do just that.

The late hour of 10 pm and being at Tampines in the comfort of Goodest Friend's home did not dampen any possibility of spotting and crowning the most bimbotic participants of S Factor.

To say that SL LLG's initial introduction of key characters to look out for is minimally helpful is not doing justice to him, for when the screen lept alive, I have in as much brevity as possible, briefed Goodest Friend that in decreasing order of priority - Kris, Sonia, Holly, Michelle and Kay Kay would be my target sights.

Not that Kris is a gorgeous babe; on the contrary, she has been the most infamous underdog as yet to be voted out. No it's not the supraseeding look she possesses (well.. relative to the other participants), but her vacuous retort in the previous debate round has caught the delight of the TV audience by storm. Nor was the fact that she had been a common hate target (and this was made known very publicly) of other girls, but her most blurry lost countenance she exhibited when she answered questions - all of which had been fleshed out by SL LLG's actions in mockery.

Despite that, I do enjoy watching underdogs... and supporting them. So it was to my great dismay that the Holly InaneSense (not Holy Innocents which all the S factor participants clearly lack) of Holly and Kris respectively were to be voted out!
Sonia the pusher came back with a vengeance and she, being the least muzzled of all, will be my next watch!

Susan Boyle The Singer

2009-04-17T10:00:00.001-07:00

Haha... Just loved the way Susan wiggled when being patronised by Simon before holding on her own "And that's just one side of me".

A clear slap to the face of age-ist and "look-ist".

Country Road... Take me Home...

2009-04-10T09:33:00.000-07:00

..to the place.... I belong..

And long did the journey back to the land of sense and sensibility it took me.

Not yet quite drowned in the sea of work and (mainly) countless tuitions, moments of occassional indulgence did come in the weekends. Summing up a few key fond memories over the past 2 months, not in chronological order nor in order of preference:

(1) Sunset Grill.
We finally decided to hunt down this superbly ulu place in Seletar for the famed buffalo wings and chilling out at the corner of the world. Going with Goodest Friend, and my cousin and his goodest friend (basic math tells you it's 2 pairs for good reason), we cabbed down with instructions at hand to the driver, who understandably would take this assignment with a gulp in his throat at every wrong turn. We made it.

(2) Abi's visit
Another highlight where Abi came to Singapore from New Zealand where she is doing her PhD. My Ox classmate, my right and left hand man and woman (SL LLG and Goodest Friend) had been most accomodating, and had offered to accompany Abi either with me or alone to ensure she has the most enjoyable moment in Sing. That without saying earned Goodest Friend the comment that "I like WH.She's just so easy to talk to. Perfectly the type of girl for me.", and "SL is a very funny guy. It's always fun to have him around". From Goodest Friend who feedbacked "Abi is the most friendlyAng Moh I have ever met. I'm glad she said this is the most enjoyable trip she ever had"
Guess it's the case of all's well ends well.

(3) Breaking the Phuket News
Completely suffocated with swallowing this piece of news for the past 5 months, I decided to do myself a GREAT favour by announcing to the keen listener that she is going on a Phuket tour with me over the little weekend getaway for her birthday!
Speechless was the response.
Then came another sharing that we are going to spend our Saturday at this newly established hotel (http://www.capesienna.com/) where there is a jacuzzi in the room, which overlooks the beach. We decided we are just going to nuah on the beach and be totally incommunicado to the outside world.
The plan all came when Tiger airways had a promotion last year, and I snapped up two tickets to Phuket in November with good faith that Goodest Friend and I still remain bestest all the way up to her birthday. Same plan goes for the Cape Sienna accomodation. Go check out the hotel. Damn coolzzz siah.

(4) Undercover job.
Was really excited at the prospect of helping an organization to nap this guy who has been going around selling endangered animal parts. So was out on certain places and putting on my most trustworthy all-auntie-beguiling face. The moment I see the bugger, I am supposed to appear totally interested in an avuncular manner and slowly coaxing the unsuspecting one to flash out whatever he has. Alas, he did not come on that day. Wasted.

(5) Rock wall climbing
Totally freaked me out when I was doing it with my students for the CCA. Never climbed that far up and it was indeed an "eye opener" - eyes widened upon realising how my fear of heights have prevented me from progressing.
Solid fear.

Some days just don't have recessions

2009-02-15T08:16:00.000-08:00

One day, someone by the name of Saint Valentine decided that it would be a most wonderful business model and to public service, to find a day that shall boost the economy irregardless of whether there is a bull run or a bear day. So thanks to him, all of us decades down to road continue to splurge and try to outdo other alpha males in ways more than one to see who can single-handedly boost the economy.

Pathetically, I am one of them. If Daniel Kahneman and Vernon Smith hadn't won the 2002 Nobel economics prize for their studies on irrational decision making behaviour, I would have been well on my way to publish something to that effect. Look, it doesn't make sense to buy flowers and book restaurants at a premium price on every 14th of Feb, but that just happens.

I bit the bait willingly, knowingly and most hopefully. Calling in Pietrasanta Italian Restaurant at Portsdown Road (at Wessex estate), I was told, almost unusually that I should arrive either at 6 pm or 8.15 pm, but not in between. I decided for the former anyway.

It all didn't seem to start off well even before the dinner. I suggested to Goodest Fren that we meet at Clementi and take a taxi to Labrador Park since the street directory says it's close nearby and I wasn't sure if the taxi driver know where Portsdown Road is. The taxi driver was still not clear of where Labrador Park was and made such a huge roundabout that by the time I realised it's not going to work and that perhaps I should try giving him the exact address instead, Lo and Behold! He knew where Portsdown Road was! Saying that it's near Buona Vista, he drove us there. I must have kicked myself because I shouldn't have been so presumptuous and should have told him the exact address before being a smart aleck. Never mind. Treat it as Lesson Numero Uno.

When I arrived promptly with goodest friend at 6, we discovered we were the first to arrive (You know about my occupation hazard that stresses on punctuality). As it turned out, the usual menu didn't apply. They had a standard V Day menu, so it's across the board. Not that we mind, but I just find it disconcerting that they should have two time slots. But being the first to arrive may not necessary means we would be rewarded. You know how the system works. The more efficient one gets penalized.

For some strange reason or so, we were not allowed to change tables despite my request. C'mon, no other guests know about it. Second, other tables with guests who arrived later were served first. What vexed me was when we had to wait 45 min between the appetizer and the main course!! All because they tried to synchronize everybody as late comers were served late, AND we were one of the last to be served.

This was consistent for the coffee and the dessert, to the extent that I had to personally request the waitress time and again (did I mention that we were sitting at the entrance which was not what we wanted and they just couldn't have missed our empty table). Roling my eyes, Goodest Friend was trying to be more assuring but clearly we were on the peripheral.

Goodest Fren even said once she saw this guy behind me raising his hand and telling waitress 1 something about the food. When waitress 1 went to tell Waitress 2, Goodest Fren overheard her murmured "Alamak" with a most sian look.

And yes, we were the last to leave. Thank you very much.

This despite that like the Nan Hwa Ching fish head steamboat, serving the bill was impeccably fast within 20 sec. And all this shit for $130.

Overall, the experience was mediocre at best because the waitresses there were just so inattentive and unorganized. The only thing that cheered me up if only slightly was when Goodest Fren said she quite like the food and the rustic surroundings. But I felt that they have squandered away the good endowment of what the black and white houses and greeneries have on this restaurant. We agree that in future V Day, we would be better off going to have buffet at a typical downtown restaurant and at least we can eat to our hearts content. For picturesque and remote expriences, leave it to non-V Day. Leson Numero Dos.

Still feeling peckish, Goodest Fren and I decided to go to Clarke Quay TCC to have our drinks and some fried calamari. Chatting through the remaining of the evening, we finally agreed that despite all that had happened, it was still quite a memorable one.

And oh, should you decide to patronise the restaurant and the nearby Cicada (which I think is even more fantastic) during non-peak hours, take to Buona Vista MRT, and then take 191. Cicada and another one up the hill are great watering holes, ut take note, the last bus leaves on the early side of 8, so be prepared to cab.

P.S. Incidentally, Sunday Times page 14 just clarified that it should be Saint Raphael whom singles should be praying to and not Saint Valentine, who is more of a patron for attached/married couples. St Raphael was the one credited for solving the crisis of lonely hearts.

Fish head steamboat. Must chiak!!

2009-02-15T08:02:00.000-08:00

Lelong lelong!!

All ahn tees, ah sohs, ahn kers, and ah cheks.. Must share with you one very nice place to chiak, lim and tok cock sing song.

The place is..... drumrollll......
Nan Hwa Chong Fish steamboat. And the venue??

No, not Hwa Chong Junior College. But very good try... Any body out there wants to try??

If you got it right, it's within a kopitiam. You can choose the type of fish you want into. Got snapper, grouper, pomfret, etc. Then can order side dishes. We ordered pork chop and also clams. Very sedap!

Well, actually the exact location I also dun noe... But can tell you it's very close to Bugis MRT. Aiyah you noe lah. I always liddat one. Noe how to walk there but cannot name the road. But if you want directions, just take the MRT exit that says to Sir Stamford Raffles Hospital, then you walk out and turn right. Then walk all the way till you can see a row of shophouses. Beside the shophouse got this very big mosque. Walk up the road, and at the corner you can see already lor.

Anyway, I went with Goodest fren and Goodest friend's girlfriend - E. Miss E and goodess fren really like the fish stock, and you know what? Even as we were eating, this uhn ker came and out a reservation sign on our table, then say aiyah you know our place very famous one so that's why after you all leave, this place kenna chok oredi. But no hurry lah, can order for them to add stock.. but sometimes they very slow. Take a long time.

Only thing that is fast is call for bill lor. And this time, it's not even I call for bill. I was talking to goodest friend that we should call for bill, and this ahn ker quickly turn his head around and say, "Mai dan huh??"

Wah lau, super efficient leh.. Everything within earshot pertaining to mai dan he can hear. Other things like call for add soup pretend only.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

2009-02-08T07:54:00.001-08:00

Curious cases always attract curious audience. It is with this that Goodest Friend and I devoted our Saturday evening to Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchette and the unexpected Tilda Swinton.

Cleverly woven into the movie are events, things and characters of no seeming import. The clock and its maker, the war, the hummingbird, the captain......
By the time you realise the enormosity of it all of their place in the show in retrospect, you might have sucked in a big lump of air in sheer marvel and only to expirate these air with a gasp of WOW.

More than just curiosity and it certain does not kill the cat, three-legged or otherwise, the movie was deeply invoking. Despite the straightforward storyline of Benjamin being born old and then grow younger as he ages, he is nonetheless not immune to dealing with internal conflicts that are so familiar to the audience. The fact that he is aging backwards makes the confronting of all these dilemmas even all the more pronounced – of seeing loved ones aging and passing on, of responsibilities constantly shifting as the years wear on, of second-guessing what the other woman might be thinking, of listening into his own world what it means by sacrifice. Not that he would have been spared all these had his aging not been reversed. At the very least, it won't be of a greater magnitude than what we would normally experience.

At the end of the show, the audience clapped. What else would you have expected anyway, from this wonderful Case of Benjamin Button.

4th day at Taiwan: Alishan 阿里山國家風景區

2009-02-06T20:50:00.000-08:00

We arranged with 高山青大飯店 a bus tour for sunrise, and we did a stop-over in many interesting locations. Early in the morning when we crept out of bed and waiting at a reception, we heard a loud Americanised accent "It's so damn early", to which another voice replied "Don't be so dramatic". Half expecting a kirin to appear (the one making a comment about being early), we instead saw two girls coming down.

We later learnt that the girls had met while studying in the States, and the kirin like voice was from Yokohama. She understood no Mandarin and relied on her friend and her friend's family members to translate. Along the way, exlamations like "Oh my God!" spewed forth her mouth whenever she saw frost, a sea of clouds, etc etc that led me and SL LLG to believe she definitely isn't doing a geography major, or have done any form of geography in schools for that matter.

The coach driver spoke Hokkien (閩南語) most of the time, and while I have belittled SL LLG's knowledge of this dialect, all this condescendence evaporated when he was to my great amazament, explained to me how he heard the guide explaining that there was a particular tree that was touted to be 2000 years old officially, was actually 4000 years as this tree was wrapped around by the 2000 year old tree. Thus the 4000 year old tree was trapped inside.

One of the stops we made was to view the Couple Tree (夫妻樹). The sun-rising watching exercise was almost a ritual to all. We did not really expected it to be such as eye opener. If you do not believe what the fuss is all about, I suggest you watch this video in youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mFYFG4qAHKg

I could not upload the video I took, so that is the best you can get.

After that, we had breakfast as arranged by the hotel. We wandered around and took some pictures. After that, we went to Seven Eleven to buy some beef instant noodles and coffee. We decided to have that as our pre-sunrise breakfast. Night fell and we had our steamboat dinner at this restaurant to the left:

Climbing up, you will get to the train station.

We ordered bamboo shoots and roasted boar meat as side dishes. Very oishii!

Asia's tallest Starbucks to imbibe in coffee. What could be more carefree than just sitting there, chatting and talking. But we were quick to remind ourselves that whatever we gossip, the gods are nearer to us now that we were higher in the mountains, so we had better cut some slack in what we say!

Seems like the only clients coming here are likely to be Singaporean. Where we were seated, across the table, some Singaporeans populating it were spouting pidgin Chinese-Eng with our own beloved accent

5th day at Taiwan: Alishan National Parks 阿里山國家風景區

2009-02-06T19:51:00.000-08:00

We spent our second day at 阿里山. As we did the bus tour the day before, we decided to take the train. The schedule is kind of special. There is only one train up, and the same train down for the entire day. It is really meant for sun-rise watching.

We took this train!

At a chilly 4.30 am, SL LLG and I made our way to the train station which was located just above the restuarants vicinity. It was already chock-a-block by the time we arrived, but we managed to get our seats. The train was those of a quaint type and sitting inside it brought you back to the 1940s. When we finally arrived at our destination, many passngers wasted no time to take pictures. That was when SL LLG and I got separated.

A picture I took after getting off the train

What made it confusing was that there were two viewing decks. SL LLG being the elderly one decided to settle for the lower one, while those healthy, hearty and colourful characters of a heath had no trouble climbing up winding path that led to a higher viewing ground. There were many Hong Kong and mainland tourists climbing up too, judging from their conversations.

At the upper viewing ground, there were a few pavilions.

All waited with bated breath as the announcement that the sun was abut to make its debut. Though I had watched it the day before, it was still quite an excitement. After taking a video and some pictures, I made my way down and reunited with SL LLG. On the way back, he shared with me how the guide at the lower viewing ground told them lots of interesting news - like the sun will bounce up and down five times (Lu Lu in The Noose. Remember her?? yah.. will unhesitantly quip Bounce bounce ball 小球球 had she were there), or that global warming will make the growth of plants in the Alishan area used to make wasabi very expensive ion the years to come. In addition, going to Taiwan to watch sun rise in April will require them to be there at 4+ am!! But they will be compensated by the blooming cherry blossoms, etc.

Feeling spent, we returned to have our breakfast and decided to spend the time sleeping because there is essentially nothing to do. When we wake up, we whiled our time away (this is a luxury in retrospect and I wonder when is the next time I can use these words). When we woke up, we went to view a performance by the aborigines (原住民) in particular the Tsou tribe (鄒族).

The 鄒族. Due to the Hans influence, the tribe might go extinct since the total number of individuals were in the thousands.

After that we walked around and decided to buy some stuffs. That was when we formulated the great Alishan mathematical conundrum, and even though ShiLong LLG had receive his Mads degree in Camb!tch, he did not manage to provide the least easiest step. Allow me to recount. Ready for the story sum? Here goes -

SL LLG and I dealt with our Taiwan finance in an easy way. One of us will first pay for everything using our own NT2000, and when that runs out, the next one will take over, and so forth. We called this the Shared Account system. We keep this Shared Account in a different wallet compartment from our own personal account.

While buying some 土產, I realised my personal account is not enough. At that time, I had already put aside NT2000 as Shared Account. So I told SL LLG I will pay first using the shared account.

To illustrate with some numbers, say I wanted to buy coffee powder which cost me NT 500. I had only NT100 in my personal account. So I decided to pay the remaining NT 400 using the Shared Account. As I later remarked that I will return NT200 to the Shared Account, SL LLG pounced onto me and remarked - seems like your maths is not very good. Can you spot the problem? It is rather apparent now as the way I phrase this problem has somewhat make it easy to spot the mistake, but when you are involved, it was strangely confounding.

Nevertheless, SL LLG offered an almost circuitous solution involving transfers betweeen Personal Account to Shared Account, and then also giving him x amount of money. In all that perplexng explications, I finally understood where I was wrong. However, I managed to come up with an easier solution - Just treat the NT400 as a loan from the Shared Account. All I have to do is to pay back that NT 400. The CamB!tch-educated SL LLG was surprised at how this elegant solution had eluded us. We agree on one point however, that the laid-back, insouciant days of vacation in Taiwan had cause our mental faculties to be decidely blunt.

The carpark. Above there were many reaturants. Still further up, the train station.

Once while strolling to pass the time, I lamented how the dearth of activities in Alishan made this place extremely boring if you are staying for 2 days. Sharing with him my business proposal, I said I will set up an Internet cafe and KaraOk. Sl LLG eyes were gleaming when I asked him what would his business proposal be. Without any sense of shame, in an almost unhesitantly manner, he quipped, "I will exploit the 原住民 living here, pouring drinks in KaraOk and performing dance, singing, accompaniment for clients, making sure that a trip up Alishan is worth their time!"

When night fell, we decided to try a different steamboat restaurant. The eagled-eye me happened to spot a quiant looking restaurant and suggested to SL LLG we should dine there. The interior decor was wood-based so it gave us a hark to the past kind of feeling. We picked a far end of the seat, and enjoyed the stew and conversations, eavesdropping on what another table of Singaporeans were talking in gusto to a Taiwanese guide.

Still not quite done with Asia's tallest Starbucks, we went back there again and had our drinks before making our way back to the hotel to pack up our stuffs.

The Apprentice and the Dowager

2009-02-05T07:39:00.000-08:00

This is a tale about an apprentice and a dowager set in the Chink dynasty. While the best-intentioned SL LLG may have warned the apprentice that there lies a Dowager who breathes down the neck of anything called Humans different from her own kind, the apprenticen had already heard of this proverbial Cixi even before he started in January.

It does not require one to be a politics wunderkind to know that to engage in any form of confabulation with THE Cixi, tactfully diplomatic or otherwise, is akin to walking with a time bomb. And yet to use a time bomb as an analogy would have been fallacious, for the Dowager's modus operandi is never as straightforward as an explosion in front of its victims, preferring to claim the victim's life only after taking a circuitous route and boomeranging those who are even vaguely connected to the target.

That was exactly what the apprentice encountered. While taking a stroll in the expansive imperial gardens, the hapless one was accosted, almost being pounced on, by the DOWAGER. To say that the apprentice has dug his own grave would be gravely (no pun intended) immature, an accusation that stems from the dearth of experience that Dowager will not be called Cixi if she had been less sneaky.

When asked how much practice the apprentices had attended hitherto, his reply that it was one almost quickly led to the gathering of the darkest yin clouds on the Dowager's head. Without any signs of disapprobation except to advise the apprentice to do a lot more, it seemed that there was no further room for any parley of necessity.

It wasn't until the next two days that the apprentice realised that the Dowager had sent her missives to inform everyone about the apprentice's perceived misdemeanour, irking all but those who felt the Dowager had created not just a storm in a teacup, but more aptly a cyclone Nigris in a sewing thimble. What set the apprentice at ease was the level of empathy and support these people had garnered for him, with SL LLG being one of the most ardous apologist as evidenced in the sms exchange between the apprentice and him:

THE APPRENTICE: That @#$ sent emails to Mr A and Miss B that I should be doing more. Luckily they were most understanding towards me.

SL LLG: Humph! She is a Micro Manager Best Kept in A Miserable Manger.

THE APPRENTICE: I imagine what she will teach her children when she tells them Aesop Fable - The Dog in the Manger. She will arm-twist the moral of the story by concluding "The b!tch's right in sitting on the hay, for at the end of the day, she will have the final say, yay!"

SL LLG: Never realise you could write such poem about b!tches. You are indeed a Bard with a capital B.

THE APPRENTICE: If I am really a Bard, and if I may add on to your poem, it would read,
She is a Micro Manager Best Kept in A Miserable Manger.
But still pose a Menacing Danger,
To Even the Mightiest Ranger!

SL LLG: Aiyo, you should out this in your blog.

Alors.
Voila!

Tuition has no recession, just like intuition will never go out of fashionnnnnn

2009-01-26T09:00:00.000-08:00

In the youtube clip, "Mad TV - Substitute teacher", the Mexican and fakely pious Miss Lindamariarondriguezponpadomgracias was asking the definition of an analogy.

A most assiduous student above raised her hand and replied with an almost esoteric effect that led to Miss L to develop fainting spells, "An analogy is a comparison between two things that are otherwise dissimilar"...

Miss Lindamariarondriguezponpadomgracias's example to the analogy cannot be more lewd than "Travelling leads to humping, just like farting leads to pooping".

Eschewing that and taking a more apposite one which both SL LLG and I are quietly grateful (In the words of Miss L, "¡Ay Dios mío!"), we have found our own tagline. It is.. ahem... listen carefullly....(and dun flame us).

Leson Numero Uno -

Tuiiii-tion has no re-ce-ssion, just like in-tuiiiii-tion will never go out of fashionnnnnnnnn..

Lame. You say.

¡That's right!

Though we are prepared to receive no bonus or worse still, a pay cut, we can always count on tuItion for our much needed lobangs. *So one idea I have* is to take in tuition kids! Thzzzzzzz

Food Blog And Happhy New Year!

2009-01-25T09:14:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year everyone!

I still enjoy celebrating CNY even as much while being an adult. Not least because it's one of those days where my Mum cooks up a storm and the whole family makes a conscientious effort to have dinner together. No, I am not going to write to the Straits Times about cooking up the festive mood, or else they say me the tuition t-cher very insensitive to the gloomy economy.

While in the mood for food, I am going to share with you all my dear readers, a food blog! The recommendations are all decent, and they give true-hearted S'poreans a run for their money. Check this out. Some of the locations are ulu, and this is most befitting for those who are tired of crowded shopping malls and quotidian restaurants.

http://www.flavor.sg/best-restaurants-in-singapore/index.php/best-restaurants-for-valentines-day/

Enjoy!

Fireman story as forwarded by friend

2009-01-24T23:27:00.000-08:00

It's not what you know but what you are that makes a difference.

In Phoenix , Arizona , a 26-year-old mother stared down at her 6 year old son, who was dying of terminal leukemia.

Although her heart was filled with sadness, she also had a strong feeling of determination. Like any parent, she wanted her son to grow up & fulfill all his dreams. Now that was no longer possible...

The leukemia would see to that. But she still wanted her son's dream to come true.

She took her son' s hand and asked, 'Billy, did you ever think about what you wanted to be once you grew up? Did you ever dream and wish what you would do with your life?'

Mommy, 'I always wanted to be a fireman when I grew up.'

Mom smiled back and said, 'Let's see if we can make your wish come true.'

Later that day she went to her local fire Department in Phoenix , Arizona , where she met Fireman Bob, who had! a heart as big as Phoenix

She explained her son's final wish and asked if it might be possible to give her 6 year-old son a ride around the block on a fire engine. Fireman Bob said, 'Look, we can do better than that. If you'll have your son ready at seven o'clock Wednesday morning, we'll make him an honorary Fireman for the whole day. He can come down to the fire station, eat with us, go out on all the fire calls, the whole nine yards!

And if you'll give us his sizes, we'll get a real fire uniform for him, with a real fire hat - not a toy -- one-with the emblem of the Phoenix Fire Department on it, a yellow slicker like we wear and rubber boots.'

'They're all manufactured right here in Phoenix, so we can get them fast.'

Three days later Fireman Bob picked up Billy, dressed him in his uniform and escorted him from his hospital bed t o the waiting hook and ladder truck. Billy got to sit on the back of the truck and help steer it back to the fire station. He was in heaven.

There were three fire calls in Phoenix that day and Billy got to go out on all three calls.

He rode in the different fire engines, the Paramedic's' van, and even the fire chief's car.

He was also videotaped for the local news program.

Having his dream come true, with all the love and attention that was lavished upon him, so deeply touched Billy, that he lived three months longer than any doctor thought possible.

One night all of his vital signs began to drop dramatically and the head nurse, who believed in the hospice concept - that no one should die alone, began to call the family members to the hospital.

Then she remembered the day Billy had spent as a Fireman, so she called the Fire Chief and asked if it would be possible to send a fireman in uniform to the hospital to be with Billy as he made his transition....

The chief replied, 'We can do better than that. We'll be there in five minutes.. Will you please do me a favor?

When you hear the sirens screaming and see the lights flashing, will you announce over the PA system that there is not a fire?'

'It's the department coming to see one of its finest members one more time. And will you open the window to his room?'

About five minutes later a hook and ladder truck arrived at the hospital and extended its ladder up to Billy's third floor open window-------- 16 fire-fighters climbed up the ladder into Billy's room

With his mother's permission, they hugged him and held him and told him how much they LOVED him. With his dying breath, Billy looked up at the fire chief and said, 'Chief, am I really a fireman now?'

'Billy, you are, and The Head Chief, Jesus, is holding your hand,' the chief said. With those words, Billy smiled and said, 'I know, He's been holding my hand all day, and the angels have been singing..'

He closed his eyes one last time.

Out of touch

2009-01-21T23:47:00.000-08:00

Dear visitors, I know it has been quite a while since the three legged cat has updated anything on the blog, and also to post the first few days of Taiwan ex-per-en. Not that I am renegading on my promise, but was heavily involved in some of the work stuffs and of course, lots of personal errands too.

To sum it up what had happened to me in case you had mistaken me for being abducted by aliens:
(1) Went to a couple of quaint places for coffee, food and drinks with Goodest Friend. There's this Coffee Nations near Bugis Arab Street. When we were there, Goodest Friend overheard the owner that they had barely set up a few mnths ago, and by the powerful word of mouth, it had attracted a fair share of coffee-lovers seeking some solace. The service is impeccable and I would highly recommend you to there.

(2) Upper Thompson. Again, shophouses have been the theme of recent outings nowadays for Goodest Friend and me. So we chose to go uper thomson road where there is this Liquid Kitchen and many other little shops. There is also an ice-cream parlour nearby which only those who ahd visited there through recommendations by other friends would know. It's kind of tucked away but the delectable ice-cream there certainly deserves your endeavours to find it.

(3) Speaking of ice-cream, there's Udders which is in Novena. Apparently, I was engaging in some small talk with a man I met in SAFRA Yishun gym, and he told me he was the owner! Wow.. apparently, he was a Yishun Town Sec teacher before and when I expressed awe that the school had performed tremendously well in recet years, he could only sigh to say that his batch of teachers worked extra hard for many others to reap the profit. Oh well, he has no regrets leaving the teeching profession for he is now milking all the good profits from his Udders (I mean his shop Udders). They sell both alcoholic and nonalcoholic ice-creams.

(4) O level results. Out of 4 kids I tutored last year, it seems only 1 managed to hit an A for the subject. As for the other 3 kids, they managed Bs and Cs. If you consider that they were al borderline or sub-borderlined (euphemism for the F grades), it's considered value-added. Still 2 of them expressed disappoinment as they left the exam hall feeling happy that they could clinch an A, only to realise they got B. perhaps due to intense moderation? Nevertheless, these were the two testimonies of what two mothers texted me:

"Hi ***, i m pleased to inform that charlene did well for her o levels. physics- A2 and chem - B3. Thank u very much for ur patience and dedication in tutoring her. Without u, she wd hv never made it on her own. God bless u. Regards, charlene's mum, j".

And another from my friend whom I tutored her son. Unfortunately he did not get the A grades he wanted. Still my friend was thinking it might be a blessing in disguise he could not go to a JC as we felt he was more inclined in his maths and science.

"Hi, [V] just got back home. He got b4 for physics, b4 for chem, b3 for a math."

Ok, that's all for now. Am looking forward to updating more on my Taiwan trip when I am done! Thanzzzzz

6th day 臺南 Tainan

2009-01-03T02:58:00.000-08:00

We arrived in Chiayi after takig a super long bus ride from 阿里山. There, we had our second serving of turkey rice and also bought some square biscuits (Chiayi's famous for it). To go to 臺南 from Chiayi, we had to take a local train that is only one stop away. Like Chiayi, 臺南 has not much traffic lights and so has the same haphazard feeling.

We were apprehensive of our hotel cos it is the cheapest of all in the Taiwan trip. At S$35/pax, we walked into the lobby with bated breathe and found out that it was actually OK. This was because there was a spare room that was bigger and the hotel receptionist happily gave us. Nevertheless whether this is a good thing we don't know because that night while we were sleeping, SL LLG claimed to have seen a figure outside the balcony, and that he was awaken by the door opening and closing. That, whether I shall leave it to his fecund imagination or as the pan tang me were to say, he has seen something dirty, has still yet to be ascertained.

Anyway, as we went into the room, the eagle-eyed me started to notice a few lackings - (1) No hot water dispensary and worse still no kettle! (Later I found out all hot water had to be retrieved from the lobby in a paper cup), (2) No slippers, (3) Queen bed rather than two single bed (Having a fox sleeping beside the cat is not a wise idea, let alone comfortable), (4) a bit of old feeling. Other than that, it is Ok. I once declared to SL LLG that only one thing will make this hotel the BEST, and he laughed.

I shall digress. We went for lunch at this place beside 赤崁樓. The owner thought we were fromm Hong Kong, as is a common ex-pe-ren in Taiwan for these past few days, especially when we speak. 赤崁樓 was originally the site of the city of Providentia built by the Dutch in the 1650s as they outgrew Zeelandia. There are tablets, stone horses/camels and a row of nine turtle-borne steles with inscriptions. It has undergone changes from the Ming Dynasty to the Ching Dynasty to the Japanese occupation and to Taiwan's Retrocession.

There was a free tour so SL LLG and I joined in the tour which introduced the statues of Koxinga and also the story of the horse statue that has a missing leg, as well as one of the turtle carring a stele. It was a nice place to explore, not least because of the old Chinese feel. The guide made the experence a whole lot better as many of the nuances in Chinese architecture would have been carelessly overlooked without expert's advice.

After this, we visited a couple of temples and marvelled at the intricate differences in the carvings, especially since the guide book was able to give a lustrous explanations as to which part of the temple was done in the Ming dynasty and which was not. Philistines of course wouldn't be able to discern. Below is a picture I took in one of the temples.

Above: A plum tree picture. It is said that the last Ming king planted a plum tree in his garden, which has since then been converted into a temple.

We went around to a lot of places including finding a street that the guidebook promised to be the MOST picturesque street in Tainan. We found it eventually but then suddenly we found out that we had suddenly lost our purpose! Feeling a bit spent now we were at the crossroads of deciding what to do before we found our legs carrying us to round and round and round...... exploring what came may... I must admit that Tainan suddenly seemed quite boring... There was even a couple of times where we were almost lost.

Of course along the way we ordered bubble tea, and SL LLG did the most heinous thing of leaving his (and my) cups on the pavements when we couldn't find a dustbin. With my crocodile morals, I pontificated how wrong it is for overseas Singaporeans to dump rubbish in the most uncivilised manner.

Still we were happy to enter this tea house! It was our first tea house since our visit in Taiwan and we were enjoying the tea and the lovely interior. I discovered the second floor is a better deal in terms of ambience so we were indulging in small gossips admists sips. Having our thirst sated, we decided it is best to try the coffin bread. Apparently, it was made of thick toast with the centre cut out so that fillings of what seemed to me like a very rich Campbell soup seafood stuffings can be added. It was apparently "invented" to cater to the American tastes when they were stationed there during the WWII period.

After this, we decided to go to the night market by foot since we were rather full and a walk would do us good.

It was a mistake we would never ever forget.

We must have walked for an hour and passed by this open area. Then both of us had our bladder almost full and wanted to use the (unusually a lot) of mobile toilets in this open area.

Don't they resemble coffins?, I quipped without thinking too much.
Yes, they do leh now that you said it. Be careful of things that will jump out when you open the cubicle door
When SL LLG said this, I froze on my track. With one hand on the door, my ever fertile mind started to be imaginative. If anything, we had successfully scared each other!

Realising that the open area belonged to the night market, we bemoaned that we had come at the wrong day. With a heavy heart, we went to the city centre again by foot. This time round, we explored a bit for some watering hioles (SL LLG would be fascinated by Down Under's watering holes a few weeks later in the gym with his Brother Ong). Then we came into this Japanese restaurant.

Going in, we oredered a German sausage and sake. Hoping it to be a warm one, we were disappointed when it came in ice. All disappointment evaporated however when we took a sip and found it delighted our taste buds! So we went talking in the midst of Japanese chatter. However I noticed when we came in or were leaving, they dint even bother to greet us, though they had considerately done so for those Japanese. Sigh.. those TKPGs (Taiwan Kimono Party Girls).. obviously sucking up to the big toes of the Japanese.

7th day 臺南 Tainan

2008-12-26T23:55:00.000-08:00

It was our second day in Tainan and we decided to have breakfast (fish soup and a plate of fried something I cant remember) at a shop near the 赤崁樓. We asked this lady who was sweeping the floor outside the bridal shop how to walk to 安平 but she was quick to point out we were going the wrong direction.

After while we decided to take a cab to 安平古堡. The taxi driver was confused with our instructions and ferried us to the navy. Thankfully he was kind enough to charged us a discount when we finally reached. At 安平, there is the old Fort Zeelandia which was built in 1620 by the Dutch. Like Sentosa, it had many fake cannons which attracted a lot of sua gu tourists like us and some school children. They even had a free photography-cum-insurance card session where a free photo was taken and made into a card. It was essentially an insurance card so if we fall sick in Tainan, we re insured. If not, then it is a souvenir gift. Very very thoughtful!

After this, we went to Zhou's famous prawn roll which the taxi driver say die die must try. So we went in for lunch and then after that continued to tour the area a bit, ending up in a "tree house" which we thought was a house on a tree, but no, it means - a tree on a house (i.e. the roots grow around the house). We decided not to see the old trading establishments, preferring instead to return to Tainan city centre where we went to Confucius Temple next.

There we took some pics for facebook and then started walking to other areas passing by the old gate:

And moving on, we reached the five-concubines temple. Accordingly, when the last Ming emperor died in Taiwan (by way of suicide), his five concubines demonstrated their loyalty by ending their lives. Such was the devotness that the temple is also a site for their tombs. Passing by many other exquisite temples, we ended up in a shrine (鄭成功祖廟)devoted to Koxinga (or 鄭成功) who tried to restore the Ming dynasty but failed.

Inside the 鄭成功祖廟.

Nevertheless, he was revered for driving out the Dutch. The name Koxinga is a Dutch's bastardization of guo xing ye, a title conferred to 鄭成功. Interestingly, 鄭成功 was born to a Chinese pirate father and a Japanese mother.

With our tired legs, we decided that we should start looking for a place to sit. So we ended up in this cafe where we ordered a set of coffee and toast (with egg). There was this boy beside us with an English Grammer book and we were thinking whether he might just turn his head to us and asked us a few questions since he was glancing at us when we conversed in English earlier!

As the guidebook said this meatball in glutinous rice is a must try, we walked across the road to try it. They were only so so, and SL LLG quickly lamented how ang moh's fascination of Asian countries really leaves much to be desired. We continued out food pilmigrage to Slack Season's 擔仔麵 which we eventually found.

At least the interior was picturesque as the man made the noodles on the spot upon request.

Determined not to let the previous failed attempt of 花園夜市 search where we walked for at least an hour, we made sure that it was opened by asking the lady in the 擔仔麵 shop. It was a horrible walk the day before so we decided to cab there today. But since we were still too early, we walked for a bit and then passed by a shoe shop. There was 50% discount so we got ourselves a pair. Realising that we had quite a bit of stuffs with us, we returned to the hotel first to put our stuffs down. After watching a TV programme showing how the first Ming dynasty emperor came to power (SL LLG said it is a potential National Education video for the Taiwanese/Chinese), we left for the 花園夜市.

At 花園夜市, I had my first chance of 臭豆腐 which is not for the faint-hearted including SL LLG who refused outright to try.

I love them with the pickled cabbages!

We also ate some other 小吃 including duck wrap and oyster omelette with SL LLG. Soon we were just too full and our cab returned us to the hotel. We spent some time trying to figure out which bus stop was the most appropriate to take the bus to the train station for tomorrow. To which, SL LLG had to ask this jewellery shop auntie, but she was kind enough to offer.

Unlike yesterday where we had drinks at the Japanese outlet, we decided to miss night drinking a miss.

情非得已-吉他

2008-12-26T23:51:00.001-08:00

SL LLG, once you have mastered C, G, F, Am and then Em chords, you can then play this song - typically four months. As for timing, that depends on how talented you are. Hmm... maybe for you, six months?

8th day. Back to Taipei

2008-12-22T09:15:00.000-08:00

We took the train from Tainan to Taipei. But this was no ordinary train. It was the 高鐵 (high speed rail) that promised to get us back in 2 hrs, rather than 4 hrs. So in the early morning we took the cab to the station, and then proceeded to Mos Burger for our lunch. The menu was decidedly different but it was fabulous nevertheless! Then we went to Seven-Eleven to get our origini (or Japanese rice filling wrapped under seaweed).

Apparently, on the train SL LLG challenged me to open the origini without breaking apart. He FAILED big time, big shit! I was laughing my head off and he asked me to show him instead. I must admit that it was my first attempt but as you all know, good habits are cultivated since young, and so I have this instinct of opening things in a wholesome manner. With that triumphant air to his wide-eyed incredulity he exhibited when I finally did it, SL LLG was certainly very miffed.

Reaching Taipei, we welcomed the familiarity, though that meant the faster pace of life had returned. We arrived in the hotel, this time pleased with the new room for it had a window!! At the service counter was these 2 girls who over-bought, and one girl was bossing the other girl to "Take out that $100 Sing dor-lah nOW!! We need it for excess baggage!" A scan of her things showed they bought a semi-giant winnie da pooh soft-toy (duhhhh you mean we dun have this in ToyR Us Singapore??), multiple boxes of (I assumed 土產 which is really fine BUT BOXES AND BOXES as if a famine is about to hit Singapore) and bags og dunno what. Anyway that's her problem.

So we went to 孫中山 memorial hall and were quite delighted to find ourselves in the next schedule for the change of parade guarding Mr 孫 statue. As I was taking down the video of the whole thing, this guy (I shan't say he's from PRC) was most inconsiderate. He was trying to stay a few steps ahead of the incoming guard and getting his friend to take pictures of him. This earned the ire of the in-charge who had to repeatedly tell him to stand back. My video cam was blocked a couple of times by this zealot! But SL LLG who saw the screen of camera said the photos weren't well taken anyway despite hs efforts.

We landed ourselves next to the shopping centre beside the famed Taipei 101, but we did not go up as it was too expensive. Still we got to the mall nearby and had a sumptuous lunch. If you don't believe, you see:

Then we proceeded to get our facial wash, though SL LLG couldn't find his favourite Japanese imported milku milku. Feeling very sleepy, we contemplated of returning to the hotel, but decided that we should just go straight to 淡水.

This we did and we stopped over at Fort San Domingo, ex-British consulate and Aletheia University which included a small Oxford college, and founded by the Canadian George Leslie Mackay. Apparently, the night view made the red-bricked buildings very spooky ...

...and we were taking some "scare pictures"

Then we decided to go to 漁人碼頭 (fisherman's wharf). We met an old couple along the way and asked them for the general direction. The old lady was kind enough to tell us that we should not be walking but rather take a cab or at least a bus. This fell on deaf ears as we were soon to find and we must have walked for another hour before reaching! But the journey was fraught with life's most unearthly temptations. No I am not taking about the spider spirits of 西游記 which tried to seduce the most innocent 唐僧, but the object of our temptation was no less powerful - 檳榔 (betel nut)! Stopping by a shop that had a sign screaming 檳榔, our curiousity killed the three-legged cat and nine-tailed fox. The owner was most amused when we popped the ever interesting question as a virgin would for the first time - 請問怎樣吃??
Well, just chew it as if you would to a chewing gum! This we did but without gleefully taking some pictures of popping it into our mouths.

But we regretted it shortly after. Our heart palpitated and we knew that would be the last time. Pity, there were still many of them in a packet (which incidentally showed a scantily cladded women on both sides), and we were thinking of giving them to a friend who we hated! Evil..

Finally reaching 漁人碼頭...

....where a beautiful bridge even attracted a couple to take wedding shots there, we went straight to have our hot steaming 阿給, which is essentially 東粉 wrapped in beancurd skin and served with peanut gravy. I tell you.. it was so windy that we ate like refugees. Realising that the cold wind had caused many stalls to remain closed, we had fried shishamo in the next stop before deciding that enough is enough. We took a bus back to 淡水. As we passed by 永福豆漿, we decided that we should try ti to see if it lives up to its name. Verdict, pretty decent.

Then we stumbled upon a live performance by 卓文萱 near the MRT.

So we stayed for a while watching the performance - 愛的城堡 and other songs she belted before returning back to 西門 and our hotel.

9th day. Very urai

2008-12-12T21:13:00.000-08:00

烏來

That is how the place was named after the 原住民 there saw bubbling steam coming out from a place and deem the place urai (or poisonous in their native language). Nowadays tourists throng the place for its famed hot springs and aboriginal culture.

We happened to see a tour package being sold at the bus station when we reached the Xindian MRT station. It cost us NT600 for a day tour including a mini bus to 內洞 where there is a climb up with the 導遊 to see the famous 瀑布, and then a performance by the aborigines. The climb was quite a work out but before that we were advised to get some food to toughen our stomach and muscles.

This group of "picnic aunties" (as SL LLG called them) seemed to be very "ex-pe-ren" as they got tonnes of sausages, fruits and noodles during a stopover and they were having a palace feast when we finally had a break halfway our climb. Well, we were discussing that should the bus break down and we were trapped in the mountains, SL LLG and I would have no qualms robbing these aunties of their food to stay alive! That was especially since SL LLG and I shared only a sausage and a stick of three small lean meat!

In one of the mobile toilets, there was a sign on the door
"請輕聲關門"
I almost died when I saw the English translation -
"Please close the door with a soft voice"
Unfortunately I did not take a pciture of it!

The waterfall which was part of the rewards for the climb.

As the climb got higher, many started to stay put and only a few tough ones (including two of us) stayed ahead. Eventually, the 導遊 declared that we should begin our descent and start bringing those who stopped halfway waiting down. After a few inquisitive questions by another Taiwanese female 導遊 who asked where we were from and so on (SL LLG said that he would have no problem accepting her as his gf if she only slightly indicated interest), we were shuffled on the bus to watch tye aborigine dances.

Now, there were only four of us who signed up for this dance performance. Besides SL LLG and me, there was also this Taiwanese young couple sitting in a big hall. Accoridng to the Guide Book, the dance comprised of a few performances and it always ended with a marriage dance. So we knew we would be called. After all, what was the chances we wouldnt since there were so few of us! So I told SL LLG, if we got called, he would go up and dance and "marry" one of the girls while I will take pictures! We agreed with this arrangement.

Who would have thought that when the dancers came in, they chose all EXCEPT SL LLG! What was that supposed to mean huh, I asked SL LLG later. Looks like even if I wanted to be left on the shelves, I couldn't! As for you, look like they found your face too unmarriageable! Of course, he felt very very b!tched.

Though later, he was called into the dance, but that was because they wanted to take pictures of us and then charged a hefty sum. This they did, and the Taiwanese couple knew too well, so they must have expressed some displeasure when they sid 500 NT at first, only to quickly dropped to 300 NT. We were happy that it worked out this way.

When it was finally time for us to go, we went to queue up for the famous 山豬香腸. It has more 野味 and some people may not like it.

Notice how the seller looks like a mascot to the 山豬香腸! Ok, very bad.. Haha

Then we went for dinner - the place was famous for their bamboo rice. After some walking and picture taking of the picturesque place:

We decided that we should do our hot spring. It was an all-men indoor one and since I had gone onto one many years before when I was in Taiwan, I had to teach SL LLG the etiquettes of it - first de-robe down to your birthday suit. Then scrub yourselves real clean before going in. Try various pools of different temp to improve the health enhancement effects, and of course dun stay too long in a hot one or we would have problem having babies!!

There was nobody there when we entered so I took a picture

We had the whole place to ourselves for half hour before an ang moh came in next and he plunged straight into it! No no.. he did not bathe. tsk tsk

After the whole experience which causes SL LLG to eat back his previous avowment - "I don't foresee myself going to Taiwan hot spring more than once", made during the beginning of the trip. He was so enamoured with the whole experience that he looked forward to the next one when I told him Beitou also has hot spring. I was incredulous that in all his past 3 times to Taiwan, he had never been to a hot spring before! Now he's a hot spring convert!

Back in the hotel, I asked, "SL LLG, if you were the emperor what would you do to China", to which his most earnest and quick reply was "Education and decentralization. That would make China a most agreeable country to govern compared to other dynasties. What about you leh?", he asked me.

"Well, first I would make sure that they pump hot spring water into my palace everyday. Then I will ask the court girls to dance while I soothe my muscles. Then I would order the finest food to be sent to my table after the soak and sleep on silk beds that shall be made by a thousand delicate hands"

He almost died.

10th day. Punishment before enjoyment

2008-12-11T09:43:00.001-08:00

陽明山.

The mere recalling of how SL LLG did it with consumption king in their last trip to Taiwan where they scaled 1000 km still brought a shudder to him. That said, since we had a limitation of time, we knew that we had to finish the mountain of 陽明 before moving on to 北投.

So we cheated.

Well sort of. First we climbed quite a bit to the information centre where the kind lady immediately smelt the Singaporeanness in us and advised us to take a bus to a few poplar destinations and then climbed from there. After realizing that the bus was perpetually crowded, we decided to climb a bit of our own (still that "a bit" took us 45 min) before we took a bus from a more favourable location.

When we alighted, what greeted SL LLG sent a chill down his spine. "Yes" he muttered. This was the one consumption king and I climbed for 4 hours.
Determined not to repeat history, we decided to climb only a bit and then take some pictures

Take bus (#230 across 7-11) straight to 北投. Alighting, we went striaght to Hell Valley. According to the Guide Book, after a man fell in and scalded to death from the 90+ degrees celsius water, they have fenced up the whole place. Essentially, it was a lake but a boiling one at that

After that, we were on our hunt for our hot spring. There are many hot spring hotels there and were were ready to settle for a more atas one when something told me there are better deals up the slope. So we climbed a bit and entered this hotel which is beside a lovely quaint looking Catholic church. We were happy to hear that each of us only have to pay NT250 for 1.5 h of soak. And the best was yet to come. We were told we have the WHOLE area for ourselves and let me show you the pictures why were almost led to ecstacy when we saw what we had:

There are two pools all designed as if they were outdoors. The inner pool is warmer and the outer one is really nice to sleep in for an hour.

A bamboo hut and washing up area for changing and cleaning.

After that we were on our way to KFC for a quick dinner as were were interested to see if there was any differences in the chicken. SL LLG claimed the chicken is more juicy. I felt there wasn't much.

As we were making our way to the train station to catch our train to meet Serena, our new found Taiwanese friend we met in Wu Lai a day before, we bumped into this poised looking auntie.

"這位同學, could you tell me the direction to this......" Well SL LLG's heart apparently fluttered. Perhaps I had just taken it for granted that people would call me 同學 that I did not realise that, but one could easily imagine how that 稱呼 was most coveted by the decrepit and aged, that obviously SL LLG's ears caught it almost instantly. In an almost dazed manner, he couldn't remember the street name that the auntie was asking for, and I was the one who in a matter of fact manner, fished out the guide book and start figuring out the direction. After which, the auntie was so grateful that she said, 來,我給你們一點東西. SL LLG thought it was some rewards or something but she took out two namecards instead. Ah lish to miooo, she's actually an Member of Parliament for the KMT, and also a lecturer of a university!

After this interesting encounter, we returned to Taipei to meet Serena. She gave SL LLG a Cape 7 original CD and that stunned SL LLG considerably since his friend Bro Ong had asked him to get but the CD is still not yet out in Taiwan. She was kind enough to take us to Taiwan's MOST FAMOUS beef noodle house and I tell you, once you try it, beef noodles will never be the same again!

11th day. A day of culture and consumerism

2008-12-09T06:52:00.000-08:00

九份 is a must see.

And that was what every guide books rave about. Since the movie City of Sadness 悲情城市 by Hou Hsiao-hsien's film came out, 九份is hardly sad. What with bus loads of chattering Hong Kong and Singapore aunties flocking the place, one might just feel so sad that the place is becoming just another tourist trap. Thankfully the aged streets still retain some bit of charm and not a lot of development has taken place there to make it look like our own Chinatown, which even my Chinese friend commented "這裡還比中國中國"

One of the stalls with the man in action - shaving away rock sugar to be wrapped later

For all that, SL LLG and I took a train and then transferred by way of a bus to 九份. Dark clouds were looming and being the agrophobic of me, I murmured that it might as well have rained and chase away all the tourists. To which, SL LLG swerved to look at me, and with some dramatic actions of saying prayers, asked the Great God to forgive what I said.

Apparently not. Before long, it started drizzling and everyone, including us was getting rather wet. But not before we had our fair share of sampling the various 小吃 including 紅糟豬肉, yam balls, etc. Knowing that we need to leave some stomach space for yum cha, we chose a tea house with a picturesque view overlooking the sea and the hills.

We chose this tea house! Yeh!

茶道 is our way of 修身养性 in Taiwan, so after the lady showed us the proper way to do it, SL LLG and I got down to tea business of 沏茶、赏茶、and of course 饮茶. With the drizzle advancing into a downpour, we could only count our lucky stars that I had wished for rain to come not another day. With warm tea on our hands replete with tea cakes, and the chilling weather outside, it was all just so relaxing. C'est la vie.

We were mindful not to leave the place too late as most 土產痁 would be closed by then. So despite the rain, we had to get our 鳳梨酥 and the famed 太陽餅 before the shutters came down. Of course I ended up buying more than those and we had quite a bit of a bag to handle when we board the bus to 基隆 where the Miao Kou 夜市 is Taiwan's largest and most famous.

We passed by this department store where there was a sign that highlighted how two thieves made away. Keep a lookout for them!

Unfortunately, that it being a Monday and a rainy one at that meant most stalls are closed and we just had to content ourselves with oysters/big intestines mee sua, smelly bean curd (for which SL LLG steadfastly refused to eat), 蠔煎, 蟹羹 and culminating in a bowl of 豆花 that had many stuffs going into it.

With a heavy heart, we took the train back to Taipei where we had our last 泡泡drinks (quientessential of Taiwan) in a stall near ur hotel. I had coke with milk, quite an ingenuous mix before we returned to our room to sort out all our crazy barang barang.

12th day. Home sweet home

2008-12-09T06:42:00.000-08:00

At 3.30 am in the morning and having slept for 2 hours, we were decidedly tired, but went ahead with making our instant beef flavoured noodles adding ready made hard boiled eggs and coffee.

It is time to say goodbye to this city that is full of 博愛.

Thankfully we were travelling with SQ, which allowed us to doze off (unknowingly). Somehow SQ breakfast was not really a big deal, but our thoughts of dining at the airport probably was.

Despite me telling Great Friend upteen times not to 接機, I had a gut feeling that I had better call her upon touch down. Indeed, the voice from the other line confirmed that Great Friend had been waiting just outside. After lunch and a few updates of the trip, Great Friend insisted on sending me back home (in the North) and then taking another bus back to the East. Sigh.... this silly girl.. just won't listen.

I wished I could just plonked down to bed and catch up on my sleep. The knowledge that I still have final theory driving test in the evening did not allow me to take forty winks with ease. With an hour sleep, I was well on my way to take my test and as you could imagine,

I flunked.

Fly, fly and away

2008-11-27T19:27:00.000-08:00

Now in the aiport with SL LLG (a.k.a Alishan tong2 lao3) at the free Internet terminal. I will be in Taiwan for the next 12 days, so unless there are free time on my hand, I probably will not be updating my blog till my return. So I seek the indulgence of the readers till I return on the 9th Dec.

For the past few days, whenever I replied to friends who asked me who I am going with for this trip that I am going with SL LLG, there is ALWAYS an inevitable question: Why didn't you go with HER??

Well, I always have to exlain that SHE is going to Vietnam with her friends just a day before I leave for Taiwan, and that we both have planned our own trips BEFORE we knew each other. So there you go, in case you care also thinking of the same question :)

Anyway, our (abridged) itinerary is:

28th Nov Arrived Taipei in the evening. Proceed to Xi men ding

29th Nov Around Taipei, including Longshan Temple and National Palace Museum

30th Nov Leave for Chiayi

1st Dec Depart from Chiayi to Alishan.

2nd Dec Go for morning rise. Which means waking at 4 am!!

3rd Dec Depart back top Chiayi for transfer to Tainan. Stay at Tainan to visit all the temples, old streets, tea house.

4th Dec At Tainan.

5th Dec Return to Taipei in evening

6th Dec To Wulai including Wulai Aboriginal Culture Village then take cable cars to Wulai Falls

Gong Guan Night Market

7th Dec Yangminshan
Beitou
Danshui 9Visit Fort San Domingo, British Consulate and Aletheia University

8th Dec Jiufen. To walk along Jishan Road. Then take bus to Kee Lung for Miaokou night market. Return to aipei by train

9th Dec Home sweet home to Singapore!
----------------------------------------

Jack and Jill went up the Jurong Hill...

2008-11-26T08:55:00.000-08:00

...to catch a meal for their stomachs fill,
...Jack slurped down, as the food went down,
...And Jill came smiling after.

Many Jacks and Jills have gone to Jurong Hill,
And that was how this Jack and Jill knew.

From others blogs,
and others talks,
So Jack and Jill climbed up the hill!

- A rather 三脚猫 poem by the three-legged cat.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Indeed, it was Jack's friend who told him about this Jurong Hill Teppanyaki restaurant when Jack's friend got attached in June. Rapshodizing how the place was a perfect place for 'pak tor', Jack was encouraged to bring his Jill there if he ever had his Jill.

So days wore on, and Jack finally found his Jill. But Jack had not forgotten about the secret hide-away. So he waited till Jill finished her NTU's exams before declaring the dinner as a form of post-exams celebration. Besides Jill is going to Vietnam the following day and Jack to Taiwan the next following day, so it's like a small little gathering at the top of the hill, at the top of their mood.

Jack wanted to know others' reviews of the restaurant, so he went to google and it came back a few useful links.

http://iamjoannatan.blogspot.com/2008/11/jurong-hilltop-teppanyaki.html
http://vodka-vanilla.blogspot.com/2006/05/week-before.html
http://tomorrow.sg/archives/2005/10/14/hilltop_japanese_resturant_at_ju.html

My dear readers, you might want to read these blogs and perhaps think of having a rendezvous with your Jack or Jill one day. Tucking away on top of a hill, the restaurant is rather secluded and so in 鹿鹿's words, "very best" for:

(1) A hot date, especially on a weekday when it is less crowded so you can have your own personal time and for which time seems to have stood still,
(2) A hot affair, because what on earth would your hubby or wife be doing on an ulu hill top unless they themselves are also there for their clandestine rendezvous too!!

Anyway, as Jack is a poor T-chir, and Jill is a poor student, they can only see posh cars whizzed by them as they made the ascent. But the indigents have their own little blessings. The climb gave them a great tummy-trimming cum pre-yummy-dinner workout, and the walk was most readily peppered with little chats and laughs. They were probably the only Jack and Jill who have actually gone to the restaurant by climbing!

So they settled down for Salmon Special, assorted sashimi, unagi, californian roll and some side dishes. The chef was friendly as there was only another Jackarella and Jillarella sharing the same table surrounding the teppanyaki cooking area, so he made some light chats. Service was rather good even though there was no service charge for the restaurant.

Some pictures for the curiosity-kill-the-other-cats:

Jack and Jill then adjourned to another area for complimentary dessert though it was a tad disappointing as it was only a scoop of ice-cream for each of them. After a slight drizzle and a walk up the spiral tower, they made their descent down the hill...

and no, Jack didn't fall down and break his crown,
and neither did Jill came tumbling after.

Russell Peters - Chinese vs Indian (making business)

2008-11-25T08:08:00.001-08:00

A rather old video, but since the Lulu fever has swept WL LLG and SL LLG, Russell Peters deserves a place in the three-legged cat's blog!

A sour grape a day makes the senescence go away

2008-11-24T08:04:00.000-08:00

At least that was what SL LLG piously believes...

If not, how else would this old swine suffering the equivalent of an Ophelia complex snorted how the luckiest guy on Earth forget his deportment in the face of pleasing his future parents-in-laws over dinner?

This the three legged cat can only put it down to a few reasons:

ONE. Real-time bachelors, and a particularly decrepit one at that, usually do not have the patience to discern for even a few seconds, those moments of alpha male scoring especially when it comes to securing the proverbial missing rib. Ain't he understand that La patience est une virtu??

TWO. Delusionists can be considered the next greatest form of "magic" after illusionists. That SL LLG has been looking into mirror mirror on the wall.... who is the youngest of them all... (to which SL LLG should have no difficulty belting out the 1960 Pinkerton's song) have afforded him a most distorted view that redefines prim and proper in his own way.

THREE. A lonely heart. Now Cupid is certainly no blame when it comes to this. For who is to blame to ask for only a 巩俐's lookalike for a mate when the bloke himself is just miserably as 抱歉 as

If you see fangs coming out my dear readers, you are hardly mistaken, for indeed "狗 (the female one- aka the b!tch) 嘴里长出猪牙"!

Meet da parents

2008-11-23T09:38:00.000-08:00

As friends of the three-legged cat would know, meeting the parents is one of those affairs that the cat has done/ will be doing. Has done in the sense that throughout the years in the tropical island education system, the cat has been quite an exemplary student that teachers usually had praises for the parent. Will be in the sense that now very soon, the cat shall be the one at the other end of the table, singing praises for his students next year.

But as far as today went, the cat has taken on another role in the second meet the parents session (the first was a supper after Lin Yi Lian's concert and everything was somehow not very formal)... . This meet da parents session is a little bit special. First, it was held not in the classroom but in a zi char restaurant where coffee pork ribs and pumpkin yam paste are the orders of the day. Second, the cat is there TO SCORE POINTS with the cat's goodest friend's parents (to ingratiate is too strong a word to use, but nonetheless almost there). So when the cat's goodest friend suggested that they adjourn to Geylang for durian (goodest friend's mum's fav), the cat gladly seized the idea.

The result? Another few smiles and recognition that the cat really knows its job well!

Kukup

2008-11-18T09:15:00.000-08:00

Despite having the bout of stomach flu, the three legged cat had enough of an audacity to test his stomach to the limits by continuing to go on the Kukup tour he had yearned to with Great Friend and his friends.

What a great trip it was despite the perpetual jams and the dizzying roads. There was even a point when Paul Baba had to negotiate a sharp turn to avoid an otherwise fatal collision with a lorry. Thankfully no one was hurt and the journey saw one of Mr G's friend drooling while napping!

The seafood had been over-hyped as the seaview had been over-imagined. But one could not rely on just the food and the view to come to a neat conclusion that the day trip had been most halcyonic. Thanks to Paul Baba's muttering of curses of other Malaysian drivers and Jasmine's mordant but clumsy attempts to deflate the ego of Mr G. that had punctuated the whole journey, they certainly added quite a great deal of colours.

When school starts next year, it's the end of the salad days in N*E as a great deal of work beckons. And even tomorrow Mr G. had to report to work to his posted institution.

Arr..chioooO! Blurp!

2008-11-17T07:58:00.000-08:00

That's gastric flu for you.. or rather me.

According to wikipedia
"Gastroenteritis (also known as gastro, gastric flu, and stomach flu, although unrelated to influenza) is inflammation of the gastrointestinal tract, involving both the stomach and the small intestine (see also gastritis and enteritis) and resulting in acute diarrhea.

The inflammation is caused most often by infection with certain viruses, less often by bacteria or their toxins, parasites, or adverse reaction to something in the diet or medication. Worldwide, inadequate treatment of gastroenteritis kills 5 to 8 million people per year,and is a leading cause of death among infants and children under 5. At least 50% of cases of gastroenteritis as foodborne illness are due to norovirus."

What first started off as a heart-burn feeling today morning manifested into vomitting and diarrhoea. I must have looked almost like a ragged doll by afternoon with minimal intake of fluids and no solid food. It still remains a mystery how I contracted the norovirus when I had been happy and kicking just yesterday.

Both Great Friend and Alex were fine even though we dined at the same restaurant. It could be pinned down to a case of misfortune. Funnily enough, I was pointing to Alex the Merlion as we walked past it just last night, and commented how Singaporeans have with good humour, used the expression "to merlion" to mean "to vomit". Essentially I have become a merlion today and a very bad one at that!

My conditions have elicited quite a myraid of responses:

(1) Greatest Friend had been most apprehensive about my condition, and offered to come down to the Land of the Hunks to look after me. Since gastric flu can be contagious, I requested Great Friend not to.

(2) My dearest sister remarked how wonderful it is to have this free slimming programme.

(3) My wonderful brother laughed in jest when my sis made that remark.

(4) Good old mum implored me to see the doctor and busied herself with making black sugar solution, which she claimed "detoxifies" the blood.

To which end, I would rather have chosen to gym out my avoir dupois, than to subject myself to this dizzying 上吐下泻 affair.

I could have easily taken up free membership for toilettes d'affairs considering the number of times that I have patronise it.

A quarter and two

2008-11-14T08:39:00.000-08:00

...makes twenty-seven.

An age that is not quite young, but not quite old either. But age 27 has caught on the imagination of others, with 27 Club referring to "a popular culture name for a group of influential rock and blues musicians who all died at the age of 27, sometimes under mysterious circumstances" (Wikipedia).

This macabre image was certainly not in Best Friend's nor Great Friend's minds last Saturday. Best Friend was waiting with bated breath what Great Friend had planned that Best Friend might as well have gone and read Charles Dicken's Great Expectations.

Trying to test the wit of Best Friend, Great Friend gave a card that carried a riddle. Thanks to the regular training by JJ Lin Jun Jie and sister BL who had given the Cat thousands of gifts wrapped in surprises and riddles, the riddle posed by Great Friend unfortunately proved too three-legged-cat for Best Friend Cat that they were soon cruising along to the Ferris within five minutes. But not without Best Friend first getting a wonderful briefcase of a gift from Great Friend.

With the camera's clicking away since this was the first time they were on that humongous wheel, they were soon on top of the world!!! If this was what Great Friend had planned to be, it certainly worked, both literally and metaphorically.... until a box of sublime strawberries dipped in heavenly Nutella as next offered by Great Friend almost drove Best Friend nuts with the pleasures of not just the sights, but now even that of the palette!

Well, it just didn't end there. At Woods restaurant in Vivocity, Great Friend was shilling how the restaurant scored the points of some food critics when the chefs there used charcoal fire to prepare their cuisine. With baked mozarella and mushroom, and then a fish main course, Best Friend and Great Friend couldn't agree more that Great Friend's judgment was marvellously fabulous. Perhaps, it might have been due to their peckish nature as a result of a slip in the planning which saw them getting to the restaurant later than planned that made the food so delectable, but certainly the whole ambience of the place is worth checking out. But Great Friend seems almost unapologetic about the slip, as all other aspects of the plan has been executed so perfectly and neatly, that a slip seems almost wanting to make sure the whole event is not just another Best Friend's dream. It was an effort by Great Friend to tell Best Friend that the surrealness experienced earlier is real.

Not withstanding a full stomach, Great Friend and Best Friend decided that coffee in Clarke Quay would be a wonderful ending to the evening. The mud-pie at Coffee Club was what they shared, and what they truely enjoyed... watching the mud pie topple and then attacking it with no mercy did not leave Best Friend and Great Friend guilty of the sins of loading their bodies with calories. And it was Great Friend at this time that really caught the Cat by its tail, when Best Friend could not guess what was inside a wrapped box that Great Friend flashed out for him.

It took quite a bit of giving of clues, that Best Friend could not enjoy ice cream due to his most sensitive teeth (for a most sensitive person, what do you expect) before Best Friend managed to squeal in delight "Sensodyne".... an answer that was almost a promise to Best Friend that they would have to go for Hagaan Daaz ice-cream in future. No excuse for Best Friend!!!

And what did I say about age 27 again? As far as I know, age 27 couldn't be better!

P.S. As competitive as Best Friend has always been, Best Friend is determined to outdo Great Friend when Great Friend's birthday approach next year May. To this, Best Friend already had in mind a grand scheme, one that would draw the Great Friend swiftly to concede losing.... *wicked guffaw in Mongolian style*

Bintan

2008-11-12T10:44:00.000-08:00

One day, Mr G and Good Friend decided to go to Bintan.

Mr G met Good Friend at Tampines MRT where they took a train and bus to Tanah Merah ferry terminal. Their exciting day began with their awe at the spacious and comfortable Mayang Sari room. But because Mr G had not slept much the day before and since both of them were early for their planned itinerary, they napped for a while before leaving for Pasar Oleh Oleh.

Enchanted by a particular sleepy restaurant tucked at a corner where there was hardly a soul, Mr G and Good Friend decided to fill their tummy in this refill station. By refill, it also meant a Bintang beer! It is usually not advisable for one to do a massage straightaway after a heavy meal, but the two went ahead anyway with a two-hour body massage and scrub. Both agreed the soothing head massage was a blast, but Mr G was actually secretly hoping that the head rub would not give him a literal post-massage hair-dropping experience!

Thereafter they returned to hotel to walk down the wet beach. Wait a minute, wet beach? Durrrr... but it was wet as it had showered mercilessly earlier and the sand was slightly cold to the touch. Sill Mr G and Good Friend thought that might have been a blessing since nobody came out from their warm little huts. Thus the entire beach was theirs. Until they realised later that they shared it with the mosquitoes!

Admidst the tiger balm that Good Friend was quick to offer to Mr G in their room for their itch, they realised they were losing their cup noodles eating time! Good Friend hardly ate anything while Mr G could have been easily mistaken as a part-time fire-eater when he gobbled down the entire cup within a min. Not that they would be disturbed by their hunger pangs later for they were totally floored by their mangrove firefly tour, what with all the river cruising and firefly catching (and releasing of course)!

Their stomach forgave them when their late dinner was settled at a near-forgotten beach side restaurant after the tour. Soon, iced wine in the hotel room washed down the entire fatigue of the day, and the day culminated with Mr G and Good Friend doing a Watson's facial mask that made them really really sleepy… What Mr G lacked Good Friend made up. It was the astute Good Friend who reminded the myopic Mr G to set the alarm clock lest they fell asleep.

Thanks to Good Friend's most enterprising thought, they were in good time for the breakfast. But the sky had hardly been doing them any favours again when they saw over the course of their meal, a most wondrous sky turning moody and then great, it poured....As if that was not bad enough, they missed the bus to Pasar Oleh Oleh as the call of the concierge eluded them. They could only content themselves by taking the internal shuttle bus to other resorts and checking out their facilities. If there was a silver lining, it was the conclusion that the resort they stayed was simply the best. And with this "best" word which they had continued to use to describe their whole experience, Mr G and Good Friend left Bintan for Home Sweet Home.

Scaring the 3-legged cat

2008-11-07T07:37:00.001-08:00

**From my.. eX-peren... I feel... ** that this post really scared the sh*t out of the three-legged cat!

Do not watch if you:
(1) DO NOT want nightmares, OR
(2) are working NOW late at night in office, OR
(3) going to take an elevator later, OR
(4) work in Raffles Place CBD, OR
(5) hate old women, OR
(6) are just plain scary (but not necessarily 3-legged) cat.

After all, one person commented in the youtube "f*ck you! now I cant go to the elevator in the condo from the internet cafe!".

Lol.... an absolute best way to encourage people to shave off some kilos through climbing the stairs.. but then again, who can promise that there is no hanging wispy white gowned Nightingale waiting at the stairs....

For some hard-core ghost-bustering, visit our gungho friends at http://www.rafflesplaceghost.net/blog/
where they do all the follow-up.

Best of Noose: Maid Trg Sch/Barbarella Beach/Lulu and Balls

2008-11-02T09:30:00.001-08:00

Got this clip after going to SL LLG blog.
My goodness, Michelle Chong's accentsss are so diversifying!!

Love letters

2008-10-30T10:40:00.000-07:00

Did they really say that?

Her: Ok, I think I will just remain silent and give my demure smile
Him: No no.. you are not going to do that. You should just open your mouth and show to the world that you have both beauty and brain.
Her: *chuckle*
Him: But after that, you can still flash them your demure smile

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There are not many occassions where I woul flip through magazines and pore through them in earnest, but reading SDU tri-monthly magazine can be a riveting affair. One of the pages gave a most edifying instruction of writing love letter. It would seem almost anachronistic for one to express oneself through hand-writing, but this practice stil retains its own little charm.

Someone blogged about how he wrote his first love letter to his crush at a tender age of 7 when he was in primary one. I find it hilarious, warm-heartening and pure all at the same time:

I love you SIng LIng
Please love me
I'll give you a eraser or a ruler if you love me

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Other love letters are:

I gently press my lips to yours and try to forget everything, gazing into your lovely eyes - I lay on your precious breast, rested my tired head upon it still. This morning I tried to gain calm and strength for the separation. Goodbye wee one, Lovebird, Sunshine, Huzy mine, Own!
- Tsarina Alexandra to Tsar Nicholas II of Russia, 1915.

It seems to me, to myself, that no man was ever before to any woman what you are to me.
- Robert Browning, 1846.

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Arachnid

2008-10-22T02:00:00.000-07:00

Scorpio are easily adaptable, determined, and instinctive. They are philosophical, powerful, and very intense. Scorpios tend to always get what they want.

They also tend to be fiery, with a sting in their tail, which leads to an exciting and passionate relationship. Relationships with Scorpio's won't be without problems though as they can be jealous, secretive, and compulsive. They are extremely loyal and emotional though, always wanting to prove their love to their family and friends.

Scorpio Strength: Passionate
Scorpio Weakness: Isolated

Scorpio Love Horoscope Compatibility

When it comes to relationships, Scorpio are most compatible with TAURUS & PISCES, a complimentary earth sign and a water sign. The complimentary relationship between earth and water brings about an understanding and easiness in a romantic relationship. Both compliment each other well and would create a deep companionship.

Source: http://www.romancestuck.com/astrology/horoscopes/scorpio-love-horoscopes.htm

Formula

2008-10-21T10:40:00.000-07:00

Different people have their own fomulae when it comes to finding their significant halves.

"minus 4 plus 2", declared my cousin many years ago. "Younger by 4 years or older by 2 years", he explained.

So for quite some time, I adopted this system. Almost quite chic if you think about it, as if one's fetishes with numbers haven't quite stopped at high school.. It's almost like one's life affair can be solved almost as easily as with a mathematically formula, and you can almost know whether your answer is right or wrong. But as years wore on, I began to revise this counting system. Make it "minus 6 plus 3", wherefore 6 is a multiple of 3, just as it was the case of 4 is a multiple of 2. My rationale is simple. Had it been minus >6 or plus >3, there is no end in defending myself against charges of paedophilism or aunti-fetishism.

But SL LLG could only bewilder me with his even more elegant formula. Now this is also another oddity of mathmos from The Other University. For it is not just how they are forever fascinated by the most quotidian of the state of the world affairs - as in that the angle of the wake made by an object in deep water is always 2arcsin(1/3), they are also interested in formulating key equations linking IQ, vital statistics, weight and age.

Let me explain further.

SL LLG's point is that his future wife must possess a few key statistics. Capturing the essentials would require the following formula:

150 < Vital stats + age + weight < Her IQ
But considering how stringent this formula is in its implementation, I suggested that if he still insists on this, his future wife might well be a solution to the following:

Let the latitude of his wife's geographical location wrt equator = x

The solution can be found only if they satisfy the following 2 equations:
x sq - 11 x - 80 = 0 ---- (1) and
dP(x)/dt > 0 ---- (2)

Essentially, as SL LLG ages (gracefully or otherwise), his bargaining power gets lesser, which would require that his wife be found either at 16 degree North (Vietnam) or 5 degree South (Indonesia), and the probability that this will happen [P(x)] will just go higher over time
dP(x)/dt >0

But, I am not so greedy. I will die a happy man if my gf is
(1) From reputable school such as Dunman High, TJC (Bonus if from LEP)
(2) Be effectively bilingual
(3) Knows her cocktail well
(4) A chiobu
(5) And most importantly loves me as much as I love her.

To heck with the formula, you stupid Cantabs!!!

JJ Lin 豆浆油条

2008-10-06T04:11:00.001-07:00

豆浆 really goes with 油条 !! At least that's our conclusion last night at Dhoby Gaut - 要一起吃下去味道才会是最好!

But some 豆浆 does not go with some 油条, at least that's the case for my best friend who had caught the eyes of a smitten girl. I shall keep their anonymity but it suffices to say that the girl was named after a season where leaves turn brown and everything was a romantic hue.

Bur romance was far from my friend's mind when he pleaded with me and his kakis to deliver him from his misery. This was a last ditch attempt since all his endeavours to show his indifference failed - she just don't get it!

Having been hounded repeatedly by her still, he decided to execute Project Winter Sonata... It became all the more imperative since he has received unequivocal signals that she wants to meet him and eat him on his birthday.

With that, I was tasked to deliver a crushing blow for her to beat a hasty retreat by leaving a message on his facebook wall.

Preferring to leave me to my fecund imagination rather than nstructing what to write, I penned,
"David and I suggested that you go to Dempsey Hill on your b'day since it's going to be a romantic hangout for first-time couple like you. Speaking of which, when are you going to introduce WenZhao to us huh?"

As I explained later, the first statement would propel her to ninth heaven if she thinks that she is part of the "couple" in question. But the second.. the mention of WenZhao, will unleash the power of heart-crushing palm (碎心掌)

Children's Day

2008-10-01T17:07:00.000-07:00

By this children's day 2008, I have already received:

(1) 3 accompaniments for Mamamia, Youth without Youth, and Painted Skin.
(2) Puteri mas durian puffs which come at the expense of 2 hrs and a slight fever from the rain
(3) A seductive smile with cool and demure disposition at Jazz @ Southbridge
(4) A cocktail evening at The Iguana
(5) A two-way "Will you be ...." and "Are you sure?" replies.
And finally, the best gift of it all,
(6) a most scented lavender

With it, October 1st will never just be Children's Day, China's New Year, or Hari Raya. It is Lavender Day.

Thank you for the Lavender.
I will cherish it and most importantly love it.

La voiture... La biere... La femme....

2008-09-28T08:49:00.000-07:00

Quote of the day
Low self-esteem can really debase a person to a level which one does not rightly deserve. Let's not shortchange yourself anymore. You deserve the best.

A black-and-white image retrieved from my memory stream saw my French tutor posing an interesting question during one of those tutorials in NUS many years ago - "Why are cars and beer in French feminine and not musculine?"

"Maybe la voiture and la biere sounded more cool than le voiture and le biere", my classmate offered.

After a few non, mais c'est interessant, we were eager to find out the reason behind that professor's playful smile.

Because they make men crazy, he quipped, that smile still plastered.

Yes, they make men crazy. (You must be thinking "Huh!?.. 这样也行?" ..... 是的. 这样也行)

It was a night of cars, beers and women - the mood of F1 racing, the intoxicating beers and the beautiful companions all around in that little jazz bar that seemed almost forgotten by the outside world.... until much later in the evening.

Some went for the cars. Others had a revelry of beers and car feel. Still, the luckiest of it all had all three, particularly if one has a drop too much and relishing the chill of the evening wind but finally ending with waiting in vain for NR7.

But this too, will soon pass...

And so that evening of the 27th Sept 2008, the curtains came down in the usual fashion of a great play, concluding the magical moments of the evening that had transpired. Where what had been savoured that evening, only in one's dreams can they be revived...

Chinese Literature

2008-09-25T20:02:00.000-07:00

小小词典 (Little little dictionary)

绝世: (verb) to cause the end of the world
美女: (noun) a beauty
Hence 绝世美女: the woman who causes the end of the world

黄蓉 (born in 1203, died January 31, 1273) is also a 绝世美女.

For the uninitiated, she is a fictitious character in 金庸's The Legend of the Condor Heroes (射雕英雄传), and is the the witty wife of 郭靖.

She is my most favourite character in Condor, and the reasons why this 美女 is so 绝世 are:

(1) A marvellously witty woman who uses her intelligence to support the man she loves - 郭靖.

When I was in primary school and reading Young Generation magazine, there was a story featuring a simple-minded fellow. He wanted to be intelligent, and was told to go to the mountains where he would meet a wise woman who would tell him where to get his brains. When he finally reached there, the old woman introduced him to a wonderfully kind-hearted and smart woman (who could be called a 绝世美女 in her own rights). Immediately, he saw it - marry a smart wife and you will be smart - (wonderfully meaningful even though I was a kid when I read this). So 郭靖 is lucky to have 黄蓉 who gives him advice in his darkest need and they always escape unscathed.

(2) 黄蓉 has strong 正义-ness. Which was why she was so endearing to 東邪西毒南帝北丐中神通. Despite her stoic feel, she sheds tears (e.g. when Hong Qi gong was injured) on occassions, and this reveals her woman-ness in her... her fragility yet her determination to overcome all odds (well, she found a clam that healed Hong Qigong) - simply charming.

(3) 黄蓉 is adept in 打狗棒法, and despite she being the first woman beggar leader in the beggar sect, she wouldn't mind running against conventions.

(4) 黄蓉 is super chio... at least in the eyes of both 郭靖 and the obnoxious 楊康 who wanted to taste the swan's flesh. But it may be aptly said that 楊康 learnt some 哈蟆功 from 歐陽鋒, so he is a quientessential 癞哈蟆 (sorry lame here)...

To 靖哥哥, she's his 蓉儿...

Wonder if 蓉儿 will travel from Tampines to Joo Chiat to buy durian puffs, then to Boon Lay for 靖哥哥??

I have to ask 靖哥哥 to see if he is lucky enough! This lucky bugger!!!

Mamma Mia! The Movie - Money, Money, Money

2008-09-18T01:42:00.001-07:00

Quote of the Day
"If my ideal girfriend is 100%, then she is 200%."

This song rocks! You should watch the movie and see the fantasies accompanying this song!

Mama-Miaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....

2008-09-16T23:55:00.000-07:00

Quote of the Day

"You don't really have to apologize if you lead me to the wrong way. Right or wrong way, I am spending precious moments with you. To me this is all that matters."
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Terrific! Mama mia has been a play which I have wanted to watch but the price tag of the seat seemed too prohibitive... at least that was the situation many years ago as an undergrad. Thus when the movie came out, it sent me on the high. But the evening and accompanying confabulations at AMK Hub with SL LLG ended rather late for us to watch it by the time we realise it was on screen. So that was a no go.

Almost like a blessing in disguise, Sharapova asked if I would be the beholder of a second free ticket. Had one dangle a piece of juicy meat over a starving bulldog, one would get the same reaction that I exhibited... only difference is that I don't bark. I merely bit meekly, but tightly... as the opportunity came.

The ABBA music in Mama Mia blew my mind. Chic, classy and cool.

On the same day, Sha gave me a book by Nicolas Spark - The Rescue. Since then, I have been swallowing it in my bus ride, train ride and idling thing. Painfully protracted in some scenes, the reader is rewarded with breathtaking relief towards the end.

Thanks Sha.

Sing to the dawn

2008-09-12T10:27:00.000-07:00

The computer screen revealed what I was looking for, and a smile came over my face.

"Slack like shit", I mused. "That's precisely why the words slack and shit begin with the letter S."

There were those occassions when I groaned under the towering weight of assignments in Semester 1, only to reap the profits later in this semester. Classes were so obscenely minimal that strangely, you just felt somewhat derisive of the whole thing.

But sing to the dawn it gave, for this opens a whole new world of possibilities with what I could do with all these free time. Naturally, gunning a driving license came to my mind.

Going out with friends also become a more easier affair, with BBQs, lunch and steamboat dotting my calender. Careful to watch the waist, cardio exercising is also dovetailed into my schedule.

Alas, "all these would soon pass", and to cite one of the timepiece advertisement, "不在乎天长地久,只在乎曾经拥有". Once the real working starts next year, all these good times would be a footnote to my life history.

Mindless

2008-09-06T08:43:00.000-07:00

The working world with its worth of exotica and discovery never fails to impress me with how much financial freedom it would confer to its participants. Having flirted with penury just last year with the bank breaking to pay for quite a few large ticket items, I had resolved to fattening my piggy bank the moment i started work this year. And save I did, and plans for a holiday this December seems to be impending.

For some strange reasons of sort, I felt wildly disorientated.... And I shall attribute it to the one week long school break that had seen the fully stretched elastic rubber being loosened almost too abruptly - I had a few mad weeks of dissertation writing and evening exams to take in concurrent with my teaching stint... with my workload dropping off a precipice at the end of August when all deadlines have been duely met... and culminating in teacher's day celebration and this proverbial one week break.

And perhaps that is because during those mayhem days, I had really intended to meet up with all friends and sms-ing them to say "hey bud, long time no meet. How's life. Hope all's well... and let's meet up sometime in Sept yah. Take care and cheers!".. giving the reasons that once the storm is over, I will be ready to meet them up over a meal for catching up to see how each others' careers, love lives, plans have taken to...

....and then I shudder to think that mine has been almost as stagnant, bland and insipid for the past few months with no news to gush forth, and almost fearful to hear that this friend is expecting and ready to become a first-time Dad/Mum, or that friend has just completed his scholarship bond and is manumited. I am just not ready for all that... I just felt I am what I was a year ago, save with a few extra pounds in my piggy bank. Nothing... absolutely nothing had moved forward. I have become rather predictable.

A breeze of bewilderment came over me. Sure, I have the financial might to pick out the IKEA furniture I fancy on with SL LLG to adorn my aesthetically-overdued bedroom... and I do savour the delectable meals at places I barely frequent, but for some reason not ready to take on the adult world by storm and confront all the responsibilities and customs expected of a typical Singapore urban male.

But I have to.

In a free tarot card reading session offered as a prelude to dinner last Thursday, I dismissed the part about what the cards say about my romantic path, but concur almost with no doubt what came out in the cards for other respects.. particularly of my plan when I hit the golden age of 30. The reader summed it all up neatly - While "this" is your comfort zone, better deals beckon. Go for it as you have always believed."

A smile came over my face. But underneath, a torrent of thoughts came forth. In probability theory, one would always assign a probability to each life event. If A happens with this probability, plan B might be shelved, and what happens after plan A is plan C and plan D. But how hard should I pray for plan A to happen if I do cherish plan B as much, but which I know plan C and D are equally important? But I was quickly reminded that this is tarot card reading after all, and as The Leap Years put it quoting William Shakespear, "It is not in the stars to hold our destiny, but in ourselves", I remain... somewhat optimistic, albeit in a subdued manner.

A chapter has closed. Another one opens.

2008-09-03T09:38:00.001-07:00

Last weekend sent a torrent of emotions - from maudlin to relief to forward-loooking and to nostalgia. For last Friday officially marked the last day of practicum in school. What can be more befitting to celebrate this occassion than having a wonderful teachers' day dinner on Thursday evening with colleagues as a school function, with the day only duly completed when some of us chilled out till wee hours of the night at IndoChine near Clarke Quay.

The following day was hardly any less eventful. After all, it's that judgment day for teachers - either rose or rues. It's that day among that 365 days where teachers sit to watch concerts, receive compliments (or don't receive) them and reminisce how the past few months have been. It was the same day that I had to lugged my goodie bags in the fashion of a slimmed and healthy albeit equally ruddy Santa Clause to my four classes, doling out my farewell gifts to them and made.. what else a farewell speech.

Equally well received with lots of gratitude were gifts and cards from my erstwhile students. What made them special was that they encapsulate both gratitutes (as teachers' day presents the opportunity) and farewells... with languages only reserved for those last days.

So merciful was the one week holiday that I had the time to read the messages they had left for me, and to do some pigging out of what has long been overdued. Below, I was feted to a wonderfully fashioned cupcake given to me by a Sec 1 kid until I realised I should take a shot of it. With a little bit of imagination, recreating the cupcake in your mind's eye should not be too difficult

Of course, I'm also paying tribute to those students who have given me some encouragement in my teaching stint, either through asking questions or just a wonderful smile along the corridor.

I said the holiday was a gratefully received one because the following Saturday I had to wake up in the early morning for a durian tour in JB! Being an absolute die-hard durian fan, no fatigue can stop me from this escapade to taste one of wonderful God's creations on earth - the spiky art of nature that mellows your heart when you finally manage to crack open it and savour its greatness.. Ahhhhh.... Seems like for the first human who came across this this durian, the tenacity to find flesh of treasures inside certainly pays off!

Indeed it didn't disappoint. Thus was my resolve that was made that I shall make this yearly pilmigrage to the durian plantation in JB... and stopping for a Thai body massage at Jusco shopping centre later!

To quote Great Eastern - Life is Great!

I've been missing!

2008-08-26T09:33:00.000-07:00

Yup, lost in that sea of assignment submissions and exams.

I found a new lease of life 2 days ago on Monday when I ended my last exam paper on Linear Algebra at Sing Poly. The prior week had been the most stressful week of the year. Not only was my part-time Masters dissertation due on Friday, I had to contend with Mon and Wed paper which I did not particularly prepare except the week before. Anyway, enough of raining on this subject...

Despite an impending last paper, I nonetheless had a laugh of my life when I went for the play Own Time Own Target (OTOT) in the Esplanade with JJ O 俊杰, ShiLong LLG and George. OTOT was part of the OCBC Singapore film festival and it starred Nick Shen together with a motley of other thespians active in the play scene.

I did not expect that there would be a collection of three plays spanning 3 hr 15 min! For a ticket that's $27, it's an absolute steal! When Dim Sum Dollies first started out, ticket price was very reasonable. Of course when words get around that the Dollies are not just mere talking barbie dolls, the price can only head north for future performances.. and by then people have no qualms paying big $$ to have their bones tickled!

Besides the authentic Sikh accent and demeanor, plus the highly visual glamorous display of men in drag in their various roles as aunties cashier, dance hostesses, and not forgetting journalist (Oh yes, Tricia Teo), here is one example among many of what they said that drove us to sheer madness:

Recruit, you think this is the President Star Charity is it?? If there is one NATHAN, it's you - COCKANATHAN!

Of course, expletives flew like water in Thailand water festival. Perhaps a bit contrived, but otherwise have this lil vicarious humorous effect in some occassions.

For those who would like to know what we watched, I have done a snatch text from http://www.singaporetheatrefestival.com/index.php/the-plays/own-time-own-target

(1) FULL TANK by Laremy Lee
In the midst of a desperate island-wide search for an *oops* escaped terrorist, Sergeant Leroy and his motley crew hijack a tank and go AWOL, embarking on a joyride through Singapore’s streets! Are they criminals or heroes? Or just plain crazy? Join them on a hilariously bizarre and uniquely Singaporean road-trip!

(2) RADIO SILENCE by Laremy Lee
An NSF officer and his wary driver are lost in the jungle, their unspecified mission taking them deeper and deeper into a no man’s land where rank can break down as quickly as the radio …

(3) BOTAK BOYS by Julian Wong
BMT is every Singaporean male’s nightmare. Or is it? Experience the heartache, the bravery and the rude shocks as Justin and his blur buddies sing and dance their way through Tekong! Will he find friends? Will his secret be exposed? Will he survive to become even more of a man?

I'm all the more convinced I should be going for more plays!

"Declination" email

2008-07-31T01:36:00.000-07:00

If I am out of the teaching job, I know exactly what to work as.... a letter writer (is there a specific name for such an occupation?).

My service shall range from swooning love letters to crushing "declination" letters. I had the chance to indite an email for my sis who was woo-ed by this guy. Cognizant that she would still like to maintain friendship with him, my masterpiece had to ensure that it has the right level of tone and consistency. So this was what I churned out within 6 minutes for my sis.

--------------------
Hello XXX,

Sorry for this late reply. Your email came as a surprise and I thought it deserved some thought in replying. Plus I was away on training earlier so I did not want to give you an email that was rushed through.

As you rightfully put it, a relationship is more than just feelings. It also has to include considerations of distance and other factors. Most importantly, a successful relationship entails some level of friendship in order to understand each other better at first.

Though I am officially single, I am also looking to start a relationship with this friend in the church whom we have mutual feelings for. I cherish your chivalry and helpfulness which are very positive qualities. And I always believe that God has made plans for everyone. Though it may not work out between the two of us this time round, I'm sure there is a girl out there who is worth every your time and care and appreciate those qualities enough to want to see them from you for the rest of her life.

I'm sorry if I have disappointed you. However, please continue this wonderful friendship as we had for the past few months for I cherish wonderful friends like you.

Best,
ABC
-------------------------------------------------

My sis showed her friend who later commented that my style of writing is similar to another friend of theirs who is an English major. When my sis told me this, I thought I was on cloud million already

The pantry world of our own

2008-07-17T08:40:00.000-07:00

A recent photograph tagged in facebook invited one inquisitve question of why new T-chirs have their tables in the pantry. To this, the 三脚猫 replied that contrary to what she thinks, the pantry in my schoooooo is actually the place to be if you want your working life to be imbued with laughter and good-natured jokes.

At least this has been the case for the past 4 weeks for me since being posted to do my T-ching. Today, my colleagues (all N*E, relief, practic^m and contract) decided to go for our nights out despite having done so the day before. Mr Y who had left his relief on Monday to do his reservist in the police force managed to find time to join us to catch up the happenings of the week. It transpired that just two days ago, some students have spotted him in his "Mr Policeman" uniform, and Mr Y had wished a hole would open to swallow him up.

Mr O and I had been irritating Miss M with our mock Malaysian accent. We managed to perfect some simple sentences, particularly putting the accent on the word "到". Seizing every opportunities, sentences that begin with "累到.......", "气到......", "饿到.....", 坏到....." dotted our conversations. Miss M was clearly unimpressed. So was her partner in crime, Miss C. (Incidentally Miss C teaches Chinese).

I am not the only 猫 family around. Once Mr O remarked to Miss M in their usual banter session, "老虎不发威, 当我是病猫啊". Aiyah.. but with his perpetual 唏唏哈哈 demeanour, we have always treated Mr O as a 病猫, and a really 病猫 at that........ until.... wah...

One day, in the canteen, we were having our lunch together, we heard an explosion with some reverberations that ripped through the air. Patently, it was not the sound of an inflated drink packet that was stomped on. Curiosity killed Mr O (the 病猫), the 三脚猫, and all the other lunch kakis. Miss M was quite concerned that the boys over at the corner was endangering others' life and urged us to go over and check things out. We were on two minds when...

a rabbit came.. or rather, this lanky boy walked past. Mr O called him out and made a motion for him to come over. With that simple smile plastered on his face, he advanced. Who would have known that the next few seconds the 三脚猫, Miss M, Mr Y and Miss N were to miss a heartbeat when Mr O transformed into a 老虎 and with an enveloping voice that has a surround system effect, he roared "Eh! You tell me what's happening over there". If the air had just been a little more moist, an electrical discharge would have jumped.

The roar brought the hapless boy swiftly to his knees, to which he stammered "I.... I..'m from sec 3A, and these boys over there.... they sec four one... take some dry ice and put in bottle then explode..." Clearly dissociating himself from those gangs of sec 4, the rabbit appeared just so small, so dimunitive.

"Ok, you can go", commandered Mr O, the ex-army officer.

Stunned.

"Wah... Mr O, never see you turn into a 老虎 leh".... and those past few weeks of boisterous kids who had been stretching you and you still believed never in raising voice.. First time leh.... Around the table, the disconcerted ones acquiesced almost immediately.

----------------------------------------

We must be getting extra high today when we decided to go to the city for dinner. Mr O (the-saintly病猫-who-refused-an-MC), and I, shared two $1 durians before leaving, and our blood was charged with glucose. Of course, Miss M grabbed this opportunity to say our mouths stank with methane. Mr O bore the greater brunt of the impact since he had been rubbing the wrong way up with Miss M most of the time, while the 三脚猫 has been completely snowed under work most of the time.

Anyway, we settled for a simple meal after a plea by Mr O to watch the budget and the body. Truth is he's more concerned about the former. Nicely ensconced in our seats, we began our confession sessions about our impressions of one another, peppered with banters and recounting of wonderful incidents. Turned out I am the most judgemental! Hahaha.... But they got their way when they had been relating me to Kim Jong Il, an MP aide, a "celebrity", and many others. To them, the three-legged cat has a common face just like items on a pasar malam!

Miss N brought her Taiwanese bf to join us later, and poor boy, he was completely clueless as we launched into our own world of jokes since the jokes were all very contextual. The classic ones are: Mr O's elaborated analogy of riding a roller coaster to the apex when the teachers croned "是你!! 是你!! 梦见的就是你!" in 甜蜜蜜; Miss M's in-your-face remarks (particularly the spelling of curiosity where she left no mercy in persecuting brutally all those who had wronged her) with her accompanying drama mama histrionics; Mr Y's tales of the light and dark as a teacher of a normal acad class and subsequently as a ma2 da2 who had to jargar some quarelling ah sohs and emo kids; Mr C's insinuation of the vertically challenged nature of Mr Ong; Miss N's quiet but fiercely determined nature of not letting the sisterhood down when Miss C and Miss M combined powers to put down the ma2 da2, the saint-who-never-MC, and the 三脚猫.
But it was a great night. Pity that tomorrow Mr O and Miss M are going to leave the school to start their NIE course. Left only Miss N, Miss C and the 三脚猫. Sighhhhh.......

Perspectives

2008-07-10T21:33:00.001-07:00

I'm sure you would have heard before that the same quality would elicit different responses or views, and this phenomenon is seen both spatially (i.e. different views formed by different people at the same time) and temporally (i.e. the same person would revise an earlier opinion). One of the NIE lecturers gave an example to explain this point - a girl may fancy a guy's generosity before marriage, but this very same virtue of generosity becomes a vice of profligacy after marriage.

I said this because I have known a colleague who has presented to me different perspectives, and I must say that it has affected my moral compass by a great deal. I'm not sure if you have this experience in your life when you talk to some people and realise that they are immensely principled. You walk away after the talk feeling extremely ruffled, and somewhat disconcerted. Well, that was what happened to me when I got to know Mr O, my colleague.

Mr O teaches Biology and Physics, and as a pre-NIE trainee teacher, we got posted to the same school together with other fun-loving temporary and contemporary teachers, a motley of contract, relief, ESE and practicum teachers. As part of the lunch kakis, we usually lounge in the canteen and chat about mundane stuffs as and when the bell and classes would limit us. One day, Mr O shared with us how he forgot about a test that constituted 20% of the module marks in NUS. Frantic, he emailed the professor, and the professor requested Mr O to call him.

Over the phone, the professor urged Mr O to get an MC. Mr O simply refused as he felt that he had no moral grounds to absolve himself from his foible of forgetfulness. My other colleagues and I were shocked. Trying to stretch him further, I posed him another hypothestical question - Had it been an exam, would you get an MC? His reply - No.

There was something about Mr O and his tone that you knew that he meant what he said. I felt really humbled.... as a man of weaknesses and kiasi-ness, I was brought down by this Monsieur O, who had stood by his principles and practised it. Perhaps, it was because he's a pastor's son, and so he had quite a formidable level of principles. When I asked in another incident, if he would print some school resources for his tuition kids (assuming he has some which hitherto he has none), he replied that it was unethical, and that he wouldn't do it.

It has been a long time since my moral compass has been adjusted. The last I remembered was when I met SL LLG in the army, who with his logical rationcination and religious devoutness, influenced me the way I have lived for the next few years of my life - in dealing with situations, b**chy people and scheming colleagues. Monsieur O really impressed me.

But no, I am still going to take MCs if I need to despite the emulation of the titan. As I argued, it is all a matter of perspectives. SL LLG and I believe in MCs if there are greater utilitarian values to the society, and we don't abuse the system flagrantly, but only at the most urgent state of affairs. But surely, Monsieur O has left me in awe in all sense.

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It is Mr Y's last day today as he had to report for reservist. Some of us xinjiao teachers decided that we should head to Sakae Sushi for a good buffet. With the exception of one, all of us were ready to flash that NUS/NIE student card to enjoy the discount.

Apparently, Sakae has changed its policy to discriminating the price by age. Alas, we had to pay the "adult" fare, but we gleefully tucked into our food nevertheless. After 3 hours of chatting and crapping, I left the place saying that I need to go jogging to burn off all the food dumped into that bag called stomach.

At 6+ and with quite a bit of a wind, I convinced myself that a short pre-run nap would be sublime. And a "short" one it was. When I woke up, groggy and lethargic, it was 9.15. At this time, I'm supposed to be meeting ZM MMG for the "Red Cliff" movie. Shooting out of bed, I dashed all the way down with that unkempt look, and certainly an apologetic demeanour. We decided to switch to Hellboy 2 as it was scheduled later. Thank goodness I made it on time. The punishing morning schedules of a teacher have begun to crept up onto me these three weeks.

That's Mr P for me.

"Chak-ba-lang" (Miscellaneous)

2008-07-05T10:21:00.000-07:00

Some snippets about me in past one week including today:

(1) Coughing quite badly. Mum has been quite concerned and reminded me to take cough syrup. That's the best part about Mum!

(2) Watched Hancock with ZH HHG on Friday night. Jon is overseas and my friends all have appointment. Damn xian... Hancock only so so. I wanna watch Kungfu Panda!!!

(3) Met my supervisor who asked me to revise my first draft. Got lotsa things to settle now liao..

(4) Did not go vegetarian despite being the "chu yi" (first on the lunar calendar). Cos in school and I forgot. Ordered Nasi Lemak and commented how good (and cheap) it was, then realised. Diaozzz...

(5) Attended wedding dinner at Laguna Country Club of a secondary cum JC friend. It was kind of special cos my friend and his wife registered their wedding a year ago, and they even have a daughter!! So today we see the couple AND her baby daughter. Interesting hor. And that ML LLG had to call me to say he forgot about the dinner, and said he's not coming.

(6) Returned some books to National Library only to realise I owe them about 2 dollar fine. Then borrowed some Japan travel guide book. Cant wait to go Japan with SL LLG and he said that his colleagues told him Agnes B briefcase very cheap there.

(7) Arthur the Medan boy returned to Singapore for a short while, so we met up other friends at Borders bistro. Order high tea set, and it's about $10 for any cake selection and coffee/tea. Very oishii desu ne, and reasonable price too cos the coffee is free flowing. I tried to exploit this by asking if I can change coffee to Earl Grey for second round and they agreed. WOW.

(8) Went for massage at People's Park. This masseuse start to do head massage for me = hair trauma. I felt I had just came out of a radioactive centre when some of my hair strands came off!! OMG. But the untying of stiff knots on my stiff shoulders was just too shiok.

(9) Another hair-raising (but not hair dropping) experience. Watched Incredible Tales last Sunay about how this demon actually eats unborn fetus in the Philippines. Got a twist in the story when it turned out that the pregnant woman did not get attacked, but rather it was her slim friend who just conceived. Scary siah.... It's on very Sunday 10 pm channel 5.

"Homed"work

2008-06-29T04:05:00.000-07:00

Can't believe that this weekend I am homed - The scheme of work has just intensified, so I had to spend my Saturday doing powerpoint slides and lesson plan. Thankfully, most of us had shared some resources so I don't have to create notes from scratch. And now I am taking a respite and blogging after working on my dissertation. Tuesday need to submit first draft and I am nowhere close to a quarter. But my supervisor has been more than generous and allowed me to give a shorter version since it is a first draft. I had to resort to cancelling ALL my tuitions for the weekends, something which I had not done for some time.

I must say I am considered one of the lucky ones who got pretty decent classes. A bit chatty, but that's fine with me. In fact, I would rather have that than a graveyard of a class. Mentors were excellent and they were kind of vested in making sure I learnt the ropes from them. From tomorrow onwards, I'll be doing classes.

There was this colleague who came up to me and said, "Ey, I saw your name and realised your surname is Mr ***. And I am finding it incredibly familiar. Have I met you somewhere?" To which I offered a few suggestions... Erm maybe NUS?? -no. NIE??? -no. Or were you from #JC?
To which her eyes lit up and she squealed, "Oh yes, your are that Mr *** who gave relief teaching for Chem. But sorry to disappoint you.. after you left, I dropped Chem cos that teacher who came in cannot teach and I cannot tahan oredi".

That's what I like about the profession - so many degrees of separation but which eventually draw people together. Nice.

Anywya, I'm going for some voice recording this weekend with ACRES. Playing the role of an elephant and a slow loris. Wonder how slowly I should speak as a slow loris, or how elephantine I should be in my voice quality. After all, SL LLG has anointed me as the person with the most elephantine memory - has full capacities for remembering all details to their finest exaction. Of course, I just recently chilled his bone when I recounted ad verbatim, the connection between his Mum, him and the Oxford single girl (let's call her M) I was trying to introduce. To reproduce the famous text I mouthed here which SL LLG had forgotten, this was what I said,

"Well SL LLG, so you still can't remember what you said to me that connects your Mum, you and M?"

With that inscrutable look, he only had to confessed that age has caught up with him and he had no recollections.

"Well, let me tell you SL LLG...
Previously you said before, 'My Mum would be easily contented with my brother and I just growing up to be decent boys graduating from a local university. She would never had thought that one would go to Cambridge, and now she would never even have expected that her future daughter-in-law has a degree no less than BCL Oxford' --- so there you go, SL LLG, the connection I promised to draw up between you, your Mum and M!", giving that smug look.

Stopping in his track, he heaved, "you really remember everything hor"

Of course.

Schooling

2008-06-23T08:59:00.000-07:00

'So, those long-sleeved shirts have to be worn eventually eh?', I mused as I ironed my "teacher's uniform".

And yes, school started today at one rather traditional school. Taking the bus and eyeballing those uniformed boys and girls, I realised in pure relish, that these kids have not known me as a teacher yet, and so would not be watched by some unknown students discreetly somewhere.

You never know if some of them would later gossip on even the smallest frivolous details as that this teacher listens to ipod on bus, and worst still, "I saw him board the bus in interchange, so he must have lived nearby". Of course, I always knew this school is quite near to my house, so I can always walk there, but since this is the first day, I shall take a bus.

I discovered there were more newbie colleagues than expected. I thought there would only be two of us in practicum, but mercifully, there are quite a number of others who are attached to the school either for relief or for ESE (enhanced school experience which one does before entering NIE). With cheerful dispositions, I knew right from the start that they would be my kakis in the next few weeks, though my practicum term is longer and I would outstay them.

Nothing much about today really, so we left the school at about 2. Thankfully, all classes end by 2 for me, so that's really nice...

Wait, hang on -- Am I really a teacher already? Can't believe time flies.

That quaint and lovely place

2008-06-17T09:43:00.000-07:00

As a secondary student and whenever my bus passed by Jack's Place in Ang Mo Kio, a longing thought would come to my mind that one day when grow up, I would have save enough money and procure a simple meal for myself at Jack's Place.... for by all standards of a HDB boy, a Jack's Place is a Jack's Place is a fine restaurant.

That thought mysteriously vanquished, only to be replaced by the more affordable Marina Bay alfresco BBQ @ $10 per head. Never mind the dripping oil and MSG laden stock, it's a commoner gathering ground for students.

And yet today, SL LLG and I in our quests to find a nice comfy place to chat about his trip to Bangkok (he called it "Bangcan't" though can't isn't supposed to be spelt this way...see post-script please). Before long, our feet took us to the doorstep of the hallow grounds of Jack's Place.

That sweet little place. Of course. To SL LLG, this outlet was also his first Jack's Place visit. What make this a wonderful chatting ground was the right amount of white noise in the background. Not too many dining guests to interfere with our confabulations, nor too little guests for our conversations to be overheard. Another thing is the prices of the food. If inflation has reared its ugly head, the cost of Jack's Place food has certainly walloped it down. Service is just nice, with a homely auntie who would causually top up our water from time to time.

What else was there to stop us? Words left the lips just as easily as thoughts arose from the germinal minds, so that the topics over dinner spanned from how to pronounce plagiarism correctly to what is a palate cleanser to how does a brassage brings about comfort. In the words of Dr Irina Spalko to the alien, "I want to know everything"... that thought dominated our evening... just that only SL LLG has the alien look!

P.S. The forbidding word of a can't (as wrongly spelt again) as used by SL LLG, is all but crude, when we consider that this word is a critical and prominent component to an important twist in the novel and film, Atonement. For Robbie wrote to Cecilia, "In my dreams, I kiss your cunt, your sweet wet cunt. In my thoughts I make love to you all day long." Bearing in mind that Atonement is considered one of the best novels of Ian McEwan, he has certainly avowed how the English Language should endow this word its utmost reverence. Of course, this does not elevate the status of any Beng, Lian and Huay who have wantonly (no pun intended) used this word in their myraid versions and dialects.

Pig-out in remote hide-outs!

2008-06-14T21:18:00.000-07:00

True to Jon's words and much to the delight of the food-maniacs moi and ZH HHG, getting a driving licence means we are no longer restricted to venues close to the MRT lines nor to the midnight strike that even the proverbial Cinderella fears. Not that I got mine which would probably be next year, but it suffices if a good friend has one, and even more impressively, a car!

Last night's escapade to Robinson at Raffles City to grab the no-GST shopping opportunity, then to Chomp Chomp for some serious supper that really got me excited at the choice of food attests to one thing which I have always believed but never got the chance to experience that -- When you can atasly travel to far-flung places for supper in a car -
You have arrived! (or should I say Jon has arrived!)

Since I have NOT got my CYMA watch and any Car (only hybrid cars please), I can hardly claim to stake a Claim that I have those six (last time was five) Cs. But does going to China count?

And so as I was saying, going to remote places to Chill out seems to be an obsession of Singaporeans that Sunday Times (Life Jun 8, 2008) even had a page dedicated to name some of the hot chill-out (sorry for the oxymoron) places to visit. I decided to immortalise the places in my blog here:
In the North
(1) Beaulieu House
117 Beaulieu Road, tel: 6257-9234
Open: 11.30 am to 2.30 pm; 6 pm to 11 pm (Mon-Thur)
11.30 am to 2.30 pm, 6 pm to midnight (Fri & Sat)
10 am to 11 pm (Sun)
Getting there:
Drive (So excited at this word!!) to Sembawang Park and park at Carpark No. 1. Then walk about 100 m to the sea.
About the Restaurant:
This restaurant facing the Straits of Johor is housed in an 8000 sq ft pre-war building, which used to be home to the most enior British naval officer in Singapore, Vice-Admiral Geoffrey Layton, from 1940 to 1942).
The eatery serving Western and Chinese dishes, has been in existence since 1981 (Year I was born!). in 2004, owner Lim Hock Lye, 54, expanded its premises to include an alfresco area that is now a popular watering hole.

(2) Sunset Grill & Pub
140B Piccadilly Road, Seletar Airbase, tel: 6482-0244
Open: 4 pm to 11 pm daily except Tuesdays
Getting there:
From Piccadilly Road, turn into Lambeth Walk, Hampstead Gardens, Western Avenue, East Camp, then drive all the way to the Republic of Singapore Flying Club (Aiyoh, so convoluted!! but I like it this way!!)
About the Restaurant:
Set in the heart of the Seletar Airbase, it is perfect for plane spotters (though in my opinion, it is also perfect for couples, married or dating!! BL sis, please take note hor!)
Even the drive in is scenic: You pass a number of black-and-white colonial bungalows, and the whole journey is akin to travelling through a World War II move (Wah! For history buffs like moi, this is abs fantastic!). Anyway... to continue typing...
The grub is Western, or American, and the spicy buffalo wings are a must-try (my insufferable commentary again: buffalo got wings meh?!?)

Since I live in the North, I shall spare my fingers of typing out the remaining 12 places. BUT i am keeping the pages and you can also dial me to ask for the remaining places!

CYMA and the City

2008-06-09T22:04:00.000-07:00

The sale is now on!

And so is my hunt for watches. After a few years of cheap Pasar Malam watches (I'm easily contented you see), I've decided that it is time to own my very own real decent watch.

At this point, I am reminded of the squeal that Louise let out when her boss Carrie gave her a Louis Vuitton handbag as Christmas gift in Sex and the City and quipped "No more rentals..." "OMG, I finally have my very own Louis Vuitton!"

Thanks to the wide circle of friends I network, this friend said he knows of another friend working in City Chain and so would be able to get the watch at staff price. Excellent!

A friend of mine once commented "A watch speakth volume about the character of a man".

So presenting to you, ladies and gentleman, the watch that reveals everything about my character!

And what does CYMA got to do with Sex and the City besides the parallel that the watch elicits in me in the same way that the LV bag did for Louise?
Nothing. Haha.. I just want to make a point that Sex and the City is worth watching and is nothing like the sleaziness, bitchess and rauchiness that some of my friends claimed to be.

It's more than those. Armed with smuggled Long John's crispy chicken set and well ensconced in my seat, I was feated to a very Americanised introduction of the four characters - Carrie (herself making the introduction), Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte. Americanised in the way that the introduction is very forthcoming, and the very no-apologies-in-your-face way of how the four women lead their modern lives.

Careers, sex life, friends - the ingredients of a grown up woman living in New York City... all these four seem to be in well control, but as the film would mean to show, affairs of marriage and love are the matters that they would self-righteously defend (or reject) only to be defeated by themselves. Now if this doesn't make any sense, there are two possible reasons - (I) My English is bad or (II) You haven't watch Sex and the City!!

Back to Earth

2008-06-04T10:34:00.001-07:00

It seems that the three legged cat has not mewed for long... or am I supposed to return to RoARRRR!!??

It's been pretty hectic period these one month when all the assignments collapsed into one black hole sort of phenomenon that sucked my energy dry... Not anymore.. been on the nuah mode for the past one week since school holiday starts. Well actually school hols have already started for two weeks but the first week still saw me in a frenzy to submit assignments that have deadlines at the end of the month, and later spent the weekend attending a camp.

Anyway, for no rhyme or reason, Cate Blanchett has caught my imagination when I caught Indiana Jones. First, it did not occur to me that Irini Spalko was played by her... Imagine the shock I got when I realised that Cate Blanchett is actually a blonde, starred as Queen Qlizabeth in the movie Elizabeth and also in Lord of the Rings! TIMES actually voted her as top 100 most influential woman. Anything more I would faint.

They say that the eyes are the windows to the inner world. I just love the gaze that Cate has... that steadiness which soothes the insecurity in me. Haha....

As what I would do to all thespians who bewildered me, I check out their quotes. No exception for Cate Blanchett:

"You know you've made it when you've been moulded in miniature plastic. But you know what children do with Barbie dolls - it's a bit scary, actually”

"If you know you are going to fail, then fail gloriously"

And of course my most favourite:

"I’ve got the ugliest hairstyle I’ve ever seen. If that doesn’t send signals that she’s the villain then there’s no point. Once I got into it, I actually found it quite liberating playing a really bad girl because you can sort of do anything you want"

The Other Bolly Boy

2008-04-20T09:21:00.000-07:00

If blogging is a luxury for me nowadays, watching a movie is sublime.

And I wouldn't have done it if not for the fact that ONE, I have the company of my friend Anthony (including a vegan dinner and a slew of intense confabulations about dissertation ideas), and TWO, The Other Boleyn Girl is starring the vegan and Harvard-educated NATALIE PORTMAN! (It is the latter quality that makes me swoon over her with salivation uncountable)

Scheming as she was in her role as Anne, it only make her all the more endearing as a protean thespian capable of redefining bimbo-tism. Adding to the list of examples that women with looks can have brains and acting professionalism all at one, it doesn't matter whether The Other Boleyn has inaccuracies in its historical account of King Henry's infidelity. As far as I am concerned, that this show is biased in its portrayal towards Anne, and which only through this would Portman's thespian skills be shown in its full glory was what all matters to me.

So, go watch The Other Boleyn Girl, even if you have exams in a week's time, innumerable NIE assignments, 4 tuition kids and having to attend three evening classes!

sin square + cos square = Onnnnnnneeeee (*ooohh)

2008-04-08T08:00:00.001-07:00

..(gasp!).... x = -b +/- (gasp...) sq root b square (gasp...) - 4ac over 2 a.

Yes... and ooohhhh...

1 + tangent square = (gasp) secant square..

No, this is not recited by an industrious student in a math formula memory marathon, nor do you hear these strings of esoteric verses punctuated with gasps in an exam hall.

You are more likely to hear these in a hotel room, and recited with utmost passion by Shilpa Lee pulling out (no pun intended) no stops to add a bit of curry in the steamy room.

In case you are wondering who Shilpa Lee is...

Shilpa Lee was born Sufiah Yusof in Malaysia

(Just as Annabel Chong was born Grace Quek in Singapore)

Born to a scientist mother and a mathematician father, Sufiah was hothoused by her father since young. She made international news when she was admitted to Oxford to read math at the age of 13. One can imagine the intensity that her parents subjected her through, and it was no surprise when I read that she would wake up in the morning to do breathing exercises and then marathoning math questions in a chilled room (cold temp purportedly improves concentration. My NIE experience doesn't seem to agree with me, anyway..). Apparently, punching helps, and her father would punch her and her siblings in the wee hours of morning to wake them up.

Information about her became quiet for a while until news broke out again of her marriage at the age of 19 to a law student, Jonathan Marshall. Singapore bore some of their footprints as they came here for a few months, only to use this time to divorce.

Then she disappeared from the public's eye, until she was found again by a journalist.. in a hotel room. This time round, she again became the spotlight of international news when she was found to be working as a high class prostitute, and using the money she earned to pay for her Masters degree in economics and her rented accomodation in Manchester.

I read with interest the following take from the Straits Times (April, 7, p 17)

"People think escorting is sleazy and terrible, but I don't see it like that. I've always had a high sex drive- and now I'm getting all the sex I want - and guys are much better in bed with an escort than a girlfriend... my clients treat me like a princess. One guy took me shopping on Bond Street. He bought me a beautiful black Gucci dress for £700 and then took me to Selfridges, where I could pick a handbag I liked"

("And later that night, she had no qualms about repaying his generosity")

"I have studied so intensely for so many years, I want to have some fun"

She denies her education as being wasted, saying her mathematical abilities is a big turn-on for some clients.

"I have men who are thrilled about my passion for mathematics. One made me recite equations during sex"

Life isn't fair isn't it?

Yusof's rate is 130 POUNDS/hour for mouthing math formula (though her mouth can be more versatile now)

I also spew forth the same maths formula to my student, but my rate is only 50 Sing dollar/hour. Guess it's all about what clients are you talking about.

Perhaps, this is what I call Python-gory Theorem:

Whether it is:

a square + b square = £130

or:

a square + b square = 50 Sing dollars depends on who you are!

P.S. Incidentally, Sufiah's father is now in jail for outraging the modesty of two young girls. See how warped his world is!

A Midsummer Night's Dream

2008-03-11T09:28:00.000-07:00

Love potions do exist in this world, though sometimes they are not quite that tangible as we think they are... but somehow they are there and they work.

A swinging bachelor friend MDK has been on a "passive" lookout for a potential since his banking job does not quite give him the active time to do so. After attending a lunch whereby a friend of his introduced a girl to him who totally sang a different tune using her ass while he harped from his larynx, and making just so many faux pas, MDK was left convinced that no-one could do a better job than the professional moi.

So over dinner one day many months ago and knowing that I have this exclusive cache of high net-worth eligibles (excluding myself of course since I am THE liaison middleman), I decided that I would introduce this Literature lady from Yale, JO. After all, MDK left Tokyo University as an economist, so a dose of dissimilarity should size up whatever bonfire there is.

Upon seeing the photo, MDK's comments came fast and furious (albeit in an honest way), "Aiyoh..Yi yuan's sister" (As you can imagine, Yi yuan was quite lacking in the looks department), "otak on two chopsticks", etc etc...

Oh give me a break.

The propaganda part of me decided to work its charm in the ensuing few months. Using the highly acclaimed WL LLG "NODA LTYF" teachniques, MDK was left in great angst over his singlehood and instead started querying abt JO. As if in the manner of an explosion, MDK started to really pass extremely positive comments about JO despite seeing the pictures again, and wondering aloud how pleased his mum would be on bringing her home.

I can only scratch my head. Calmly, I told him to watch "A Midsummer Night's Dream", whereupon, a love potion has been accidentally used forth, and I really wondered if this was the case....

"Having seen Demetrius act cruelly toward Helena (an ugly girl), Oberon orders Puck the mythical creature to spread some of the juice on the eyelids of the Demetrius. Instead, Puck accidentally puts the juice on the eyes of Lysander, who then falls in love with Helena.

Oberon sees Demetrius still following Hermia (the chio bu) and is enraged. When Demetrius goes to sleep, Oberon charms Demetrius' eyes. As a result, now both Demetrius and Lysander now fight overthe ugly Helena instead of the beautiful Hermia.

Helena, however, is convinced that her two suitors are mocking her, as neither loved her originally and ill-treated her"

As far as I know, MDK has defintiely been charmed by my propaganda!

--------------------------------

Digressing to another issue, The Leap Years which I caught today was delightfully indulging. Catherine Lim's novella and short stories have always that organic home-grown feel, and while not all have pleasant endings, the nasty ones are really a reflection of the realities.

The plot unfolded with that juxtaposition of traditionals and moderns, the former being how the protagonist Li-Ann buying her beliefs from the soothsayer who as if in the manner of fact, read her fate like a book. The latter would show how the kind of romantic love that Li-Ann was pursuing, encapsulated all the effrontery and boldness of the fairer gender in expressing their love. No one scene was too maudlin or too light-hearted definitively, for there were sobs of tears from the girl sitting on my right and guffaws from others sitting at the far end.

Confronted by the excessiveness of the uncertainties of love and fate lies the paradoxically convulatedly simple fate that Li-Ann would go through, which even she conceded towards the end that she "had waited far too long for an answer that was known 12 years ago". The audience was left in gasps and suspense when Li-Ann had to make socially unconventional choices, but the audiences wouldn't want the plot to be otherwise as well. Wonderfully nostalgic from the view of the characters, I strongly encourage you to watch it.

A hair wreck!

2008-02-25T05:55:00.000-08:00

One should never be a bit too adventurous and explore new things especially if it has to do with one's image. I learnt this the hard way.

Feeling that my hair has become somewhat a bit long behind, I desperately need a hair trim. As I passed by Boon Lay station, I was partially on the look-out for salons which might answer my call. I seemed to have it my way, as a small little promotion sign soon caught my attention and it said, $7 for students.

Thinking it was really a real deal, I stepped in and confirmed that NIE students do get the promotional price.

I already thought I did explain that I only wanted slopes for my sides and back, but this obnoxious "barber" (I soon realised a saloon ought to have better trained stylists) soon gleefully found his way into shaving a large part of my hair off, and proceeded to style it (or should I say salvage) when the deed was done. I nearly died when the boy in the mirror stared back at me.

This buffon barber of fleet street must have realised it himself that the haircut was shitty through and through as he said even before my mouth opened, "Ermmm... i'm sure you must not have been used to this new style hor?"

WHO ASK YOU TO GIVE ME A NEW STYLE??!!!?!?!?!

And tomorrow I had to take a mug shot for my lecturer who will keep the pictures for records.

Of all times, and of all place...

Never ever again!

NODA

2008-02-23T08:21:00.000-08:00

It transpired over an evening coffee on Valentine's Day with SL LLG where I was grousing how the day was all about people trying to outdo one another. As you would appreciate, in NIE where trainee teachers are pseudo-students with a big wallets, guys and girls were armed with their "I'm off the shelf big time" by having big balloons, giant bouquets, humongous teddy bears, enormous chocolate kits etc etc... with no apologies that they have been the winners and accentuating the fact that size does matter (I do not need to repeat that their balloons are big, bouquets are giant, teddy bears are humongous and chocolate kits enormous, which is essentially what I am doing now)...

Anyway, as soon as I finished class in NIE, I zipped to the other campus for evening class. As you would appreciate, NUS students also believe in "If you have it, flaunt it" mentality. In an almost deliberate manner, some girls came into the class halfway through the lecture, adorned like a Christmas tree except that there are balloons and big bouquets.

If you think that I am just jealous of these people, you are half right - where do their bf get all the $$ from? I assume they must be damn rich or damn V-day trapped. Either way, it would have blown a hole in my wallet if I indulge like these people... then again I have no one to indulge on.. haha.. so it may not be a bad thing after all.

As I met up with SL LLG, the propaganda part of me started to scare the ShiL out of the Loong. I reminded him of the NODA conversation we held a few months back. Then, starting almost innocently with a question, "Have you heard of this organization called NODA?" SL LLG was most perplexed. I explained that it is an acronym for "No one dies alone" and it is an organization started by some nurses who would stay around some moribund patients so they they do not die alone. Obviously, only those without kin would render the service of NODA. This immediately sent SL LLG a shiver down his spine.

But he was astute enough to use NODA as his defense weapon when his ingenuous students asked in a matter-of-fact manner earlier in the day whether he would be lonely and friendless in his old age (Students nowadays are so resourceful - whether you are single, eat Ferraro Roche choc, has a blog, travel to Vanuatu, live with your mother, has bad relations with other teachers... they read you like a book or should I say stalk you as if you are Edison Chen)

Anyway, despite this smugness in deflecting the students' sugar-coated realism, SL LLG was crumbling inside. But I assured him that he wouldn't have NODA knocking at his door... After all, I would be at his deathbed singing hymns and seeing him take his last journey!

Pretty disturbed

2008-02-17T09:00:00.000-08:00

Made a phone call on Friday to a friend, MS whom I have not kept in contact for long. The intention was to ask to see if I could arrive at her house earlier than the rest who are also planning to visit her that evening. The reason for the visit? One of my friends, DW said she had a brain op last year and it would be good to drop by to see how she was coping.

The thing is, DW did not impress upon us enough how serious the condition MS was in.

The phone call nearly left me in tears. What came from the other end of the line was a weak, feeble voice speaking very slowly, a voice which most could easily recognize as coming from a half-paralyzed person.

What happened to the once bubbly MS? Remembering MS as a tremendously witty girl from RGS with the all too natural sincere heart, she has not been given the kind of life she should live for.. What made me sank further into distraught was after she revealed that it was not convenient for me to come down as her granny has just passed away. This is double whammy information for me. A nice girl who has been wasted to that level and now having lost a granny in CNY period....

That was it. I decided to go straight to the wake. Inside me, I had the most dreaded feeling of how she would look like. I imagined half her hair shaven clean with an exposed skull. Certainly I was not prepared to see a beautiful, intelligent girl being reduced to that state.

Arriving there, I was greeted by the relatives. MS was still at home and I got some chance to learn more about her. She was a "hopeless case" as deemed by the doctors, but one matron pleaded with them to try their best. The docs did, and a miracle came. Not only did she recover, she was able to have some recollections of the past and was even able to use her fore limbs.

Soon she arrived in a wheelchair.
Bracing myself, I turned my head..

Phew! It wasn't so bad. She still looked equally radiant. The hair had grown back, and save for putting some slight weight, she was still as MS as ever.... Nothing was lost.. her smile was there.. her cheerfulness and optimism continued to shine beyond her disability.

We spent some time chatting and catching up the good old days... She still remember the huge termite mound which we took pictures with. And yes, she mentioned the many Indian children we took picture too. Her recollection was simply impressive, and it was just this goodness of sincerity, of kindness, of nature, of children.. that makes her as endearing as she was to all of us.

Time flew while little conversations were made. Her pet hermit crab in a tank made her charged up about it and she was telling me to quietly observe it. She was eager to introduce ALL her relatives to me...

MS taught me the ignonimities of life. Sure, I have read many books, Chicken soup for the soul, etc... but this was a friend whom in my entire life, is the first to have experienced this transformation. It has never felt so real. Another friend who called me to arrange for a gathering told me she cried after speaking to her on the phone. But I'm determined to bring as many people to visit her as much as possible. All of us want good things to happen to MS. She deserves it and we all think so.

Creepy!

2008-02-12T07:32:00.001-08:00

This one put Singapore on the world map, all for the wrong reasons! Wouldn't have heard about this antics by Steven Lim if not for the reporting made by the media.

What was funny was that someone was trying to smear Steven Lim's name by coming up with an alternative video under the same heading of "STOP BULLYING EDISON CHEN! 不要在欺负陈冠希了！" Scroll down to read more about it! If you think you have met a gila one, you obviously have not met this one!

Good imposter!

2008-02-12T07:30:00.001-08:00

At last Steven Lim has found his partner for life who's willing to yi chang yi he!

Can I have a cup of tea please?

2008-02-05T08:13:00.000-08:00

SL LLG started to feel the forlorness of the great bachelorhood towering over him and before he knew it, he had proceeded to call the most 讲义气 of his friend 席 for a night chat - the indispensable WL LLG. After all, this luminary shares the same Myer Briggs personality as Oprah Winfrey, and any exigency for a listening ear is always obligated.

The first question posed to SL LLG during our consultation session was, "Are you single?"- to which SL LLG gave the most inexcrutiable look that deserved nothing less than pity, before nodding his head in reluctant resignance.

"Then you must be ready to mingle!"

Shilpa Shetty once famously told the Queen of Britain, "I am single and ready to mingle"

Grateful for the company, SL LLG treated me to Chai tea at Coffeebean, which was a refreshing brew reminding me of the Far East spices that were highly sought after by the East India Company. But that was many years ago and if I had been Raffles making my voyage to the Far East, I guess I would ask for a head and shoulder massage in Bali before another corporeal experience at the beach. Anyway....

We spoke of how the commencement of work and the financial independence that accompanied it could leave you thinking... really thinking about your priorities, your desiratums, your reconciliation with failures, etc.. and they could lead you to heave a sigh of "O' how mundane life is" or "What a long journey ahead to do all these". I guess that is the reason why people change because they realise that what they hold dearly before are not quite as important.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An Oprah trivial: Oprah was interviewing a vegetarian on one of her shows in 1996 when she commented that what she heard "just stopped me cold from eating another burger". The price of beef dropped over 10% the following day.

A WL LLG trivial: WL LLG had such an elephatine memory that he could pull out details of past confabulations held with SL LLG with such great accuracy that he left SL LLG cold when he recited all of the things ad verbatim that SL LLG thought WL LLG would have forgotten.

Mocha anyone?

2008-02-04T07:53:00.000-08:00

The acerbic aroma of mocha can be piquant, but what piqued my interest most was mocca.com.
Day in day out on the bus to NIE campus, the advert for mocca would either show this pretty decent looking wench or this flesh-proliferated beefcake calling in entries for Valentine's Day video.

So with this, I decided to make a stop at the website, and were simply in awe of the type of ads that blatantly sell off whatever wares they paddle, if not with a hint of clumsy subtleness in their message - "Pretty SG Cheryl" or "Fiona Discrete 21 massage". This one got my vote for the most brassy ad - "HK Maggie Q Massage @80. Description: HK actress Maggie Q lookalik providing massage".

Liddat also can. Then for me, it will be "HK Daniel Wu massage @ 8000000. HK actor Daniel Wu lookalike providing massage". I wonder why there are so many pseudo pirated copies around. $80 some more. Chey!

Business Rival

2008-02-01T20:26:00.000-08:00

The breeze was brushing through my limp body when my phone registered a gentle chime. Being roused by many of my fan 席 is workaday and I would usually not be too bothered, but it was the message that was not.

Getting out from my bed, I read the message that instantly froze my heart and my mind became clear-headed in an instant..... for the message portends that the world's stiffest competition could potentially start.

It read, "Yo bro, did you pose for NUS fusion poster?"

Out of courtesy, I replied no, that wasn't me.. maybe it was someone else.....

The unnerving realization that there is actually someone out there who could possess a face that has a proximity to my 名模's prepossessive countenance and mien sank in. As the proverbial Michael Porter from Harvard Business School describes and which many business theories still continue to refer to it, there are five key forces that determine (including threatening) business competitiveness. One of them is product substitutes. Of course Forest Rienhardt, another HBS fella suggests a way to fend off competition from substitutes and that is to making systemic changes that re-characterize market competition.

Though such ideas would take some time, I shudder to think of how my mini-me lookalikes would use my face, or rather his face but ten times cheaper. Of course, I wouldn't mind posing for NUS fusion poster even for free since it's my alma mater after all, and knowing how desperate they can be in looking for fusion faces.

After all, under different lightning.... my countenance can easily morph from pan-Asian, to pan-Pacific, to distintly Oriental...just by changing the angle and lightning intensity.

I must find out who this fella is in the interest of my career.

Vocabulary

名模: Famous Model

Fusion Face: 汇合的脸

World's best invention ah!!!

2008-01-31T22:42:00.000-08:00

Somebody once posed a question on what would be the best invention in the world. MM Lee's reply was that it was either aircon or glasses (I can't remember) because they make people more productive in work...this doesn't require further exposition.

The former is self-contained in salience since Singapore is a tropical country..... a point which a Russian mayor is simply too eager to stress this point in putting down Singapore when vying to be the host for Youth Olympics when she said "Heat and humidity are definitely big risk factors and, taking into account that the games will be staged in the summer, Moscow looks a more preferable choice than Singapore". Singapore's hackles raised instantly but decided that any reprisal antics is not in the spirit of the Olympics. If we were allowed to have our way (and that means unfettered "freedom of speech"), I bet we would say, "Horniness and HIV are definitely big risk factors and, taking into account that the gamers may be enticed by "cheap migrant workers", Sing looks a more preferable choice than Mos".

Of course, let me not stray too far from what I intend to post here, for my vote for the greatest inventions would be ryanair!! Yup, ryanair would save millions if not billions of people's grace when relatives, friends and family could be invited to weddings especially elaborate traditional Indian weddings.

Of course, all these recommendations stem from the latest controversy over a recent Ryanair ad featuring French President Sarkozy and his girlfriend. In an ad in French, the advert shows a thought bubble from the ex-model showing "With ryanair, ALL my family can attend my marriage". ("Avec ryanair, toutes ma famille peut venir assister a mon mariage")

Isn't it fantastic? If not for the prestigious ryanair that offers out-of-the-word travelling experience, this former model would be so humiliated since she would lose face having to pay her family members to endure in cheap SIA business or first class seats.

If it's me, what would I be a victim of huhhh???? Maybe an ad would show me musing, "With ryanair, ALL my world's fans can attend my wedding"... and I would sue ryanair for.. erm...well one Sing dollar!

A spate of tuition 霉运

2008-01-31T08:56:00.000-08:00

They say that if you have not been shat by birds (which happened to THREE of my friends while cruising down Orchard - ML, Zymase and SL LLG), sometimes your bad luck might come in other ways. As a "Pan Dang" Buddhist, I would start to wonder if all of that has to do with my string of consecutive tuition bad lucks.

On Sunday which would be my second session with this new kid, I was gleefully telling myself that from the 3rd sessions onwards, I would keep all the spoils, since the first two lessons fees are paid to the agent. Everything went well for that day.. until the student said she would like to suspend the tuition till April because that would be close to exams. Hence, she would like to reserve that seat (i.e. another way of saying I could not take in another kid). With this, she nearly proceeded to pay me until I told her that things are not so straightforward as the agent has to take some fees too. Calling the agent and explaining the problem, the agent's first reaction was "she's crazy. This is the first time I ever heard of such thing in all my years as an agent. You have every right to say your piece", came her reply. Obviously that such a deal works against me and the first session now belongs to the agent. It was an investment gone awry.

Never mind.

Then another kid called me and told me that someone had introduced me to him. Just as I thought that my previous experience has finally paid off with word-of-mouth recommendations, and of course a bit of haggling, which led me to do a pay cut since he was being recommended, he got back to me later to say that he would want to start tuition only in June. He mouthed the same magical words, "Can you reserve a place for me till June?"

What is wrong with all these people!!!!??

SL LLG has been most empathetic. Having reached the maestro level of 金枝玉孽, he taught me that the best way to deal with such people is to say YES, SURE when we actually mean that it depends on vacancies by then.

The third misfortune came. I slaughtered the Golden Goose.

I took in this kid last November and she had been the most problematic kid of all. I taught I struck gold when the Mum decided to pay me for a fee that was pretty "decent". On the first day, I knew why, and as a warning to all tuition teachers out there, when things appear too good to be true, the product must be defective in some ways.

Verbally abusive, the kid 下 me a 马威 on the first day. She snared, "If you are late for my tuition, I will fire you! And one more thing you need to know, I dun like tuition teacher who are 罗唆. You want to tell me, you better get to the point. Dun nag-- YOU UNDERSTAND? (pointing her finger at me).

My blood pressure must have shot up by a few hundred percentage point. How old is she? Just Sec 2.

Of course, as professional as I am, I told her that in all my tuitions, I work with the student together and it is a form of relationship. Respect work both ways, and I always believe in this. That sort of tamed her down a bit.

I later learnt from the Mum that she had been sarcastically treated by a lot of her previous tutors. All these was because she was an underperforming kid as she was banded into a poor class where she mixed with the wrong people, leading her to have a vituperative mouth, a lack of respect for tuition teachers and relatives and a very warped view of the world.

This helped me a bit in understanding why she is the way she is. Everytime she threw her tantrum, I would tell myself this kid is facing a crisis. Let's just be patient with her. After all, that was what I learnt in educational psychology.

The mum is also a wierdo herself as once, the kid told me that she did well for history and the mum scolded her for doing well in a humanity subject which is looked down upon. Worse still, the kid said she had a hearing problem (which I observed is indeed true) because her mum used to nag at her, and she blocked out the "noise' by blasting her ears with music. Now she regretted it, she says.

Tuition for her has never been her idea. It is her Mum's. The mother expects her to get A1 fof the maths and sciences because they are supposed to be the strengths of the parents, and theoretically their progeny should exhibit the same level of mastery. CMI hor.. I mean, I feel so sad for the kid, but I get the occassional abuse when the kid just made a ruckus and said she could not follow my explanation (she was not giving in her best in listening) and kept on comparing me with a previous tutor who had left to do a furniture business.

The last straw came yesterday when I told her that there was no point for me to carry on since she could not understand me and the mum would be wasting her money. She said that she had already told her Mum previously about not wanting any tuition and would still get an A1 for her Mum to see.. to spite her (in my opinion). Frankly, I think she is a kid with special needs and honestly, she's not that brilliant with short term memory. Her short attention span makes teacher a very constipated experience.

I did not want her to classify me as "one of those tuition teachers since all tution teachers are idiotic and arrogant and they only know to say that I am stupid". I felt like telling her that she categorically labelled ALL tuition teachers as idiots. Does this make her any different from these blacksheep tutors who call ALL students stupid? But I held my peace, kept my poise and composure, though it was a tumultous storm inside me that could have exploded if it were someone else. I told myself I am going to leave her house with dignity.

So, voila. I axed the deal. And with dignity, I left, not turning back.

Lim Peh owns the gym huh?

2008-01-29T08:48:00.001-08:00

When SM Goh said that Singapore needs to move towards a "gracious" society, he didn't mean that people should become more gracious physically through toning one's flesh, but rather spiritually. Apparently, this guy in the Khatib gym simply understood it the wrong way.

When ZH HHG and I decided that a bench press would do our touch-me-not areas some integrity, we were visibly miffed by the fact that a blue towel had 'chop-ed' the place. Lamenting about how the gym was already so well peopled and signs were ostensibly labelled on machines reminding people to "share" equipments, this fella either did not understand English or did not have a moral department up there.

The gym veteran ZH HHG then "shared" with me that such culture is common in gyms, and what people usually do is to take the towel and hang it at one side... something which we did, and proceeded with beefing up those parts.

Halfway through my training, a towering brawny figure loomed.
He 出口成"脏" 地道, "This was my place!"

ZH HHG kept quiet as though a slap had been delivered to his cheek. While I may be a veritable 三脚猫, I am not a 病猫. Once bitten, twice shy. Ever since that experience with the escalator facko accent B**ch in which SL LLG showed only minor interventions, my 九阴三脚猫爪 have already been lying in wait to claim it's second victim (after successfully fending off my first victim who had grabbed me with the wife accusing me, and which I had successfully tamed them thereafter in Orchard. That is another story which I shall indulge if you ask me the next time since there is a lot of drama and only with histrionics on my part would justification be done).

Seeing that ZH HHG had been "silenced", and knowing a riposte would only be effective if delivered quickly, I shot, "But this seat was empty all these while" with the implication that one should not chop the seat. Perhaps I had rated him too highly in EQ points by using indirect expressions, as not only was that mongrel not even apologetic at the least instance, he had the cheek to mutter something like "I was away, yadda yadda..." to which I had by then threw him a dirty look and left. No please, no sorry from this guy throughout. Welcome to the EQ Densa society.

I asked ZH HHG, "Did you pay $2.50?"
ZH: "Yes"
Monologue: "Did I pay $2.50?" , "Of course"... "Then he must have paid $2.60 lah"

My next question, "Why did you keep quiet when he said that?"
Of course, ZH defended himself about being so taken aback by the abrupt rudeness, and he needed some time to let the information sink in for him to assess who's fault it was actually.

At this point, the veritable calm one turned his multi-million face to ZH HHG that there is one moral conclusion I have fathomed a while back. Upon this, ZH HHG was reduced to no more than a convert who has found the divine Bodhi tree and waited for the pearl of wisdom to be casted from my lips.

"Look ZH HHG. Both you and I are good people. And we being good people, always do good things. So when something disrupts our daily way of life abruptly, it must be their fault, to which the only way to correct for such is to be as snappy as possible".
ZH HHG having been enlightened by the Wise One, saw his claws surging out as Wolverine's.

Mio TV..meow

2008-01-28T22:14:00.000-08:00

Just got meow..er.. mio TV installed this morning, and I half-excitedly turned to watch 我和殭屍有個約會 I, the first version where I remembered I got besotted to the cool-as-a-cucumber Ma Xiao Ling who has gained her fair share of notoreity by "fighting" vampires in short skimpy skirts.. This vampish one.. just that vampish look will make all vampires melt and swoon like a butter to the sun. No need to fight lah...and you do realise that all the vampires in the show are males.

Back then when this was out on TV, I was still in my army daze mood serving out at the medical centre, and despite an occassional weekend Sunday duty, I know there's always something to look forward to at night (Yes, there is a TV at the medical centre usually meant for patients, but we knew better...) If all the priests in this world start wearing short skirts, everyone will become religious (for all the wrong reasons).

Also just received a comment from double JJ 'Lin' 俊杰 that my post remind him of me either 杨过 or 张无忌 in amassing all knick knack skills and finally 融合 all in one to be reckon with. Let me clarify that there is one major difference and one major similarity, though everyone can easily guess the latter, which obviously is that I am given a protagonist role in almost every setting. Despite this, even looking people can be messed up just the same as 'ugly people', as my timeless idol Michelle Pfeiffer once remarked. The difference is of course that I am much more modern compared to 杨过 and 张无忌 in that I can use a blog, am on facebook, speak some French and can tell a G2000 from a Geodarno (is this how you spell it?)

It's time to pack up and leave for NIE class at 4.30. Just like not all animals are created equal according to George Owell, not all NIE stuents are created the same! I happen to be one of those who managed to skip content upgrading while all my other friends have to slog out.. only for first two months.. but I'm not complaining!

Nationalism fervour

2008-01-28T22:08:00.000-08:00

Put Singapore on the world map!

Take action today and visit www.monopoly.com to cast your vote for Singapore today and help to immortalize our little red dot on the first ever world wide edition of Monopoly Here N Now World edition

From today (22 Jan) till 28 Feb 2008, Hasbro has launched the first ever global MONOPOLY vote and we need your help. Until the 28th February, via an online vote at www.monopoly.com, you will be able to select your top 10 favourite cities in the world and they can be part of MONOPOLY Here & Now: The World Edition.

There are 68 cities from all around the world to choose from and the top 20 cities at the end of the voting period will forever be immortalised on this world edition. Singapore is one of the nominated cities and we are competing with the rest of the world to make it onto the world edition – so come on Singaporeans – cast you vote now!

Cast your vote at www.monopoly.com and remember to vote every day to make it count! Please pass this onto your family, friends and Facebook connections to ensure we don't miss out on securing a place in history!

Your votes are appreciated and we would love to see Spore make its mark on the first ever World edition of MONOPOLY – this will only happen if you make a vote for Singapore!

The time has finally come to show the World – take pride and vote Singapore today…and everyday!

Homecoming

2008-01-27T08:00:00.000-08:00

Congrats in coming to my blog!

Some of you would ask, "why a new blog?"

The reason is simple. Working for the Ministry of Extermination, it can become extremely intimidating when students (oops, this is a giveaway to mon profession) being so tech-savvy, start googling MY NAME and it leads me to my old blog. So I'm gonna deleting it and start anew.

Next question, "why 三脚猫, or literally three legged cat?"

"I personally believe" that I am so because from its meaning in Chinese, I am indeed a three legged cat who dabbles in a lot of stuffs, but a master of none.

To give proper credit so as not to be accused of plagiarism, it was SL LLG who started using "three legged cat". As a form of recognition, I shall say that we once went to MOS with ML and Zymase and were dancing ourselves crazy when a few women performers started 'dancing' after crooning a few songs or not.

SL LLG was hardly impressed.

Swiftly, he remarked, "Chey, 三脚猫, 我也会", to which he started gyrating and pattering his feet "一,二,三...一,二,三"... It was so hilarious that it blew our mind.

And so, it just reminded me subsequently thereafter how 三脚 I am in a lot of my life aspects.

In tuition, I teach every subjects except Bio (my major). In sports, I thought I was good in pistol, only to give up some time after, and have never achieved any trophy to my name. In $ making, I was nowhere close to any divine level of some of my friends. In charity work, I am doing things on such a ad-hoc basis and so infrequently that I would have a hard time in arguing to get myself across Peter at the gate. In love, I have never got anything more than one hurdle.

But i thank God and holy heaven that despite my 三脚-ness, I have managed to be lucky in many other aspects. It's a 三脚福气. Hahahaha!

At least I have a stable job, a peaceful family, a healthy self, and many good friends.

So let me the 三脚猫 continue to update all of you with my 三脚猫功夫 in blogging!