Somebody once posed a question on what would be the best invention in the world. MM Lee's reply was that it was either aircon or glasses (I can't remember) because they make people more productive in work...this doesn't require further exposition.
The former is self-contained in salience since Singapore is a tropical country..... a point which a Russian mayor is simply too eager to stress this point in putting down Singapore when vying to be the host for Youth Olympics when she said "Heat and humidity are definitely big risk factors and, taking into account that the games will be staged in the summer, Moscow looks a more preferable choice than Singapore". Singapore's hackles raised instantly but decided that any reprisal antics is not in the spirit of the Olympics. If we were allowed to have our way (and that means unfettered "freedom of speech"), I bet we would say, "Horniness and HIV are definitely big risk factors and, taking into account that the gamers may be enticed by "cheap migrant workers", Sing looks a more preferable choice than Mos".
Of course, let me not stray too far from what I intend to post here, for my vote for the greatest inventions would be ryanair!! Yup, ryanair would save millions if not billions of people's grace when relatives, friends and family could be invited to weddings especially elaborate traditional Indian weddings.
Of course, all these recommendations stem from the latest controversy over a recent Ryanair ad featuring French President Sarkozy and his girlfriend. In an ad in French, the advert shows a thought bubble from the ex-model showing "With ryanair, ALL my family can attend my marriage". ("Avec ryanair, toutes ma famille peut venir assister a mon mariage")
Isn't it fantastic? If not for the prestigious ryanair that offers out-of-the-word travelling experience, this former model would be so humiliated since she would lose face having to pay her family members to endure in cheap SIA business or first class seats.
If it's me, what would I be a victim of huhhh???? Maybe an ad would show me musing, "With ryanair, ALL my world's fans can attend my wedding"... and I would sue ryanair for.. erm...well one Sing dollar!
Thursday, January 31, 2008
A spate of tuition 霉运
They say that if you have not been shat by birds (which happened to THREE of my friends while cruising down Orchard - ML, Zymase and SL LLG), sometimes your bad luck might come in other ways. As a "Pan Dang" Buddhist, I would start to wonder if all of that has to do with my string of consecutive tuition bad lucks.
On Sunday which would be my second session with this new kid, I was gleefully telling myself that from the 3rd sessions onwards, I would keep all the spoils, since the first two lessons fees are paid to the agent. Everything went well for that day.. until the student said she would like to suspend the tuition till April because that would be close to exams. Hence, she would like to reserve that seat (i.e. another way of saying I could not take in another kid). With this, she nearly proceeded to pay me until I told her that things are not so straightforward as the agent has to take some fees too. Calling the agent and explaining the problem, the agent's first reaction was "she's crazy. This is the first time I ever heard of such thing in all my years as an agent. You have every right to say your piece", came her reply. Obviously that such a deal works against me and the first session now belongs to the agent. It was an investment gone awry.
Never mind.
Then another kid called me and told me that someone had introduced me to him. Just as I thought that my previous experience has finally paid off with word-of-mouth recommendations, and of course a bit of haggling, which led me to do a pay cut since he was being recommended, he got back to me later to say that he would want to start tuition only in June. He mouthed the same magical words, "Can you reserve a place for me till June?"
What is wrong with all these people!!!!??
SL LLG has been most empathetic. Having reached the maestro level of 金枝玉孽, he taught me that the best way to deal with such people is to say YES, SURE when we actually mean that it depends on vacancies by then.
The third misfortune came. I slaughtered the Golden Goose.
I took in this kid last November and she had been the most problematic kid of all. I taught I struck gold when the Mum decided to pay me for a fee that was pretty "decent". On the first day, I knew why, and as a warning to all tuition teachers out there, when things appear too good to be true, the product must be defective in some ways.
Verbally abusive, the kid 下 me a 马 威 on the first day. She snared, "If you are late for my tuition, I will fire you! And one more thing you need to know, I dun like tuition teacher who are 罗唆. You want to tell me, you better get to the point. Dun nag-- YOU UNDERSTAND? (pointing her finger at me).
My blood pressure must have shot up by a few hundred percentage point. How old is she? Just Sec 2.
Of course, as professional as I am, I told her that in all my tuitions, I work with the student together and it is a form of relationship. Respect work both ways, and I always believe in this. That sort of tamed her down a bit.
I later learnt from the Mum that she had been sarcastically treated by a lot of her previous tutors. All these was because she was an underperforming kid as she was banded into a poor class where she mixed with the wrong people, leading her to have a vituperative mouth, a lack of respect for tuition teachers and relatives and a very warped view of the world.
This helped me a bit in understanding why she is the way she is. Everytime she threw her tantrum, I would tell myself this kid is facing a crisis. Let's just be patient with her. After all, that was what I learnt in educational psychology.
The mum is also a wierdo herself as once, the kid told me that she did well for history and the mum scolded her for doing well in a humanity subject which is looked down upon. Worse still, the kid said she had a hearing problem (which I observed is indeed true) because her mum used to nag at her, and she blocked out the "noise' by blasting her ears with music. Now she regretted it, she says.
Tuition for her has never been her idea. It is her Mum's. The mother expects her to get A1 fof the maths and sciences because they are supposed to be the strengths of the parents, and theoretically their progeny should exhibit the same level of mastery. CMI hor.. I mean, I feel so sad for the kid, but I get the occassional abuse when the kid just made a ruckus and said she could not follow my explanation (she was not giving in her best in listening) and kept on comparing me with a previous tutor who had left to do a furniture business.
The last straw came yesterday when I told her that there was no point for me to carry on since she could not understand me and the mum would be wasting her money. She said that she had already told her Mum previously about not wanting any tuition and would still get an A1 for her Mum to see.. to spite her (in my opinion). Frankly, I think she is a kid with special needs and honestly, she's not that brilliant with short term memory. Her short attention span makes teacher a very constipated experience.
I did not want her to classify me as "one of those tuition teachers since all tution teachers are idiotic and arrogant and they only know to say that I am stupid". I felt like telling her that she categorically labelled ALL tuition teachers as idiots. Does this make her any different from these blacksheep tutors who call ALL students stupid? But I held my peace, kept my poise and composure, though it was a tumultous storm inside me that could have exploded if it were someone else. I told myself I am going to leave her house with dignity.
So, voila. I axed the deal. And with dignity, I left, not turning back.
On Sunday which would be my second session with this new kid, I was gleefully telling myself that from the 3rd sessions onwards, I would keep all the spoils, since the first two lessons fees are paid to the agent. Everything went well for that day.. until the student said she would like to suspend the tuition till April because that would be close to exams. Hence, she would like to reserve that seat (i.e. another way of saying I could not take in another kid). With this, she nearly proceeded to pay me until I told her that things are not so straightforward as the agent has to take some fees too. Calling the agent and explaining the problem, the agent's first reaction was "she's crazy. This is the first time I ever heard of such thing in all my years as an agent. You have every right to say your piece", came her reply. Obviously that such a deal works against me and the first session now belongs to the agent. It was an investment gone awry.
Never mind.
Then another kid called me and told me that someone had introduced me to him. Just as I thought that my previous experience has finally paid off with word-of-mouth recommendations, and of course a bit of haggling, which led me to do a pay cut since he was being recommended, he got back to me later to say that he would want to start tuition only in June. He mouthed the same magical words, "Can you reserve a place for me till June?"
What is wrong with all these people!!!!??
SL LLG has been most empathetic. Having reached the maestro level of 金枝玉孽, he taught me that the best way to deal with such people is to say YES, SURE when we actually mean that it depends on vacancies by then.
The third misfortune came. I slaughtered the Golden Goose.
I took in this kid last November and she had been the most problematic kid of all. I taught I struck gold when the Mum decided to pay me for a fee that was pretty "decent". On the first day, I knew why, and as a warning to all tuition teachers out there, when things appear too good to be true, the product must be defective in some ways.
Verbally abusive, the kid 下 me a 马 威 on the first day. She snared, "If you are late for my tuition, I will fire you! And one more thing you need to know, I dun like tuition teacher who are 罗唆. You want to tell me, you better get to the point. Dun nag-- YOU UNDERSTAND? (pointing her finger at me).
My blood pressure must have shot up by a few hundred percentage point. How old is she? Just Sec 2.
Of course, as professional as I am, I told her that in all my tuitions, I work with the student together and it is a form of relationship. Respect work both ways, and I always believe in this. That sort of tamed her down a bit.
I later learnt from the Mum that she had been sarcastically treated by a lot of her previous tutors. All these was because she was an underperforming kid as she was banded into a poor class where she mixed with the wrong people, leading her to have a vituperative mouth, a lack of respect for tuition teachers and relatives and a very warped view of the world.
This helped me a bit in understanding why she is the way she is. Everytime she threw her tantrum, I would tell myself this kid is facing a crisis. Let's just be patient with her. After all, that was what I learnt in educational psychology.
The mum is also a wierdo herself as once, the kid told me that she did well for history and the mum scolded her for doing well in a humanity subject which is looked down upon. Worse still, the kid said she had a hearing problem (which I observed is indeed true) because her mum used to nag at her, and she blocked out the "noise' by blasting her ears with music. Now she regretted it, she says.
Tuition for her has never been her idea. It is her Mum's. The mother expects her to get A1 fof the maths and sciences because they are supposed to be the strengths of the parents, and theoretically their progeny should exhibit the same level of mastery. CMI hor.. I mean, I feel so sad for the kid, but I get the occassional abuse when the kid just made a ruckus and said she could not follow my explanation (she was not giving in her best in listening) and kept on comparing me with a previous tutor who had left to do a furniture business.
The last straw came yesterday when I told her that there was no point for me to carry on since she could not understand me and the mum would be wasting her money. She said that she had already told her Mum previously about not wanting any tuition and would still get an A1 for her Mum to see.. to spite her (in my opinion). Frankly, I think she is a kid with special needs and honestly, she's not that brilliant with short term memory. Her short attention span makes teacher a very constipated experience.
I did not want her to classify me as "one of those tuition teachers since all tution teachers are idiotic and arrogant and they only know to say that I am stupid". I felt like telling her that she categorically labelled ALL tuition teachers as idiots. Does this make her any different from these blacksheep tutors who call ALL students stupid? But I held my peace, kept my poise and composure, though it was a tumultous storm inside me that could have exploded if it were someone else. I told myself I am going to leave her house with dignity.
So, voila. I axed the deal. And with dignity, I left, not turning back.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Lim Peh owns the gym huh?
When SM Goh said that Singapore needs to move towards a "gracious" society, he didn't mean that people should become more gracious physically through toning one's flesh, but rather spiritually. Apparently, this guy in the Khatib gym simply understood it the wrong way.
When ZH HHG and I decided that a bench press would do our touch-me-not areas some integrity, we were visibly miffed by the fact that a blue towel had 'chop-ed' the place. Lamenting about how the gym was already so well peopled and signs were ostensibly labelled on machines reminding people to "share" equipments, this fella either did not understand English or did not have a moral department up there.
The gym veteran ZH HHG then "shared" with me that such culture is common in gyms, and what people usually do is to take the towel and hang it at one side... something which we did, and proceeded with beefing up those parts.
Halfway through my training, a towering brawny figure loomed.
He 出口成"脏" 地 道, "This was my place!"
ZH HHG kept quiet as though a slap had been delivered to his cheek. While I may be a veritable 三脚猫, I am not a 病猫. Once bitten, twice shy. Ever since that experience with the escalator facko accent B**ch in which SL LLG showed only minor interventions, my 九阴三脚猫爪 have already been lying in wait to claim it's second victim (after successfully fending off my first victim who had grabbed me with the wife accusing me, and which I had successfully tamed them thereafter in Orchard. That is another story which I shall indulge if you ask me the next time since there is a lot of drama and only with histrionics on my part would justification be done).
Seeing that ZH HHG had been "silenced", and knowing a riposte would only be effective if delivered quickly, I shot, "But this seat was empty all these while" with the implication that one should not chop the seat. Perhaps I had rated him too highly in EQ points by using indirect expressions, as not only was that mongrel not even apologetic at the least instance, he had the cheek to mutter something like "I was away, yadda yadda..." to which I had by then threw him a dirty look and left. No please, no sorry from this guy throughout. Welcome to the EQ Densa society.
I asked ZH HHG, "Did you pay $2.50?"
ZH: "Yes"
Monologue: "Did I pay $2.50?" , "Of course"... "Then he must have paid $2.60 lah"
My next question, "Why did you keep quiet when he said that?"
Of course, ZH defended himself about being so taken aback by the abrupt rudeness, and he needed some time to let the information sink in for him to assess who's fault it was actually.
At this point, the veritable calm one turned his multi-million face to ZH HHG that there is one moral conclusion I have fathomed a while back. Upon this, ZH HHG was reduced to no more than a convert who has found the divine Bodhi tree and waited for the pearl of wisdom to be casted from my lips.
"Look ZH HHG. Both you and I are good people. And we being good people, always do good things. So when something disrupts our daily way of life abruptly, it must be their fault, to which the only way to correct for such is to be as snappy as possible".
ZH HHG having been enlightened by the Wise One, saw his claws surging out as Wolverine's.
When ZH HHG and I decided that a bench press would do our touch-me-not areas some integrity, we were visibly miffed by the fact that a blue towel had 'chop-ed' the place. Lamenting about how the gym was already so well peopled and signs were ostensibly labelled on machines reminding people to "share" equipments, this fella either did not understand English or did not have a moral department up there.
The gym veteran ZH HHG then "shared" with me that such culture is common in gyms, and what people usually do is to take the towel and hang it at one side... something which we did, and proceeded with beefing up those parts.
Halfway through my training, a towering brawny figure loomed.
He 出口成"脏" 地 道, "This was my place!"
ZH HHG kept quiet as though a slap had been delivered to his cheek. While I may be a veritable 三脚猫, I am not a 病猫. Once bitten, twice shy. Ever since that experience with the escalator facko accent B**ch in which SL LLG showed only minor interventions, my 九阴三脚猫爪 have already been lying in wait to claim it's second victim (after successfully fending off my first victim who had grabbed me with the wife accusing me, and which I had successfully tamed them thereafter in Orchard. That is another story which I shall indulge if you ask me the next time since there is a lot of drama and only with histrionics on my part would justification be done).
Seeing that ZH HHG had been "silenced", and knowing a riposte would only be effective if delivered quickly, I shot, "But this seat was empty all these while" with the implication that one should not chop the seat. Perhaps I had rated him too highly in EQ points by using indirect expressions, as not only was that mongrel not even apologetic at the least instance, he had the cheek to mutter something like "I was away, yadda yadda..." to which I had by then threw him a dirty look and left. No please, no sorry from this guy throughout. Welcome to the EQ Densa society.
I asked ZH HHG, "Did you pay $2.50?"
ZH: "Yes"
Monologue: "Did I pay $2.50?" , "Of course"... "Then he must have paid $2.60 lah"
My next question, "Why did you keep quiet when he said that?"
Of course, ZH defended himself about being so taken aback by the abrupt rudeness, and he needed some time to let the information sink in for him to assess who's fault it was actually.
At this point, the veritable calm one turned his multi-million face to ZH HHG that there is one moral conclusion I have fathomed a while back. Upon this, ZH HHG was reduced to no more than a convert who has found the divine Bodhi tree and waited for the pearl of wisdom to be casted from my lips.
"Look ZH HHG. Both you and I are good people. And we being good people, always do good things. So when something disrupts our daily way of life abruptly, it must be their fault, to which the only way to correct for such is to be as snappy as possible".
ZH HHG having been enlightened by the Wise One, saw his claws surging out as Wolverine's.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Mio TV..meow
Just got meow..er.. mio TV installed this morning, and I half-excitedly turned to watch 我和殭屍有個約會 I, the first version where I remembered I got besotted to the cool-as-a-cucumber Ma Xiao Ling who has gained her fair share of notoreity by "fighting" vampires in short skimpy skirts.. This vampish one.. just that vampish look will make all vampires melt and swoon like a butter to the sun. No need to fight lah...and you do realise that all the vampires in the show are males.
Back then when this was out on TV, I was still in my army daze mood serving out at the medical centre, and despite an occassional weekend Sunday duty, I know there's always something to look forward to at night (Yes, there is a TV at the medical centre usually meant for patients, but we knew better...) If all the priests in this world start wearing short skirts, everyone will become religious (for all the wrong reasons).
Also just received a comment from double JJ 'Lin' 俊杰 that my post remind him of me either 杨过 or 张无忌 in amassing all knick knack skills and finally 融合 all in one to be reckon with. Let me clarify that there is one major difference and one major similarity, though everyone can easily guess the latter, which obviously is that I am given a protagonist role in almost every setting. Despite this, even looking people can be messed up just the same as 'ugly people', as my timeless idol Michelle Pfeiffer once remarked. The difference is of course that I am much more modern compared to 杨过 and 张无忌 in that I can use a blog, am on facebook, speak some French and can tell a G2000 from a Geodarno (is this how you spell it?)
It's time to pack up and leave for NIE class at 4.30. Just like not all animals are created equal according to George Owell, not all NIE stuents are created the same! I happen to be one of those who managed to skip content upgrading while all my other friends have to slog out.. only for first two months.. but I'm not complaining!
Back then when this was out on TV, I was still in my army daze mood serving out at the medical centre, and despite an occassional weekend Sunday duty, I know there's always something to look forward to at night (Yes, there is a TV at the medical centre usually meant for patients, but we knew better...) If all the priests in this world start wearing short skirts, everyone will become religious (for all the wrong reasons).
Also just received a comment from double JJ 'Lin' 俊杰 that my post remind him of me either 杨过 or 张无忌 in amassing all knick knack skills and finally 融合 all in one to be reckon with. Let me clarify that there is one major difference and one major similarity, though everyone can easily guess the latter, which obviously is that I am given a protagonist role in almost every setting. Despite this, even looking people can be messed up just the same as 'ugly people', as my timeless idol Michelle Pfeiffer once remarked. The difference is of course that I am much more modern compared to 杨过 and 张无忌 in that I can use a blog, am on facebook, speak some French and can tell a G2000 from a Geodarno (is this how you spell it?)
It's time to pack up and leave for NIE class at 4.30. Just like not all animals are created equal according to George Owell, not all NIE stuents are created the same! I happen to be one of those who managed to skip content upgrading while all my other friends have to slog out.. only for first two months.. but I'm not complaining!
Nationalism fervour
Put Singapore on the world map!
Take action today and visit www.monopoly.com to cast your vote for Singapore today and help to immortalize our little red dot on the first ever world wide edition of Monopoly Here N Now World edition
From today (22 Jan) till 28 Feb 2008, Hasbro has launched the first ever global MONOPOLY vote and we need your help. Until the 28th February, via an online vote at www.monopoly.com, you will be able to select your top 10 favourite cities in the world and they can be part of MONOPOLY Here & Now: The World Edition.
There are 68 cities from all around the world to choose from and the top 20 cities at the end of the voting period will forever be immortalised on this world edition. Singapore is one of the nominated cities and we are competing with the rest of the world to make it onto the world edition – so come on Singaporeans – cast you vote now!
Cast your vote at www.monopoly.com and remember to vote every day to make it count! Please pass this onto your family, friends and Facebook connections to ensure we don't miss out on securing a place in history!
Your votes are appreciated and we would love to see Spore make its mark on the first ever World edition of MONOPOLY – this will only happen if you make a vote for Singapore!
The time has finally come to show the World – take pride and vote Singapore today…and everyday!
Take action today and visit www.monopoly.com to cast your vote for Singapore today and help to immortalize our little red dot on the first ever world wide edition of Monopoly Here N Now World edition
From today (22 Jan) till 28 Feb 2008, Hasbro has launched the first ever global MONOPOLY vote and we need your help. Until the 28th February, via an online vote at www.monopoly.com, you will be able to select your top 10 favourite cities in the world and they can be part of MONOPOLY Here & Now: The World Edition.
There are 68 cities from all around the world to choose from and the top 20 cities at the end of the voting period will forever be immortalised on this world edition. Singapore is one of the nominated cities and we are competing with the rest of the world to make it onto the world edition – so come on Singaporeans – cast you vote now!
Cast your vote at www.monopoly.com and remember to vote every day to make it count! Please pass this onto your family, friends and Facebook connections to ensure we don't miss out on securing a place in history!
Your votes are appreciated and we would love to see Spore make its mark on the first ever World edition of MONOPOLY – this will only happen if you make a vote for Singapore!
The time has finally come to show the World – take pride and vote Singapore today…and everyday!
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Homecoming
Congrats in coming to my blog!
Some of you would ask, "why a new blog?"
The reason is simple. Working for the Ministry of Extermination, it can become extremely intimidating when students (oops, this is a giveaway to mon profession) being so tech-savvy, start googling MY NAME and it leads me to my old blog. So I'm gonna deleting it and start anew.
Next question, "why 三脚猫, or literally three legged cat?"
"I personally believe" that I am so because from its meaning in Chinese, I am indeed a three legged cat who dabbles in a lot of stuffs, but a master of none.
To give proper credit so as not to be accused of plagiarism, it was SL LLG who started using "three legged cat". As a form of recognition, I shall say that we once went to MOS with ML and Zymase and were dancing ourselves crazy when a few women performers started 'dancing' after crooning a few songs or not.
SL LLG was hardly impressed.
Swiftly, he remarked, "Chey, 三脚猫, 我也会", to which he started gyrating and pattering his feet "一,二,三...一,二,三"... It was so hilarious that it blew our mind.
And so, it just reminded me subsequently thereafter how 三脚 I am in a lot of my life aspects.
In tuition, I teach every subjects except Bio (my major). In sports, I thought I was good in pistol, only to give up some time after, and have never achieved any trophy to my name. In $ making, I was nowhere close to any divine level of some of my friends. In charity work, I am doing things on such a ad-hoc basis and so infrequently that I would have a hard time in arguing to get myself across Peter at the gate. In love, I have never got anything more than one hurdle.
But i thank God and holy heaven that despite my 三脚-ness, I have managed to be lucky in many other aspects. It's a 三脚福气. Hahahaha!
At least I have a stable job, a peaceful family, a healthy self, and many good friends.
So let me the 三脚猫 continue to update all of you with my 三脚猫功夫 in blogging!
Some of you would ask, "why a new blog?"
The reason is simple. Working for the Ministry of Extermination, it can become extremely intimidating when students (oops, this is a giveaway to mon profession) being so tech-savvy, start googling MY NAME and it leads me to my old blog. So I'm gonna deleting it and start anew.
Next question, "why 三脚猫, or literally three legged cat?"
"I personally believe" that I am so because from its meaning in Chinese, I am indeed a three legged cat who dabbles in a lot of stuffs, but a master of none.
To give proper credit so as not to be accused of plagiarism, it was SL LLG who started using "three legged cat". As a form of recognition, I shall say that we once went to MOS with ML and Zymase and were dancing ourselves crazy when a few women performers started 'dancing' after crooning a few songs or not.
SL LLG was hardly impressed.
Swiftly, he remarked, "Chey, 三脚猫, 我也会", to which he started gyrating and pattering his feet "一,二,三...一,二,三"... It was so hilarious that it blew our mind.
And so, it just reminded me subsequently thereafter how 三脚 I am in a lot of my life aspects.
In tuition, I teach every subjects except Bio (my major). In sports, I thought I was good in pistol, only to give up some time after, and have never achieved any trophy to my name. In $ making, I was nowhere close to any divine level of some of my friends. In charity work, I am doing things on such a ad-hoc basis and so infrequently that I would have a hard time in arguing to get myself across Peter at the gate. In love, I have never got anything more than one hurdle.
But i thank God and holy heaven that despite my 三脚-ness, I have managed to be lucky in many other aspects. It's a 三脚福气. Hahahaha!
At least I have a stable job, a peaceful family, a healthy self, and many good friends.
So let me the 三脚猫 continue to update all of you with my 三脚猫功夫 in blogging!
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