7th day 臺南 Tainan

It was our second day in Tainan and we decided to have breakfast (fish soup and a plate of fried something I cant remember) at a shop near the 赤崁樓. We asked this lady who was sweeping the floor outside the bridal shop how to walk to 安平 but she was quick to point out we were going the wrong direction.

After while we decided to take a cab to 安平古堡. The taxi driver was confused with our instructions and ferried us to the navy. Thankfully he was kind enough to charged us a discount when we finally reached. At 安平, there is the old Fort Zeelandia which was built in 1620 by the Dutch. Like Sentosa, it had many fake cannons which attracted a lot of sua gu tourists like us and some school children. They even had a free photography-cum-insurance card session where a free photo was taken and made into a card. It was essentially an insurance card so if we fall sick in Tainan, we re insured. If not, then it is a souvenir gift. Very very thoughtful!



After this, we went to Zhou's famous prawn roll which the taxi driver say die die must try. So we went in for lunch and then after that continued to tour the area a bit, ending up in a "tree house" which we thought was a house on a tree, but no, it means - a tree on a house (i.e. the roots grow around the house). We decided not to see the old trading establishments, preferring instead to return to Tainan city centre where we went to Confucius Temple next.




There we took some pics for facebook and then started walking to other areas passing by the old gate:




And moving on, we reached the five-concubines temple. Accordingly, when the last Ming emperor died in Taiwan (by way of suicide), his five concubines demonstrated their loyalty by ending their lives. Such was the devotness that the temple is also a site for their tombs. Passing by many other exquisite temples, we ended up in a shrine (鄭成功祖廟)devoted to Koxinga (or 鄭成功) who tried to restore the Ming dynasty but failed.



Inside the 鄭成功祖廟.

Nevertheless, he was revered for driving out the Dutch. The name Koxinga is a Dutch's bastardization of guo xing ye, a title conferred to 鄭成功. Interestingly, 鄭成功 was born to a Chinese pirate father and a Japanese mother.

With our tired legs, we decided that we should start looking for a place to sit. So we ended up in this cafe where we ordered a set of coffee and toast (with egg). There was this boy beside us with an English Grammer book and we were thinking whether he might just turn his head to us and asked us a few questions since he was glancing at us when we conversed in English earlier!

As the guidebook said this meatball in glutinous rice is a must try, we walked across the road to try it. They were only so so, and SL LLG quickly lamented how ang moh's fascination of Asian countries really leaves much to be desired. We continued out food pilmigrage to Slack Season's 擔仔麵 which we eventually found.



At least the interior was picturesque as the man made the noodles on the spot upon request.


Determined not to let the previous failed attempt of 花園夜市 search where we walked for at least an hour, we made sure that it was opened by asking the lady in the 擔仔麵 shop. It was a horrible walk the day before so we decided to cab there today. But since we were still too early, we walked for a bit and then passed by a shoe shop. There was 50% discount so we got ourselves a pair. Realising that we had quite a bit of stuffs with us, we returned to the hotel first to put our stuffs down. After watching a TV programme showing how the first Ming dynasty emperor came to power (SL LLG said it is a potential National Education video for the Taiwanese/Chinese), we left for the 花園夜市.

At 花園夜市, I had my first chance of 臭豆腐 which is not for the faint-hearted including SL LLG who refused outright to try.



I love them with the pickled cabbages!

We also ate some other 小吃 including duck wrap and oyster omelette with SL LLG. Soon we were just too full and our cab returned us to the hotel. We spent some time trying to figure out which bus stop was the most appropriate to take the bus to the train station for tomorrow. To which, SL LLG had to ask this jewellery shop auntie, but she was kind enough to offer.

Unlike yesterday where we had drinks at the Japanese outlet, we decided to miss night drinking a miss.

情非得已-吉他

SL LLG, once you have mastered C, G, F, Am and then Em chords, you can then play this song - typically four months. As for timing, that depends on how talented you are. Hmm... maybe for you, six months?

8th day. Back to Taipei

We took the train from Tainan to Taipei. But this was no ordinary train. It was the 高鐵 (high speed rail) that promised to get us back in 2 hrs, rather than 4 hrs. So in the early morning we took the cab to the station, and then proceeded to Mos Burger for our lunch. The menu was decidedly different but it was fabulous nevertheless! Then we went to Seven-Eleven to get our origini (or Japanese rice filling wrapped under seaweed).

Apparently, on the train SL LLG challenged me to open the origini without breaking apart. He FAILED big time, big shit! I was laughing my head off and he asked me to show him instead. I must admit that it was my first attempt but as you all know, good habits are cultivated since young, and so I have this instinct of opening things in a wholesome manner. With that triumphant air to his wide-eyed incredulity he exhibited when I finally did it, SL LLG was certainly very miffed.

Reaching Taipei, we welcomed the familiarity, though that meant the faster pace of life had returned. We arrived in the hotel, this time pleased with the new room for it had a window!! At the service counter was these 2 girls who over-bought, and one girl was bossing the other girl to "Take out that $100 Sing dor-lah nOW!! We need it for excess baggage!" A scan of her things showed they bought a semi-giant winnie da pooh soft-toy (duhhhh you mean we dun have this in ToyR Us Singapore??), multiple boxes of (I assumed 土產 which is really fine BUT BOXES AND BOXES as if a famine is about to hit Singapore) and bags og dunno what. Anyway that's her problem.

So we went to 孫中山 memorial hall and were quite delighted to find ourselves in the next schedule for the change of parade guarding Mr 孫 statue. As I was taking down the video of the whole thing, this guy (I shan't say he's from PRC) was most inconsiderate. He was trying to stay a few steps ahead of the incoming guard and getting his friend to take pictures of him. This earned the ire of the in-charge who had to repeatedly tell him to stand back. My video cam was blocked a couple of times by this zealot! But SL LLG who saw the screen of camera said the photos weren't well taken anyway despite hs efforts.

We landed ourselves next to the shopping centre beside the famed Taipei 101, but we did not go up as it was too expensive. Still we got to the mall nearby and had a sumptuous lunch. If you don't believe, you see:



Then we proceeded to get our facial wash, though SL LLG couldn't find his favourite Japanese imported milku milku. Feeling very sleepy, we contemplated of returning to the hotel, but decided that we should just go straight to 淡水.

This we did and we stopped over at Fort San Domingo, ex-British consulate and Aletheia University which included a small Oxford college, and founded by the Canadian George Leslie Mackay. Apparently, the night view made the red-bricked buildings very spooky ...



...and we were taking some "scare pictures"

Then we decided to go to 漁人碼頭 (fisherman's wharf). We met an old couple along the way and asked them for the general direction. The old lady was kind enough to tell us that we should not be walking but rather take a cab or at least a bus. This fell on deaf ears as we were soon to find and we must have walked for another hour before reaching! But the journey was fraught with life's most unearthly temptations. No I am not taking about the spider spirits of 西游記 which tried to seduce the most innocent 唐僧, but the object of our temptation was no less powerful - 檳榔 (betel nut)! Stopping by a shop that had a sign screaming 檳榔, our curiousity killed the three-legged cat and nine-tailed fox. The owner was most amused when we popped the ever interesting question as a virgin would for the first time - 請問怎樣吃??
Well, just chew it as if you would to a chewing gum! This we did but without gleefully taking some pictures of popping it into our mouths.

But we regretted it shortly after. Our heart palpitated and we knew that would be the last time. Pity, there were still many of them in a packet (which incidentally showed a scantily cladded women on both sides), and we were thinking of giving them to a friend who we hated! Evil..

Finally reaching 漁人碼頭...




....where a beautiful bridge even attracted a couple to take wedding shots there, we went straight to have our hot steaming 阿給, which is essentially 東粉 wrapped in beancurd skin and served with peanut gravy. I tell you.. it was so windy that we ate like refugees. Realising that the cold wind had caused many stalls to remain closed, we had fried shishamo in the next stop before deciding that enough is enough. We took a bus back to 淡水. As we passed by 永福豆漿, we decided that we should try ti to see if it lives up to its name. Verdict, pretty decent.

Then we stumbled upon a live performance by 卓文萱 near the MRT.



So we stayed for a while watching the performance - 愛的城堡 and other songs she belted before returning back to 西門 and our hotel.

9th day. Very urai

烏來



That is how the place was named after the 原住民 there saw bubbling steam coming out from a place and deem the place urai (or poisonous in their native language). Nowadays tourists throng the place for its famed hot springs and aboriginal culture.

We happened to see a tour package being sold at the bus station when we reached the Xindian MRT station. It cost us NT600 for a day tour including a mini bus to 內洞 where there is a climb up with the 導遊 to see the famous 瀑布, and then a performance by the aborigines. The climb was quite a work out but before that we were advised to get some food to toughen our stomach and muscles.

This group of "picnic aunties" (as SL LLG called them) seemed to be very "ex-pe-ren" as they got tonnes of sausages, fruits and noodles during a stopover and they were having a palace feast when we finally had a break halfway our climb. Well, we were discussing that should the bus break down and we were trapped in the mountains, SL LLG and I would have no qualms robbing these aunties of their food to stay alive! That was especially since SL LLG and I shared only a sausage and a stick of three small lean meat!

In one of the mobile toilets, there was a sign on the door
"請輕聲關門"
I almost died when I saw the English translation -
"Please close the door with a soft voice"
Unfortunately I did not take a pciture of it!



The waterfall which was part of the rewards for the climb.

As the climb got higher, many started to stay put and only a few tough ones (including two of us) stayed ahead. Eventually, the 導遊 declared that we should begin our descent and start bringing those who stopped halfway waiting down. After a few inquisitive questions by another Taiwanese female 導遊 who asked where we were from and so on (SL LLG said that he would have no problem accepting her as his gf if she only slightly indicated interest), we were shuffled on the bus to watch tye aborigine dances.

Now, there were only four of us who signed up for this dance performance. Besides SL LLG and me, there was also this Taiwanese young couple sitting in a big hall. Accoridng to the Guide Book, the dance comprised of a few performances and it always ended with a marriage dance. So we knew we would be called. After all, what was the chances we wouldnt since there were so few of us! So I told SL LLG, if we got called, he would go up and dance and "marry" one of the girls while I will take pictures! We agreed with this arrangement.



Who would have thought that when the dancers came in, they chose all EXCEPT SL LLG! What was that supposed to mean huh, I asked SL LLG later. Looks like even if I wanted to be left on the shelves, I couldn't! As for you, look like they found your face too unmarriageable! Of course, he felt very very b!tched.

Though later, he was called into the dance, but that was because they wanted to take pictures of us and then charged a hefty sum. This they did, and the Taiwanese couple knew too well, so they must have expressed some displeasure when they sid 500 NT at first, only to quickly dropped to 300 NT. We were happy that it worked out this way.

When it was finally time for us to go, we went to queue up for the famous 山豬香腸. It has more 野味 and some people may not like it.




Notice how the seller looks like a mascot to the 山豬香腸! Ok, very bad.. Haha

Then we went for dinner - the place was famous for their bamboo rice. After some walking and picture taking of the picturesque place:





We decided that we should do our hot spring. It was an all-men indoor one and since I had gone onto one many years before when I was in Taiwan, I had to teach SL LLG the etiquettes of it - first de-robe down to your birthday suit. Then scrub yourselves real clean before going in. Try various pools of different temp to improve the health enhancement effects, and of course dun stay too long in a hot one or we would have problem having babies!!

There was nobody there when we entered so I took a picture



We had the whole place to ourselves for half hour before an ang moh came in next and he plunged straight into it! No no.. he did not bathe. tsk tsk

After the whole experience which causes SL LLG to eat back his previous avowment - "I don't foresee myself going to Taiwan hot spring more than once", made during the beginning of the trip. He was so enamoured with the whole experience that he looked forward to the next one when I told him Beitou also has hot spring. I was incredulous that in all his past 3 times to Taiwan, he had never been to a hot spring before! Now he's a hot spring convert!

Back in the hotel, I asked, "SL LLG, if you were the emperor what would you do to China", to which his most earnest and quick reply was "Education and decentralization. That would make China a most agreeable country to govern compared to other dynasties. What about you leh?", he asked me.

"Well, first I would make sure that they pump hot spring water into my palace everyday. Then I will ask the court girls to dance while I soothe my muscles. Then I would order the finest food to be sent to my table after the soak and sleep on silk beds that shall be made by a thousand delicate hands"

He almost died.

10th day. Punishment before enjoyment

陽明山.



The mere recalling of how SL LLG did it with consumption king in their last trip to Taiwan where they scaled 1000 km still brought a shudder to him. That said, since we had a limitation of time, we knew that we had to finish the mountain of 陽明 before moving on to 北投.

So we cheated.

Well sort of. First we climbed quite a bit to the information centre where the kind lady immediately smelt the Singaporeanness in us and advised us to take a bus to a few poplar destinations and then climbed from there. After realizing that the bus was perpetually crowded, we decided to climb a bit of our own (still that "a bit" took us 45 min) before we took a bus from a more favourable location.

When we alighted, what greeted SL LLG sent a chill down his spine. "Yes" he muttered. This was the one consumption king and I climbed for 4 hours.
Determined not to repeat history, we decided to climb only a bit and then take some pictures







Take bus (#230 across 7-11) straight to 北投. Alighting, we went striaght to Hell Valley. According to the Guide Book, after a man fell in and scalded to death from the 90+ degrees celsius water, they have fenced up the whole place. Essentially, it was a lake but a boiling one at that



After that, we were on our hunt for our hot spring. There are many hot spring hotels there and were were ready to settle for a more atas one when something told me there are better deals up the slope. So we climbed a bit and entered this hotel which is beside a lovely quaint looking Catholic church. We were happy to hear that each of us only have to pay NT250 for 1.5 h of soak. And the best was yet to come. We were told we have the WHOLE area for ourselves and let me show you the pictures why were almost led to ecstacy when we saw what we had:




There are two pools all designed as if they were outdoors. The inner pool is warmer and the outer one is really nice to sleep in for an hour.





A bamboo hut and washing up area for changing and cleaning.

After that we were on our way to KFC for a quick dinner as were were interested to see if there was any differences in the chicken. SL LLG claimed the chicken is more juicy. I felt there wasn't much.

As we were making our way to the train station to catch our train to meet Serena, our new found Taiwanese friend we met in Wu Lai a day before, we bumped into this poised looking auntie.

"這位同學, could you tell me the direction to this......" Well SL LLG's heart apparently fluttered. Perhaps I had just taken it for granted that people would call me 同學 that I did not realise that, but one could easily imagine how that 稱呼 was most coveted by the decrepit and aged, that obviously SL LLG's ears caught it almost instantly. In an almost dazed manner, he couldn't remember the street name that the auntie was asking for, and I was the one who in a matter of fact manner, fished out the guide book and start figuring out the direction. After which, the auntie was so grateful that she said, 來,我給你們一點東西. SL LLG thought it was some rewards or something but she took out two namecards instead. Ah lish to miooo, she's actually an Member of Parliament for the KMT, and also a lecturer of a university!

After this interesting encounter, we returned to Taipei to meet Serena. She gave SL LLG a Cape 7 original CD and that stunned SL LLG considerably since his friend Bro Ong had asked him to get but the CD is still not yet out in Taiwan. She was kind enough to take us to Taiwan's MOST FAMOUS beef noodle house and I tell you, once you try it, beef noodles will never be the same again!

11th day. A day of culture and consumerism

九份 is a must see.



And that was what every guide books rave about. Since the movie City of Sadness 悲情城市 by Hou Hsiao-hsien's film came out, 九份is hardly sad. What with bus loads of chattering Hong Kong and Singapore aunties flocking the place, one might just feel so sad that the place is becoming just another tourist trap. Thankfully the aged streets still retain some bit of charm and not a lot of development has taken place there to make it look like our own Chinatown, which even my Chinese friend commented "這裡還比中國中國"


One of the stalls with the man in action - shaving away rock sugar to be wrapped later

For all that, SL LLG and I took a train and then transferred by way of a bus to 九份. Dark clouds were looming and being the agrophobic of me, I murmured that it might as well have rained and chase away all the tourists. To which, SL LLG swerved to look at me, and with some dramatic actions of saying prayers, asked the Great God to forgive what I said.

Apparently not. Before long, it started drizzling and everyone, including us was getting rather wet. But not before we had our fair share of sampling the various 小吃 including 紅糟豬肉, yam balls, etc. Knowing that we need to leave some stomach space for yum cha, we chose a tea house with a picturesque view overlooking the sea and the hills.


We chose this tea house! Yeh!

茶道 is our way of 修身养性 in Taiwan, so after the lady showed us the proper way to do it, SL LLG and I got down to tea business of 沏茶、赏茶、and of course 饮茶. With the drizzle advancing into a downpour, we could only count our lucky stars that I had wished for rain to come not another day. With warm tea on our hands replete with tea cakes, and the chilling weather outside, it was all just so relaxing. C'est la vie.



We were mindful not to leave the place too late as most 土產痁 would be closed by then. So despite the rain, we had to get our 鳳梨酥 and the famed 太陽餅 before the shutters came down. Of course I ended up buying more than those and we had quite a bit of a bag to handle when we board the bus to 基隆 where the Miao Kou 夜市 is Taiwan's largest and most famous.


We passed by this department store where there was a sign that highlighted how two thieves made away. Keep a lookout for them!

Unfortunately, that it being a Monday and a rainy one at that meant most stalls are closed and we just had to content ourselves with oysters/big intestines mee sua, smelly bean curd (for which SL LLG steadfastly refused to eat), 蠔煎, 蟹羹 and culminating in a bowl of 豆花 that had many stuffs going into it.

With a heavy heart, we took the train back to Taipei where we had our last 泡泡drinks (quientessential of Taiwan) in a stall near ur hotel. I had coke with milk, quite an ingenuous mix before we returned to our room to sort out all our crazy barang barang.

12th day. Home sweet home

At 3.30 am in the morning and having slept for 2 hours, we were decidedly tired, but went ahead with making our instant beef flavoured noodles adding ready made hard boiled eggs and coffee.



It is time to say goodbye to this city that is full of 博愛.

Thankfully we were travelling with SQ, which allowed us to doze off (unknowingly). Somehow SQ breakfast was not really a big deal, but our thoughts of dining at the airport probably was.

Despite me telling Great Friend upteen times not to 接機, I had a gut feeling that I had better call her upon touch down. Indeed, the voice from the other line confirmed that Great Friend had been waiting just outside. After lunch and a few updates of the trip, Great Friend insisted on sending me back home (in the North) and then taking another bus back to the East. Sigh.... this silly girl.. just won't listen.

I wished I could just plonked down to bed and catch up on my sleep. The knowledge that I still have final theory driving test in the evening did not allow me to take forty winks with ease. With an hour sleep, I was well on my way to take my test and as you could imagine,

I flunked.

Fly, fly and away

Now in the aiport with SL LLG (a.k.a Alishan tong2 lao3) at the free Internet terminal. I will be in Taiwan for the next 12 days, so unless there are free time on my hand, I probably will not be updating my blog till my return. So I seek the indulgence of the readers till I return on the 9th Dec.

For the past few days, whenever I replied to friends who asked me who I am going with for this trip that I am going with SL LLG, there is ALWAYS an inevitable question: Why didn't you go with HER??

Well, I always have to exlain that SHE is going to Vietnam with her friends just a day before I leave for Taiwan, and that we both have planned our own trips BEFORE we knew each other. So there you go, in case you care also thinking of the same question :)

Anyway, our (abridged) itinerary is:

28th Nov Arrived Taipei in the evening. Proceed to Xi men ding

29th Nov Around Taipei, including Longshan Temple and National Palace Museum

30th Nov Leave for Chiayi

1st Dec Depart from Chiayi to Alishan.

2nd Dec Go for morning rise. Which means waking at 4 am!!

3rd Dec Depart back top Chiayi for transfer to Tainan. Stay at Tainan to visit all the temples, old streets, tea house.

4th Dec At Tainan.

5th Dec Return to Taipei in evening

6th Dec To Wulai including Wulai Aboriginal Culture Village then take cable cars to Wulai Falls

Gong Guan Night Market

7th Dec Yangminshan
Beitou
Danshui 9Visit Fort San Domingo, British Consulate and Aletheia University

8th Dec Jiufen. To walk along Jishan Road. Then take bus to Kee Lung for Miaokou night market. Return to aipei by train

9th Dec Home sweet home to Singapore!
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Jack and Jill went up the Jurong Hill...

...to catch a meal for their stomachs fill,
...Jack slurped down, as the food went down,
...And Jill came smiling after.

Many Jacks and Jills have gone to Jurong Hill,
And that was how this Jack and Jill knew.

From others blogs,
and others talks,
So Jack and Jill climbed up the hill!

- A rather 三脚猫 poem by the three-legged cat.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Indeed, it was Jack's friend who told him about this Jurong Hill Teppanyaki restaurant when Jack's friend got attached in June. Rapshodizing how the place was a perfect place for 'pak tor', Jack was encouraged to bring his Jill there if he ever had his Jill.

So days wore on, and Jack finally found his Jill. But Jack had not forgotten about the secret hide-away. So he waited till Jill finished her NTU's exams before declaring the dinner as a form of post-exams celebration. Besides Jill is going to Vietnam the following day and Jack to Taiwan the next following day, so it's like a small little gathering at the top of the hill, at the top of their mood.

Jack wanted to know others' reviews of the restaurant, so he went to google and it came back a few useful links.

http://iamjoannatan.blogspot.com/2008/11/jurong-hilltop-teppanyaki.html
http://vodka-vanilla.blogspot.com/2006/05/week-before.html
http://tomorrow.sg/archives/2005/10/14/hilltop_japanese_resturant_at_ju.html

My dear readers, you might want to read these blogs and perhaps think of having a rendezvous with your Jack or Jill one day. Tucking away on top of a hill, the restaurant is rather secluded and so in 鹿鹿's words, "very best" for:

(1) A hot date, especially on a weekday when it is less crowded so you can have your own personal time and for which time seems to have stood still,
(2) A hot affair, because what on earth would your hubby or wife be doing on an ulu hill top unless they themselves are also there for their clandestine rendezvous too!!

Anyway, as Jack is a poor T-chir, and Jill is a poor student, they can only see posh cars whizzed by them as they made the ascent. But the indigents have their own little blessings. The climb gave them a great tummy-trimming cum pre-yummy-dinner workout, and the walk was most readily peppered with little chats and laughs. They were probably the only Jack and Jill who have actually gone to the restaurant by climbing!

So they settled down for Salmon Special, assorted sashimi, unagi, californian roll and some side dishes. The chef was friendly as there was only another Jackarella and Jillarella sharing the same table surrounding the teppanyaki cooking area, so he made some light chats. Service was rather good even though there was no service charge for the restaurant.

Some pictures for the curiosity-kill-the-other-cats:













Jack and Jill then adjourned to another area for complimentary dessert though it was a tad disappointing as it was only a scoop of ice-cream for each of them. After a slight drizzle and a walk up the spiral tower, they made their descent down the hill...

and no, Jack didn't fall down and break his crown,
and neither did Jill came tumbling after.

Russell Peters - Chinese vs Indian (making business)

A rather old video, but since the Lulu fever has swept WL LLG and SL LLG, Russell Peters deserves a place in the three-legged cat's blog!

A sour grape a day makes the senescence go away

At least that was what SL LLG piously believes...

If not, how else would this old swine suffering the equivalent of an Ophelia complex snorted how the luckiest guy on Earth forget his deportment in the face of pleasing his future parents-in-laws over dinner?

This the three legged cat can only put it down to a few reasons:

ONE. Real-time bachelors, and a particularly decrepit one at that, usually do not have the patience to discern for even a few seconds, those moments of alpha male scoring especially when it comes to securing the proverbial missing rib. Ain't he understand that La patience est une virtu??



TWO. Delusionists can be considered the next greatest form of "magic" after illusionists. That SL LLG has been looking into mirror mirror on the wall.... who is the youngest of them all... (to which SL LLG should have no difficulty belting out the 1960 Pinkerton's song) have afforded him a most distorted view that redefines prim and proper in his own way.



THREE. A lonely heart. Now Cupid is certainly no blame when it comes to this. For who is to blame to ask for only a 巩俐's lookalike for a mate when the bloke himself is just miserably as 抱歉 as


If you see fangs coming out my dear readers, you are hardly mistaken, for indeed "狗 (the female one- aka the b!tch) 嘴里长出猪牙"!

Meet da parents

As friends of the three-legged cat would know, meeting the parents is one of those affairs that the cat has done/ will be doing. Has done in the sense that throughout the years in the tropical island education system, the cat has been quite an exemplary student that teachers usually had praises for the parent. Will be in the sense that now very soon, the cat shall be the one at the other end of the table, singing praises for his students next year.



But as far as today went, the cat has taken on another role in the second meet the parents session (the first was a supper after Lin Yi Lian's concert and everything was somehow not very formal)... . This meet da parents session is a little bit special. First, it was held not in the classroom but in a zi char restaurant where coffee pork ribs and pumpkin yam paste are the orders of the day. Second, the cat is there TO SCORE POINTS with the cat's goodest friend's parents (to ingratiate is too strong a word to use, but nonetheless almost there). So when the cat's goodest friend suggested that they adjourn to Geylang for durian (goodest friend's mum's fav), the cat gladly seized the idea.

The result? Another few smiles and recognition that the cat really knows its job well!

Kukup

Despite having the bout of stomach flu, the three legged cat had enough of an audacity to test his stomach to the limits by continuing to go on the Kukup tour he had yearned to with Great Friend and his friends.

What a great trip it was despite the perpetual jams and the dizzying roads. There was even a point when Paul Baba had to negotiate a sharp turn to avoid an otherwise fatal collision with a lorry. Thankfully no one was hurt and the journey saw one of Mr G's friend drooling while napping!

The seafood had been over-hyped as the seaview had been over-imagined. But one could not rely on just the food and the view to come to a neat conclusion that the day trip had been most halcyonic. Thanks to Paul Baba's muttering of curses of other Malaysian drivers and Jasmine's mordant but clumsy attempts to deflate the ego of Mr G. that had punctuated the whole journey, they certainly added quite a great deal of colours.

When school starts next year, it's the end of the salad days in N*E as a great deal of work beckons. And even tomorrow Mr G. had to report to work to his posted institution.

Arr..chioooO! Blurp!

That's gastric flu for you.. or rather me.

According to wikipedia
"Gastroenteritis (also known as gastro, gastric flu, and stomach flu, although unrelated to influenza) is inflammation of the gastrointestinal tract, involving both the stomach and the small intestine (see also gastritis and enteritis) and resulting in acute diarrhea.

The inflammation is caused most often by infection with certain viruses, less often by bacteria or their toxins, parasites, or adverse reaction to something in the diet or medication. Worldwide, inadequate treatment of gastroenteritis kills 5 to 8 million people per year,and is a leading cause of death among infants and children under 5. At least 50% of cases of gastroenteritis as foodborne illness are due to norovirus."

What first started off as a heart-burn feeling today morning manifested into vomitting and diarrhoea. I must have looked almost like a ragged doll by afternoon with minimal intake of fluids and no solid food. It still remains a mystery how I contracted the norovirus when I had been happy and kicking just yesterday.

Both Great Friend and Alex were fine even though we dined at the same restaurant. It could be pinned down to a case of misfortune. Funnily enough, I was pointing to Alex the Merlion as we walked past it just last night, and commented how Singaporeans have with good humour, used the expression "to merlion" to mean "to vomit". Essentially I have become a merlion today and a very bad one at that!

My conditions have elicited quite a myraid of responses:

(1) Greatest Friend had been most apprehensive about my condition, and offered to come down to the Land of the Hunks to look after me. Since gastric flu can be contagious, I requested Great Friend not to.

(2) My dearest sister remarked how wonderful it is to have this free slimming programme.

(3) My wonderful brother laughed in jest when my sis made that remark.

(4) Good old mum implored me to see the doctor and busied herself with making black sugar solution, which she claimed "detoxifies" the blood.

To which end, I would rather have chosen to gym out my avoir dupois, than to subject myself to this dizzying 上吐下泻 affair.




I could have easily taken up free membership for toilettes d'affairs considering the number of times that I have patronise it.

A quarter and two

...makes twenty-seven.

An age that is not quite young, but not quite old either. But age 27 has caught on the imagination of others, with 27 Club referring to "a popular culture name for a group of influential rock and blues musicians who all died at the age of 27, sometimes under mysterious circumstances" (Wikipedia).

This macabre image was certainly not in Best Friend's nor Great Friend's minds last Saturday. Best Friend was waiting with bated breath what Great Friend had planned that Best Friend might as well have gone and read Charles Dicken's Great Expectations.

Trying to test the wit of Best Friend, Great Friend gave a card that carried a riddle. Thanks to the regular training by JJ Lin Jun Jie and sister BL who had given the Cat thousands of gifts wrapped in surprises and riddles, the riddle posed by Great Friend unfortunately proved too three-legged-cat for Best Friend Cat that they were soon cruising along to the Ferris within five minutes. But not without Best Friend first getting a wonderful briefcase of a gift from Great Friend.

With the camera's clicking away since this was the first time they were on that humongous wheel, they were soon on top of the world!!! If this was what Great Friend had planned to be, it certainly worked, both literally and metaphorically.... until a box of sublime strawberries dipped in heavenly Nutella as next offered by Great Friend almost drove Best Friend nuts with the pleasures of not just the sights, but now even that of the palette!

Well, it just didn't end there. At Woods restaurant in Vivocity, Great Friend was shilling how the restaurant scored the points of some food critics when the chefs there used charcoal fire to prepare their cuisine. With baked mozarella and mushroom, and then a fish main course, Best Friend and Great Friend couldn't agree more that Great Friend's judgment was marvellously fabulous. Perhaps, it might have been due to their peckish nature as a result of a slip in the planning which saw them getting to the restaurant later than planned that made the food so delectable, but certainly the whole ambience of the place is worth checking out. But Great Friend seems almost unapologetic about the slip, as all other aspects of the plan has been executed so perfectly and neatly, that a slip seems almost wanting to make sure the whole event is not just another Best Friend's dream. It was an effort by Great Friend to tell Best Friend that the surrealness experienced earlier is real.

Not withstanding a full stomach, Great Friend and Best Friend decided that coffee in Clarke Quay would be a wonderful ending to the evening. The mud-pie at Coffee Club was what they shared, and what they truely enjoyed... watching the mud pie topple and then attacking it with no mercy did not leave Best Friend and Great Friend guilty of the sins of loading their bodies with calories. And it was Great Friend at this time that really caught the Cat by its tail, when Best Friend could not guess what was inside a wrapped box that Great Friend flashed out for him.

It took quite a bit of giving of clues, that Best Friend could not enjoy ice cream due to his most sensitive teeth (for a most sensitive person, what do you expect) before Best Friend managed to squeal in delight "Sensodyne".... an answer that was almost a promise to Best Friend that they would have to go for Hagaan Daaz ice-cream in future. No excuse for Best Friend!!!

And what did I say about age 27 again? As far as I know, age 27 couldn't be better!

P.S. As competitive as Best Friend has always been, Best Friend is determined to outdo Great Friend when Great Friend's birthday approach next year May. To this, Best Friend already had in mind a grand scheme, one that would draw the Great Friend swiftly to concede losing.... *wicked guffaw in Mongolian style*

Bintan

One day, Mr G and Good Friend decided to go to Bintan.

Mr G met Good Friend at Tampines MRT where they took a train and bus to Tanah Merah ferry terminal. Their exciting day began with their awe at the spacious and comfortable Mayang Sari room. But because Mr G had not slept much the day before and since both of them were early for their planned itinerary, they napped for a while before leaving for Pasar Oleh Oleh.

Enchanted by a particular sleepy restaurant tucked at a corner where there was hardly a soul, Mr G and Good Friend decided to fill their tummy in this refill station. By refill, it also meant a Bintang beer! It is usually not advisable for one to do a massage straightaway after a heavy meal, but the two went ahead anyway with a two-hour body massage and scrub. Both agreed the soothing head massage was a blast, but Mr G was actually secretly hoping that the head rub would not give him a literal post-massage hair-dropping experience!

Thereafter they returned to hotel to walk down the wet beach. Wait a minute, wet beach? Durrrr... but it was wet as it had showered mercilessly earlier and the sand was slightly cold to the touch. Sill Mr G and Good Friend thought that might have been a blessing since nobody came out from their warm little huts. Thus the entire beach was theirs. Until they realised later that they shared it with the mosquitoes!

Admidst the tiger balm that Good Friend was quick to offer to Mr G in their room for their itch, they realised they were losing their cup noodles eating time! Good Friend hardly ate anything while Mr G could have been easily mistaken as a part-time fire-eater when he gobbled down the entire cup within a min. Not that they would be disturbed by their hunger pangs later for they were totally floored by their mangrove firefly tour, what with all the river cruising and firefly catching (and releasing of course)!

Their stomach forgave them when their late dinner was settled at a near-forgotten beach side restaurant after the tour. Soon, iced wine in the hotel room washed down the entire fatigue of the day, and the day culminated with Mr G and Good Friend doing a Watson's facial mask that made them really really sleepy… What Mr G lacked Good Friend made up. It was the astute Good Friend who reminded the myopic Mr G to set the alarm clock lest they fell asleep.

Thanks to Good Friend's most enterprising thought, they were in good time for the breakfast. But the sky had hardly been doing them any favours again when they saw over the course of their meal, a most wondrous sky turning moody and then great, it poured....As if that was not bad enough, they missed the bus to Pasar Oleh Oleh as the call of the concierge eluded them. They could only content themselves by taking the internal shuttle bus to other resorts and checking out their facilities. If there was a silver lining, it was the conclusion that the resort they stayed was simply the best. And with this "best" word which they had continued to use to describe their whole experience, Mr G and Good Friend left Bintan for Home Sweet Home.

Scaring the 3-legged cat

**From my.. eX-peren... I feel... ** that this post really scared the sh*t out of the three-legged cat!

Do not watch if you:
(1) DO NOT want nightmares, OR
(2) are working NOW late at night in office, OR
(3) going to take an elevator later, OR
(4) work in Raffles Place CBD, OR
(5) hate old women, OR
(6) are just plain scary (but not necessarily 3-legged) cat.

After all, one person commented in the youtube "f*ck you! now I cant go to the elevator in the condo from the internet cafe!".

Lol.... an absolute best way to encourage people to shave off some kilos through climbing the stairs.. but then again, who can promise that there is no hanging wispy white gowned Nightingale waiting at the stairs....

For some hard-core ghost-bustering, visit our gungho friends at http://www.rafflesplaceghost.net/blog/
where they do all the follow-up.

Best of Noose: Maid Trg Sch/Barbarella Beach/Lulu and Balls

Got this clip after going to SL LLG blog.
My goodness, Michelle Chong's accentsss are so diversifying!!

Love letters

Did they really say that?

Her: Ok, I think I will just remain silent and give my demure smile
Him: No no.. you are not going to do that. You should just open your mouth and show to the world that you have both beauty and brain.
Her: *chuckle*
Him: But after that, you can still flash them your demure smile

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There are not many occassions where I woul flip through magazines and pore through them in earnest, but reading SDU tri-monthly magazine can be a riveting affair. One of the pages gave a most edifying instruction of writing love letter. It would seem almost anachronistic for one to express oneself through hand-writing, but this practice stil retains its own little charm.

Someone blogged about how he wrote his first love letter to his crush at a tender age of 7 when he was in primary one. I find it hilarious, warm-heartening and pure all at the same time:

I love you SIng LIng
Please love me
I'll give you a eraser or a ruler if you love me

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Other love letters are:

I gently press my lips to yours and try to forget everything, gazing into your lovely eyes - I lay on your precious breast, rested my tired head upon it still. This morning I tried to gain calm and strength for the separation. Goodbye wee one, Lovebird, Sunshine, Huzy mine, Own!
- Tsarina Alexandra to Tsar Nicholas II of Russia, 1915.

It seems to me, to myself, that no man was ever before to any woman what you are to me.
- Robert Browning, 1846.

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Arachnid

Scorpio are easily adaptable, determined, and instinctive. They are philosophical, powerful, and very intense. Scorpios tend to always get what they want.

They also tend to be fiery, with a sting in their tail, which leads to an exciting and passionate relationship. Relationships with Scorpio's won't be without problems though as they can be jealous, secretive, and compulsive. They are extremely loyal and emotional though, always wanting to prove their love to their family and friends.

Scorpio Strength: Passionate
Scorpio Weakness: Isolated

Scorpio Love Horoscope Compatibility

When it comes to relationships, Scorpio are most compatible with TAURUS & PISCES, a complimentary earth sign and a water sign. The complimentary relationship between earth and water brings about an understanding and easiness in a romantic relationship. Both compliment each other well and would create a deep companionship.

Source: http://www.romancestuck.com/astrology/horoscopes/scorpio-love-horoscopes.htm

Formula

Different people have their own fomulae when it comes to finding their significant halves.

"minus 4 plus 2", declared my cousin many years ago. "Younger by 4 years or older by 2 years", he explained.

So for quite some time, I adopted this system. Almost quite chic if you think about it, as if one's fetishes with numbers haven't quite stopped at high school.. It's almost like one's life affair can be solved almost as easily as with a mathematically formula, and you can almost know whether your answer is right or wrong. But as years wore on, I began to revise this counting system. Make it "minus 6 plus 3", wherefore 6 is a multiple of 3, just as it was the case of 4 is a multiple of 2. My rationale is simple. Had it been minus >6 or plus >3, there is no end in defending myself against charges of paedophilism or aunti-fetishism.

But SL LLG could only bewilder me with his even more elegant formula. Now this is also another oddity of mathmos from The Other University. For it is not just how they are forever fascinated by the most quotidian of the state of the world affairs - as in that the angle of the wake made by an object in deep water is always 2arcsin(1/3), they are also interested in formulating key equations linking IQ, vital statistics, weight and age.

Let me explain further.

SL LLG's point is that his future wife must possess a few key statistics. Capturing the essentials would require the following formula:

150 < Vital stats + age + weight < Her IQ
But considering how stringent this formula is in its implementation, I suggested that if he still insists on this, his future wife might well be a solution to the following:

Let the latitude of his wife's geographical location wrt equator = x

The solution can be found only if they satisfy the following 2 equations:
x sq - 11 x - 80 = 0 ---- (1) and
dP(x)/dt > 0 ---- (2)

Essentially, as SL LLG ages (gracefully or otherwise), his bargaining power gets lesser, which would require that his wife be found either at 16 degree North (Vietnam) or 5 degree South (Indonesia), and the probability that this will happen [P(x)] will just go higher over time
dP(x)/dt >0

But, I am not so greedy. I will die a happy man if my gf is
(1) From reputable school such as Dunman High, TJC (Bonus if from LEP)
(2) Be effectively bilingual
(3) Knows her cocktail well
(4) A chiobu
(5) And most importantly loves me as much as I love her.

To heck with the formula, you stupid Cantabs!!!

JJ Lin 豆浆油条

豆浆 really goes with 油条 !! At least that's our conclusion last night at Dhoby Gaut - 要一起吃下去味道才会是最好!

But some 豆浆 does not go with some 油条, at least that's the case for my best friend who had caught the eyes of a smitten girl. I shall keep their anonymity but it suffices to say that the girl was named after a season where leaves turn brown and everything was a romantic hue.

Bur romance was far from my friend's mind when he pleaded with me and his kakis to deliver him from his misery. This was a last ditch attempt since all his endeavours to show his indifference failed - she just don't get it!

Having been hounded repeatedly by her still, he decided to execute Project Winter Sonata... It became all the more imperative since he has received unequivocal signals that she wants to meet him and eat him on his birthday.

With that, I was tasked to deliver a crushing blow for her to beat a hasty retreat by leaving a message on his facebook wall.

Preferring to leave me to my fecund imagination rather than nstructing what to write, I penned,
"David and I suggested that you go to Dempsey Hill on your b'day since it's going to be a romantic hangout for first-time couple like you. Speaking of which, when are you going to introduce WenZhao to us huh?"

As I explained later, the first statement would propel her to ninth heaven if she thinks that she is part of the "couple" in question. But the second.. the mention of WenZhao, will unleash the power of heart-crushing palm (碎心掌)

Children's Day

By this children's day 2008, I have already received:

(1) 3 accompaniments for Mamamia, Youth without Youth, and Painted Skin.
(2) Puteri mas durian puffs which come at the expense of 2 hrs and a slight fever from the rain
(3) A seductive smile with cool and demure disposition at Jazz @ Southbridge
(4) A cocktail evening at The Iguana
(5) A two-way "Will you be ...." and "Are you sure?" replies.
And finally, the best gift of it all,
(6) a most scented lavender

With it, October 1st will never just be Children's Day, China's New Year, or Hari Raya. It is Lavender Day.

Thank you for the Lavender.
I will cherish it and most importantly love it.

La voiture... La biere... La femme....

Quote of the day
Low self-esteem can really debase a person to a level which one does not rightly deserve. Let's not shortchange yourself anymore. You deserve the best.

A black-and-white image retrieved from my memory stream saw my French tutor posing an interesting question during one of those tutorials in NUS many years ago - "Why are cars and beer in French feminine and not musculine?"

"Maybe la voiture and la biere sounded more cool than le voiture and le biere", my classmate offered.

After a few non, mais c'est interessant, we were eager to find out the reason behind that professor's playful smile.

Because they make men crazy, he quipped, that smile still plastered.

Yes, they make men crazy. (You must be thinking "Huh!?.. 这样也行?" ..... 是的. 这样也行)

It was a night of cars, beers and women - the mood of F1 racing, the intoxicating beers and the beautiful companions all around in that little jazz bar that seemed almost forgotten by the outside world.... until much later in the evening.

Some went for the cars. Others had a revelry of beers and car feel. Still, the luckiest of it all had all three, particularly if one has a drop too much and relishing the chill of the evening wind but finally ending with waiting in vain for NR7.

But this too, will soon pass...

And so that evening of the 27th Sept 2008, the curtains came down in the usual fashion of a great play, concluding the magical moments of the evening that had transpired. Where what had been savoured that evening, only in one's dreams can they be revived...

Chinese Literature

小小词典 (Little little dictionary)

绝世: (verb) to cause the end of the world
美女: (noun) a beauty
Hence 绝世美女: the woman who causes the end of the world

黄蓉 (born in 1203, died January 31, 1273) is also a 绝世美女.

For the uninitiated, she is a fictitious character in 金庸's The Legend of the Condor Heroes (射雕英雄传), and is the the witty wife of 郭靖.

She is my most favourite character in Condor, and the reasons why this 美女 is so 绝世 are:

(1) A marvellously witty woman who uses her intelligence to support the man she loves - 郭靖.

When I was in primary school and reading Young Generation magazine, there was a story featuring a simple-minded fellow. He wanted to be intelligent, and was told to go to the mountains where he would meet a wise woman who would tell him where to get his brains. When he finally reached there, the old woman introduced him to a wonderfully kind-hearted and smart woman (who could be called a 绝世美女 in her own rights). Immediately, he saw it - marry a smart wife and you will be smart - (wonderfully meaningful even though I was a kid when I read this). So 郭靖 is lucky to have 黄蓉 who gives him advice in his darkest need and they always escape unscathed.

(2) 黄蓉 has strong 正义-ness. Which was why she was so endearing to 東邪 西毒 南帝 北丐 中神通. Despite her stoic feel, she sheds tears (e.g. when Hong Qi gong was injured) on occassions, and this reveals her woman-ness in her... her fragility yet her determination to overcome all odds (well, she found a clam that healed Hong Qigong) - simply charming.

(3) 黄蓉 is adept in 打狗棒法, and despite she being the first woman beggar leader in the beggar sect, she wouldn't mind running against conventions.

(4) 黄蓉 is super chio... at least in the eyes of both 郭靖 and the obnoxious 楊康 who wanted to taste the swan's flesh. But it may be aptly said that 楊康 learnt some 哈蟆功 from 歐陽鋒, so he is a quientessential 癞哈蟆 (sorry lame here)...

To 靖哥哥, she's his 蓉儿...

Wonder if 蓉儿 will travel from Tampines to Joo Chiat to buy durian puffs, then to Boon Lay for 靖哥哥??

I have to ask 靖哥哥 to see if he is lucky enough! This lucky bugger!!!

Mamma Mia! The Movie - Money, Money, Money

Quote of the Day
"If my ideal girfriend is 100%, then she is 200%."


This song rocks! You should watch the movie and see the fantasies accompanying this song!

Mama-Miaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....

Quote of the Day

"You don't really have to apologize if you lead me to the wrong way. Right or wrong way, I am spending precious moments with you. To me this is all that matters."
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Terrific! Mama mia has been a play which I have wanted to watch but the price tag of the seat seemed too prohibitive... at least that was the situation many years ago as an undergrad. Thus when the movie came out, it sent me on the high. But the evening and accompanying confabulations at AMK Hub with SL LLG ended rather late for us to watch it by the time we realise it was on screen. So that was a no go.

Almost like a blessing in disguise, Sharapova asked if I would be the beholder of a second free ticket. Had one dangle a piece of juicy meat over a starving bulldog, one would get the same reaction that I exhibited... only difference is that I don't bark. I merely bit meekly, but tightly... as the opportunity came.

The ABBA music in Mama Mia blew my mind. Chic, classy and cool.

On the same day, Sha gave me a book by Nicolas Spark - The Rescue. Since then, I have been swallowing it in my bus ride, train ride and idling thing. Painfully protracted in some scenes, the reader is rewarded with breathtaking relief towards the end.

Thanks Sha.

Sing to the dawn

The computer screen revealed what I was looking for, and a smile came over my face.

"Slack like shit", I mused. "That's precisely why the words slack and shit begin with the letter S."

There were those occassions when I groaned under the towering weight of assignments in Semester 1, only to reap the profits later in this semester. Classes were so obscenely minimal that strangely, you just felt somewhat derisive of the whole thing.

But sing to the dawn it gave, for this opens a whole new world of possibilities with what I could do with all these free time. Naturally, gunning a driving license came to my mind.

Going out with friends also become a more easier affair, with BBQs, lunch and steamboat dotting my calender. Careful to watch the waist, cardio exercising is also dovetailed into my schedule.

Alas, "all these would soon pass", and to cite one of the timepiece advertisement, "不在乎天长地久,只在乎曾经拥有". Once the real working starts next year, all these good times would be a footnote to my life history.

Mindless

The working world with its worth of exotica and discovery never fails to impress me with how much financial freedom it would confer to its participants. Having flirted with penury just last year with the bank breaking to pay for quite a few large ticket items, I had resolved to fattening my piggy bank the moment i started work this year. And save I did, and plans for a holiday this December seems to be impending.

For some strange reasons of sort, I felt wildly disorientated.... And I shall attribute it to the one week long school break that had seen the fully stretched elastic rubber being loosened almost too abruptly - I had a few mad weeks of dissertation writing and evening exams to take in concurrent with my teaching stint... with my workload dropping off a precipice at the end of August when all deadlines have been duely met... and culminating in teacher's day celebration and this proverbial one week break.

And perhaps that is because during those mayhem days, I had really intended to meet up with all friends and sms-ing them to say "hey bud, long time no meet. How's life. Hope all's well... and let's meet up sometime in Sept yah. Take care and cheers!".. giving the reasons that once the storm is over, I will be ready to meet them up over a meal for catching up to see how each others' careers, love lives, plans have taken to...

....and then I shudder to think that mine has been almost as stagnant, bland and insipid for the past few months with no news to gush forth, and almost fearful to hear that this friend is expecting and ready to become a first-time Dad/Mum, or that friend has just completed his scholarship bond and is manumited. I am just not ready for all that... I just felt I am what I was a year ago, save with a few extra pounds in my piggy bank. Nothing... absolutely nothing had moved forward. I have become rather predictable.

A breeze of bewilderment came over me. Sure, I have the financial might to pick out the IKEA furniture I fancy on with SL LLG to adorn my aesthetically-overdued bedroom... and I do savour the delectable meals at places I barely frequent, but for some reason not ready to take on the adult world by storm and confront all the responsibilities and customs expected of a typical Singapore urban male.

But I have to.

In a free tarot card reading session offered as a prelude to dinner last Thursday, I dismissed the part about what the cards say about my romantic path, but concur almost with no doubt what came out in the cards for other respects.. particularly of my plan when I hit the golden age of 30. The reader summed it all up neatly - While "this" is your comfort zone, better deals beckon. Go for it as you have always believed."

A smile came over my face. But underneath, a torrent of thoughts came forth. In probability theory, one would always assign a probability to each life event. If A happens with this probability, plan B might be shelved, and what happens after plan A is plan C and plan D. But how hard should I pray for plan A to happen if I do cherish plan B as much, but which I know plan C and D are equally important? But I was quickly reminded that this is tarot card reading after all, and as The Leap Years put it quoting William Shakespear, "It is not in the stars to hold our destiny, but in ourselves", I remain... somewhat optimistic, albeit in a subdued manner.

A chapter has closed. Another one opens.

Last weekend sent a torrent of emotions - from maudlin to relief to forward-loooking and to nostalgia. For last Friday officially marked the last day of practicum in school. What can be more befitting to celebrate this occassion than having a wonderful teachers' day dinner on Thursday evening with colleagues as a school function, with the day only duly completed when some of us chilled out till wee hours of the night at IndoChine near Clarke Quay.

The following day was hardly any less eventful. After all, it's that judgment day for teachers - either rose or rues. It's that day among that 365 days where teachers sit to watch concerts, receive compliments (or don't receive) them and reminisce how the past few months have been. It was the same day that I had to lugged my goodie bags in the fashion of a slimmed and healthy albeit equally ruddy Santa Clause to my four classes, doling out my farewell gifts to them and made.. what else a farewell speech.

Equally well received with lots of gratitude were gifts and cards from my erstwhile students. What made them special was that they encapsulate both gratitutes (as teachers' day presents the opportunity) and farewells... with languages only reserved for those last days.

So merciful was the one week holiday that I had the time to read the messages they had left for me, and to do some pigging out of what has long been overdued. Below, I was feted to a wonderfully fashioned cupcake given to me by a Sec 1 kid until I realised I should take a shot of it. With a little bit of imagination, recreating the cupcake in your mind's eye should not be too difficult

Of course, I'm also paying tribute to those students who have given me some encouragement in my teaching stint, either through asking questions or just a wonderful smile along the corridor.

I said the holiday was a gratefully received one because the following Saturday I had to wake up in the early morning for a durian tour in JB! Being an absolute die-hard durian fan, no fatigue can stop me from this escapade to taste one of wonderful God's creations on earth - the spiky art of nature that mellows your heart when you finally manage to crack open it and savour its greatness.. Ahhhhh.... Seems like for the first human who came across this this durian, the tenacity to find flesh of treasures inside certainly pays off!

Indeed it didn't disappoint. Thus was my resolve that was made that I shall make this yearly pilmigrage to the durian plantation in JB... and stopping for a Thai body massage at Jusco shopping centre later!

To quote Great Eastern - Life is Great!

I've been missing!

Yup, lost in that sea of assignment submissions and exams.

I found a new lease of life 2 days ago on Monday when I ended my last exam paper on Linear Algebra at Sing Poly. The prior week had been the most stressful week of the year. Not only was my part-time Masters dissertation due on Friday, I had to contend with Mon and Wed paper which I did not particularly prepare except the week before. Anyway, enough of raining on this subject...

Despite an impending last paper, I nonetheless had a laugh of my life when I went for the play Own Time Own Target (OTOT) in the Esplanade with JJ O 俊杰, ShiLong LLG and George. OTOT was part of the OCBC Singapore film festival and it starred Nick Shen together with a motley of other thespians active in the play scene.

I did not expect that there would be a collection of three plays spanning 3 hr 15 min! For a ticket that's $27, it's an absolute steal! When Dim Sum Dollies first started out, ticket price was very reasonable. Of course when words get around that the Dollies are not just mere talking barbie dolls, the price can only head north for future performances.. and by then people have no qualms paying big $$ to have their bones tickled!

Besides the authentic Sikh accent and demeanor, plus the highly visual glamorous display of men in drag in their various roles as aunties cashier, dance hostesses, and not forgetting journalist (Oh yes, Tricia Teo), here is one example among many of what they said that drove us to sheer madness:

Recruit, you think this is the President Star Charity is it?? If there is one NATHAN, it's you - COCKANATHAN!

Of course, expletives flew like water in Thailand water festival. Perhaps a bit contrived, but otherwise have this lil vicarious humorous effect in some occassions.

For those who would like to know what we watched, I have done a snatch text from http://www.singaporetheatrefestival.com/index.php/the-plays/own-time-own-target

(1) FULL TANK by Laremy Lee
In the midst of a desperate island-wide search for an *oops* escaped terrorist, Sergeant Leroy and his motley crew hijack a tank and go AWOL, embarking on a joyride through Singapore’s streets! Are they criminals or heroes? Or just plain crazy? Join them on a hilariously bizarre and uniquely Singaporean road-trip!

(2) RADIO SILENCE by Laremy Lee
An NSF officer and his wary driver are lost in the jungle, their unspecified mission taking them deeper and deeper into a no man’s land where rank can break down as quickly as the radio …

(3) BOTAK BOYS by Julian Wong
BMT is every Singaporean male’s nightmare. Or is it? Experience the heartache, the bravery and the rude shocks as Justin and his blur buddies sing and dance their way through Tekong! Will he find friends? Will his secret be exposed? Will he survive to become even more of a man?

I'm all the more convinced I should be going for more plays!

"Declination" email

If I am out of the teaching job, I know exactly what to work as.... a letter writer (is there a specific name for such an occupation?).

My service shall range from swooning love letters to crushing "declination" letters. I had the chance to indite an email for my sis who was woo-ed by this guy. Cognizant that she would still like to maintain friendship with him, my masterpiece had to ensure that it has the right level of tone and consistency. So this was what I churned out within 6 minutes for my sis.

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Hello XXX,

Sorry for this late reply. Your email came as a surprise and I thought it deserved some thought in replying. Plus I was away on training earlier so I did not want to give you an email that was rushed through.

As you rightfully put it, a relationship is more than just feelings. It also has to include considerations of distance and other factors. Most importantly, a successful relationship entails some level of friendship in order to understand each other better at first.

Though I am officially single, I am also looking to start a relationship with this friend in the church whom we have mutual feelings for. I cherish your chivalry and helpfulness which are very positive qualities. And I always believe that God has made plans for everyone. Though it may not work out between the two of us this time round, I'm sure there is a girl out there who is worth every your time and care and appreciate those qualities enough to want to see them from you for the rest of her life.

I'm sorry if I have disappointed you. However, please continue this wonderful friendship as we had for the past few months for I cherish wonderful friends like you.

Best,
ABC
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My sis showed her friend who later commented that my style of writing is similar to another friend of theirs who is an English major. When my sis told me this, I thought I was on cloud million already

The pantry world of our own

A recent photograph tagged in facebook invited one inquisitve question of why new T-chirs have their tables in the pantry. To this, the 三脚猫 replied that contrary to what she thinks, the pantry in my schoooooo is actually the place to be if you want your working life to be imbued with laughter and good-natured jokes.

At least this has been the case for the past 4 weeks for me since being posted to do my T-ching. Today, my colleagues (all N*E, relief, practic^m and contract) decided to go for our nights out despite having done so the day before. Mr Y who had left his relief on Monday to do his reservist in the police force managed to find time to join us to catch up the happenings of the week. It transpired that just two days ago, some students have spotted him in his "Mr Policeman" uniform, and Mr Y had wished a hole would open to swallow him up.

Mr O and I had been irritating Miss M with our mock Malaysian accent. We managed to perfect some simple sentences, particularly putting the accent on the word "到". Seizing every opportunities, sentences that begin with "累到.......", "气到......", "饿到.....", 坏到....." dotted our conversations. Miss M was clearly unimpressed. So was her partner in crime, Miss C. (Incidentally Miss C teaches Chinese).

I am not the only 猫 family around. Once Mr O remarked to Miss M in their usual banter session, "老虎不发威, 当我是病猫啊". Aiyah.. but with his perpetual 唏唏哈哈 demeanour, we have always treated Mr O as a 病猫, and a really 病猫 at that........ until.... wah...

One day, in the canteen, we were having our lunch together, we heard an explosion with some reverberations that ripped through the air. Patently, it was not the sound of an inflated drink packet that was stomped on. Curiosity killed Mr O (the 病猫), the 三脚猫, and all the other lunch kakis. Miss M was quite concerned that the boys over at the corner was endangering others' life and urged us to go over and check things out. We were on two minds when...

a rabbit came.. or rather, this lanky boy walked past. Mr O called him out and made a motion for him to come over. With that simple smile plastered on his face, he advanced. Who would have known that the next few seconds the 三脚猫, Miss M, Mr Y and Miss N were to miss a heartbeat when Mr O transformed into a 老虎 and with an enveloping voice that has a surround system effect, he roared "Eh! You tell me what's happening over there". If the air had just been a little more moist, an electrical discharge would have jumped.

The roar brought the hapless boy swiftly to his knees, to which he stammered "I.... I..'m from sec 3A, and these boys over there.... they sec four one... take some dry ice and put in bottle then explode..." Clearly dissociating himself from those gangs of sec 4, the rabbit appeared just so small, so dimunitive.

"Ok, you can go", commandered Mr O, the ex-army officer.

Stunned.

"Wah... Mr O, never see you turn into a 老虎 leh".... and those past few weeks of boisterous kids who had been stretching you and you still believed never in raising voice.. First time leh.... Around the table, the disconcerted ones acquiesced almost immediately.

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We must be getting extra high today when we decided to go to the city for dinner. Mr O (the-saintly病猫-who-refused-an-MC), and I, shared two $1 durians before leaving, and our blood was charged with glucose. Of course, Miss M grabbed this opportunity to say our mouths stank with methane. Mr O bore the greater brunt of the impact since he had been rubbing the wrong way up with Miss M most of the time, while the 三脚猫 has been completely snowed under work most of the time.

Anyway, we settled for a simple meal after a plea by Mr O to watch the budget and the body. Truth is he's more concerned about the former. Nicely ensconced in our seats, we began our confession sessions about our impressions of one another, peppered with banters and recounting of wonderful incidents. Turned out I am the most judgemental! Hahaha.... But they got their way when they had been relating me to Kim Jong Il, an MP aide, a "celebrity", and many others. To them, the three-legged cat has a common face just like items on a pasar malam!

Miss N brought her Taiwanese bf to join us later, and poor boy, he was completely clueless as we launched into our own world of jokes since the jokes were all very contextual. The classic ones are: Mr O's elaborated analogy of riding a roller coaster to the apex when the teachers croned "是你!! 是你!! 梦见的就是你!" in 甜蜜蜜; Miss M's in-your-face remarks (particularly the spelling of curiosity where she left no mercy in persecuting brutally all those who had wronged her) with her accompanying drama mama histrionics; Mr Y's tales of the light and dark as a teacher of a normal acad class and subsequently as a ma2 da2 who had to jargar some quarelling ah sohs and emo kids; Mr C's insinuation of the vertically challenged nature of Mr Ong; Miss N's quiet but fiercely determined nature of not letting the sisterhood down when Miss C and Miss M combined powers to put down the ma2 da2, the saint-who-never-MC, and the 三脚猫.
But it was a great night. Pity that tomorrow Mr O and Miss M are going to leave the school to start their NIE course. Left only Miss N, Miss C and the 三脚猫. Sighhhhh.......

Perspectives

I'm sure you would have heard before that the same quality would elicit different responses or views, and this phenomenon is seen both spatially (i.e. different views formed by different people at the same time) and temporally (i.e. the same person would revise an earlier opinion). One of the NIE lecturers gave an example to explain this point - a girl may fancy a guy's generosity before marriage, but this very same virtue of generosity becomes a vice of profligacy after marriage.


I said this because I have known a colleague who has presented to me different perspectives, and I must say that it has affected my moral compass by a great deal. I'm not sure if you have this experience in your life when you talk to some people and realise that they are immensely principled. You walk away after the talk feeling extremely ruffled, and somewhat disconcerted. Well, that was what happened to me when I got to know Mr O, my colleague.

Mr O teaches Biology and Physics, and as a pre-NIE trainee teacher, we got posted to the same school together with other fun-loving temporary and contemporary teachers, a motley of contract, relief, ESE and practicum teachers. As part of the lunch kakis, we usually lounge in the canteen and chat about mundane stuffs as and when the bell and classes would limit us. One day, Mr O shared with us how he forgot about a test that constituted 20% of the module marks in NUS. Frantic, he emailed the professor, and the professor requested Mr O to call him.

Over the phone, the professor urged Mr O to get an MC. Mr O simply refused as he felt that he had no moral grounds to absolve himself from his foible of forgetfulness. My other colleagues and I were shocked. Trying to stretch him further, I posed him another hypothestical question - Had it been an exam, would you get an MC? His reply - No.

There was something about Mr O and his tone that you knew that he meant what he said. I felt really humbled.... as a man of weaknesses and kiasi-ness, I was brought down by this Monsieur O, who had stood by his principles and practised it. Perhaps, it was because he's a pastor's son, and so he had quite a formidable level of principles. When I asked in another incident, if he would print some school resources for his tuition kids (assuming he has some which hitherto he has none), he replied that it was unethical, and that he wouldn't do it.

It has been a long time since my moral compass has been adjusted. The last I remembered was when I met SL LLG in the army, who with his logical rationcination and religious devoutness, influenced me the way I have lived for the next few years of my life - in dealing with situations, b**chy people and scheming colleagues. Monsieur O really impressed me.

But no, I am still going to take MCs if I need to despite the emulation of the titan. As I argued, it is all a matter of perspectives. SL LLG and I believe in MCs if there are greater utilitarian values to the society, and we don't abuse the system flagrantly, but only at the most urgent state of affairs. But surely, Monsieur O has left me in awe in all sense.

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It is Mr Y's last day today as he had to report for reservist. Some of us xinjiao teachers decided that we should head to Sakae Sushi for a good buffet. With the exception of one, all of us were ready to flash that NUS/NIE student card to enjoy the discount.

Apparently, Sakae has changed its policy to discriminating the price by age. Alas, we had to pay the "adult" fare, but we gleefully tucked into our food nevertheless. After 3 hours of chatting and crapping, I left the place saying that I need to go jogging to burn off all the food dumped into that bag called stomach.

At 6+ and with quite a bit of a wind, I convinced myself that a short pre-run nap would be sublime. And a "short" one it was. When I woke up, groggy and lethargic, it was 9.15. At this time, I'm supposed to be meeting ZM MMG for the "Red Cliff" movie. Shooting out of bed, I dashed all the way down with that unkempt look, and certainly an apologetic demeanour. We decided to switch to Hellboy 2 as it was scheduled later. Thank goodness I made it on time. The punishing morning schedules of a teacher have begun to crept up onto me these three weeks.

That's Mr P for me.